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Re-Intro and Explanation

starburst0928starburst0928
in TTC After a Loss

Hello again everyone! I made an intro back on November 8th or 9th (can't find it again, of course) explaining I was starting to TTC.  (CD6!)

Since then, I saw a post about baby pictures and stopped posting because I have a picture of my son Bradley as my avatar. I thought I'd be fine just lurking, but now I want to post. I also don't yet have the heart to take down Bradley but in no way do I want to hurt other TTCAL buddies.

A fellow TTCALer suggested I explain him to see if it would make people more okay with me keeping it before I take it down once and for all or just not post.

I had a very uneventful pregnancy up until the very end. Bradley didn't want to come out, so after one last prenatal appointment on September 26th I was scheduled to be induced on September 28th (I was 41 weeks exactly). The night before my induction I felt decreased movement, but he was still moving as I was going to bed and I didn't even think something could be wrong... 7 AM in L&D as my induction was starting, the nurses couldn't find a HB and my OB confirmed via ultrasound he had passed away. He was my first pregnancy. We bought him his very own plot, and he is buried about 2 miles away from where we live. We visit him almost daily. Today he would have been 2 months old. 

If my avatar upsets you guys still, I understand. Just let me know the truth. I may or may not take it down vs just not post. It seems so silly to not want to change his picture out, but he is my little boy and I don't know if I can stomach it yet. Maybe I can make it a picture of his cute little feet?

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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Re: Re-Intro and Explanation

  • dandywarholdandywarhol member
    I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. {{hugs}}  I don't mind your avatar. I have a pic of my daughter's feet as my avatar on another message board and it has been over a year since we lost her and I still can't/don't want to change the picture.
    BFP #1 - Missed M/C, D&C 3.21.11

    BFP #2 - Sylvie V. Q. born and died on 10.28.11 at 21w. Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    BFP #3 - Evie V. Q. Fetal demise @ 16w. DC 7.8.12
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    BFP  #4 - Beatrix V. Q. Born 6.2.13 at 23w6d.
    image

     My blog My chart
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  • fluttergirlmoonchild79fluttergirlmoonchild79 member
    Hey there sweetie!  I'm personally fine with it - but then again my son is in my avatar too.  Didn't think about the fact that it might offend people.

     

    In memory of Corbin Scott 10/28/11-12/3/11. Heaven got another angel the night you left this world behind Heaven got a little better the day it took you away from me Missing you tonight, see you again sometime For now I'll close my eyes and dream of heaven tonight I'll love you forever I'll like you for always Now and Forever My baby you'll be

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

     

     

    corbinsmommy.blogspot.com


     

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  • Laurakat81Laurakat81 member

    Please do NOT take down your picture of Bradley!!! If anyone here has an issue with your beautiful boy then I think they need to go. He's beautiful and if you can't show him off here, in this support group, then we're completely failing.

    Welcome back. ((((BIG HUGS))))

     


    [spoiler] My Blog: Grow Baby Grow

    BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010

    BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)

    3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!

    Betas: 9dp5dt: 64 ~14dp5dt: 91 (expecting miscarriage, doubling time of 236 hours) ~16dp5dt: 200~18dp5dt: 500

    First Ultrasound at 6w2d revealed two sacs, only one with a heartbeat

    LK arrived after 42 weeks on August 14, 2013! Beautiful, healthy, and happy!

    TTC#2: IVF booked for April 2015

    Surprise BFP#5 February 19, 2015 EDD: November 2, 2015

    Betas: 10dpo: 10, 14dpo: 77, 17dpo: 270

    First Ultrasound at 5w1d showed a miracle UTE baby! And right ovary ovulation to left fallopian tube.

    JD arrived at 38 weeks on October 20, 2015.

    TTC #3: Since October 2017. BFP #6 July 2, 2018 EDD: March 16, 2019 [/spoiler]


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  • GavinRonansMomGavinRonansMom member

    I am so sorry...words cannot explain the emotion I feel. I was only 19w 3d and I am overwhemled with my loss...

    I would not take the picture down...I will say it is hard for me to see, but ONLY because I have a deep sense of loss and sadness for you. And I do think that you should keep it up.

    image Noah Michael, born sleeping 9/29/12 at 19w 3d. We love you forever Little Man! image
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BFP: 2/4/13 EDD: 10/11/13
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Patiently waiting for Buggirl to join me!!
    Beta #1 11dpo:89 Progesterone:38.9 Beta #2 18dpo:1940
    HB seen at 6w HB 8w 5d 176bpm! Its a BOY!
    grow rainbow grow!!!!
    All Always Welcome!!
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  • katharine25katharine25 member
    imageLaurakat81:

    Please do NOT take down your picture of Bradley!!! If anyone here has an issue with your beautiful boy then I think they need to go. He's beautiful and if you can't show him off here, in this support group, then we're completely failing.

    Welcome back. ((((BIG HUGS))))

     

     

    This! A simple note explaining the picture in your siggy is all you need.  If anyone has a problem with it then, they deserve a flogging

    Married My Love on 6/18/2006
    BFP#1 10/1/2011. Our perfect little girl, Her heart stopped @ 12w1d. D&E 11/23/11
    BFP#2 3/13/12 Weird CP/Possible EP @ 6w0d
    BFP#3 5/28/12 CP @ 5w0d
    BFP/WTF#4 10/26/12 CP
    BFP#5 12/10/12 EDD 8/23/2013
    <3 Baby Boy Born 8/22/13 <3
     photo ellie.gifPhotobucket
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    image
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  • km_mdkm_md member
    I am so so sorry for the loss of your sweet boy. I can't imagine the pain you must have felt. Welcome to the board, posting will help you to get more support than if you just lurk and we don't know you're here. I am personally okay with your avatar picture. I think it is the big siggy pictures of happy, squishy living children that really upset people around here. I can't speak for everyone of course, but that is how I feel. 


