Anyone else feel guilty about Santa/Elfs?

sarahns80 · November 2012

Ok so we have the Elf on a Shelf and I read her the book about being good so he can give Santa a good report, etc. Well I felt really guilty about lying about Santa. She asked me 'does he really fly to see Santa?' and I said yeah but then just got a horrible feeling. Then I have reminded her that the elf is watching when she is not obeying me. I hate to say that it works and she stopped doing whatever I was telling her not to the couple times I said that. So I'm tempted to keep saying that the elf is watching. I know everyone tells their kids about Santa/ Elves etc but since this is the 1st year where she is asking questions and can understand it, I feel so bad about it. Anyone else?

dragon_chica · November 2012

Nope. To me it's all fun and games. I've always enjoyed believing in things like Santa, tooth fairy, etc. I don't feel like I'm deceiving my child. I also don't care if people view it as a ridiculous way to get their child to behave. DD behaves perfectly fine for a 3 y/o the rest of the year so I don't see anything wrong with adding a little push for a mere 3 weeks out of the year. I don't see it any different as when parents promise dessert if they take two more bites of their dinner or whatever else. And TBH, the elf really hasn't made that big of a difference in DD's behavior. She just seems to enjoy reading the book and looking for "Tuck" in the morning.

bellybaby · November 2012

It's creating memories! She'll laugh about it when shes older and she'll remember it as a tradition! It's not mean at all

lujain · November 2012

We do not do Santa because I do not like lying to my kid. I'm not sure what we are going to do about the tooth fairy.

mbgreenwalt · November 2012

No, I do not feel guilty. I also don't feel like I'm lying. I think I am creating memories and making the season fun. I don't feel like my parents lied to me and I'm not damaged for believing in Santa.

Leap08 · November 2012

I don't feel guilty and I don't feel as though I am lying. I feel like I'm creating a bit of Christmas magic, long term traditions, and great memories. My parents did Santa and I never felt lied to or deceived, and I still love Christmas and the idea of Santa.

onlymeggan · November 2012

Santa is a big part of Christmas for a kid. Not to mention that if you tell a small child there's no Santa, not only are you ruining it for them but you could cause issues for other families when your LO tells other kids there's no Santa. There will be a Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Elf on a Shelf (Joe) for as long as my kids believe in magic. When my DS1 grows out of it he will be tasked with keeping it to himself as not to ruin it for the smaller kids. That's how it's always been done in my family and I'm good with it. Honestly, I've been looking forward to being Santa for my kids since before I had kids! Big Smile

AimeeL85 · November 2012

mbgreenwalt:
No, I do not feel guilty. I also don't feel like I'm lying. I think I am creating memories and making the season fun. I don't feel like my parents lied to me and I'm not damaged for believing in Santa.

I agree with this and as I've said before...if a kid grows up feeling they were lied to and betrayed by their parents because of Santa...there's other issues there that have nothing to do with Santa.

Meeshe · November 2012

While I don't generally have a problem with it because I love the "magic" of it all for them. I understand what you mean about feeling guilty about the flat-out lying when they ask questions. I have felt that way too. I TRY to avoid it, by saying "well what do you think?" or something along those lines. It doesn't always work with my 5 year-old smartie pants who will say "I want you to answer mommy" but often it does. Then I don't feel that guilt.

Stephanie2167 · November 2012

Not one bit!

sarahns80 · November 2012

I think I'm more guilty about saying things like 'the elf on the shelf is watching' and her really thinking she has to do what I'm saying or the elf won't tell Santa she was good. Yeah I wouldn't want to ruin the Santa magic yet.

groovygrl · November 2012

I dont feel bad at all about Santa, I don't think too many kids have been traumatized over the years about being 'lied to' about a guy who brings them gifts & gets them excited for the holiday but maybe I'm naive. he's magic & fun & the spirit of giving, etc. I am making my kids leave 10 of their old toys out in a big bag for santa to take to give to other kids...that's a lie too I guess but I don't feel badly about that either, same spirit.

The elf... wellll I don't know if I'm going to emphasize the watching TOO much. I think I will have the elf watch for GOOD behavior (which is what hte book says anyway I think) not go rat out bad behavior & see how that goes (my kids are 3 last yr the liked looking for the elf but didn't get it).

Maybe this will make you feel better about santa

https://www.cozi.com/live-simply/truth-about-santa

lynsef · November 2012

Sometimes, but then I remember how much the magic of Christmas meant to me when I was a child and I want my children to have the same memories.

Ardmhs83 · November 2012

dragon_chica:
Nope. To me it's all fun and games. I've always enjoyed believing in things like Santa, tooth fairy, etc. I don't feel like I'm deceiving my child. I also don't care if people view it as a ridiculous way to get their child to behave. DD behaves perfectly fine for a 3 y/o the rest of the year so I don't see anything wrong with adding a little push for a mere 3 weeks out of the year. I don't see it any different as when parents promise dessert if they take two more bites of their dinner or whatever else. And TBH, the elf really hasn't made that big of a difference in DD's behavior. She just seems to enjoy reading the book and looking for "Tuck" in the morning.

I agree! I will not rob my son the fun of Christmas. Of course he will learn what Christmas is really about when he gets older, but I have some great childhood xmas memories, and I want my son to have the same.

PunkyBooster · November 2012

I truly believe Santa is part of childhood. I understand some parents (such as a very religious friend of mine) choose not to do Santa, but instead focus on the 3 Wise Men and center Christmas around the birth of Jesus and the children get 3 gifts in representation of the 3 Wise Men, and I like that as well.

But Santa was a fun memory for me as a child and it's a tradition I very much want to pass onto DS.

We are doing Elf, but not the whole story. Elf is just here visiting for the month of December and he pops up here or there. Santa will take him back to the North Pole when he leaves on Christmas Eve.

Lins_n_Derek · November 2012

This is something I struggle with too. My son is 2 1/2. We let Santa be whatever he wants it to be. However big of a deal he makes about it is how we will follow. We don't play him up but we do talk to Deacon about him. When he is older we won't flat out lie to him. We will tell him Santa is whatever you beleive he is. I also have the letter saved that is floating around Pinterest about Santa to share with him.

We haven't started Elf on the Shelf because he enjoys his advent activities so much and I don't want to take away from that. The focus of our home is Jesus birth but we don't dismiss the Santa idea either.

Soap1 · November 2012

What are you talking about, I still believe in Santa!

Our whole family is full of adamant Santa believers (we are Elf fanatics too - that movie is FANTASTIC) and even now that my sisters and I are the ones putting presents under the tree, we still talk to each other about Santa as if he were real.

That makes us sound insane...

RMS112611 · January 2013

My parents never told me Santa was real, and I don't plan to with any of our kiddos. I'm not going to habitually lie to my child.

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Anyone else feel guilty about Santa/Elfs?

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