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  • TLR813TLR813 member

    I'm so sorry for your loss!  That's heartbreaking!

    Thank you for asking about the avatar picture.  If it were a picture of a newborn who was still here I think it'd bother me, but unfortunately this little guy isn't around.  I could never and won't ask you to take the picture down.  He's adorable, and again I'm so sorry!

    BFP #1: 3/3/12, EDD: 11/11/12, Missed M/C: 4/3/12 @ 8 weeks 2 days, D&C: 4/6/12
    BFP #2: 6/29/12, EDD: 3/8/13, Natural M/C: 7/16/12 @ 6 weeks 2 days
    Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Hypothyroidism
    BFP #3: Kendall Grace, born 9/30/13
    BFP #4: 9/3/14, EDD: 5/16/15, Missed M/C: 10/6/14 @ 8 weeks 2 days, D&C: 10/8/14
    Never in our arms, forever in our hearts Follow Me on Pinterest
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  • lolee465lolee465 member

    It doesn't bother me one bit! I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy. ((hugs))

    Jillian Rose- born 8/26/12 at 24 weeks. "It broke my heart to lose you but you didn't go alone, for a part of me went with you, the day God took you home"
    I love you always, my beautiful girl.

    Hysteroscopy 3/1/13 Dx: Unicornuate uterus

    || <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com" style="font-size:smaller;" >Ovulation TrackeMy Ovulation Chart

    BFP 3/18/13- Please be our Rainbow, we love you so much already.

    6/4/13-Found out we're having a BOY!!

    10/30/13-He's here!! Happy Birthday, Ryan! We love you so much! xo

    Lilypie - (Bfmg)

     

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  • ravenclaw1ravenclaw1 member
    welcome... sorry for your loss :( please keep him up there
    BFP #1 - Mango - 6/11/12, EDD 2/22/12 Natural MC 7/15/12
    BFP #2 - Nacho - 10/14/12, EDD 6/20/13, MMC 8 weeks, D&C 11/16/12
    All testing shows both H and I are perfectly normal. Baby Nacho had triploidy. 
    Back to normal business December 2012
    BFP #3 - Froggy - 1/15/13, EDD 9/27/13 TEAM GREEN
    It's a girl! Alice - Born 9/20/13, 8lbs 2oz

    imageimage
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  • OttersBiteOttersBite

    Oh no, you leave that picture right where it is! 

    I'm so sorry for your loss, please keep posting, it really is a wonderful sort of 'therapy' to relate to others like we do here.  ((hugs))

    TTC since June 2011
    BFP #1 11/18/11 - m/c 12/24/11 blighted ovum - EDD 08/01/12
    BFP #2 08/04/12 - m/c 08/29/12 no answers - EDD 04/17/13
    BFP #3 10/01/12 - m/c 10/30/12 uniparental disomy - EDD 06/04/13
    BFP #4 04/12/13 - EDD 12/22/13  It's a GIRL!
    compound heterozygous MTHFR   -   All AL Welcome

    image   image
          image
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  • ZAngelZAngel member
    I'm so sorry for your loss Sad  The picture of your beautiful little boy doesn't bother me one bit. 
    BFP #1 (DS, 10/98), BFP #2 (DD, 10/09)
    BFP #3 -mm/c @ 7wks, discovered at 9wks, D&C 9/28
    BFP #4 5/29 EDD 2/9 - please be our rainbow
    imageimage
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
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  • LLPtobeLLPtobe member
    I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your precious Bradley. As PPs have expressed, please do not take his picture down. (((hugs)))

    July TTCAL Siggy Challenge - Favorite Children's Book
    Donkey-Donkey - Roger Duvoisin 1968 Vintage Childrens Book
    Surprise BFP 5/15/12, EDD 1/29/13, mm/c @ 8wks, discovered at 11wks, D&C 7/11/12
    AF finally arrived on Christmas after 167 days of waiting.
    TTA until January 2014
    Follow Me on Pinterestimageimage
    PGAL/PAL always welcome

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  • egsquaredegsquared member
    I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet boy. You should absolutely keep his picture up. Big hugs!!
    TTC #1 since 6/08. Cycle #6 - BFP 12/22/08, EDD 9/3/09, DD 8/14/09 at 37w1d
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    TTC #2 since 6/11
    me=36 - low AMH, DH=38
    BFP #2 - 8/31/11, EDD 5/10/12, M/C 9/23/11
    BFP #3 - 3/4/12, EDD 11/14/12, CP 3/11/12
    BFP #4 - 5/9/12, EDD 1/19/13, CP 5/11/12
    BFP #5 - 8/22/12, EDD 5/5/13, CP 8/24/12
    IVF#1 - January 2013 - EPP/Antagonist - 7R, 3M, 2F, 3dt of 2 8-cell embies
    BFP #6 - 2/3/13, EDD 10/15/13, DS 9/18/13 at 36w1d
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • Gatorsgirl731Gatorsgirl731 member
    I am so glad you did this and hope you continue to post.  There is so much support to be found here.  I am sorry you lost your boy.  He is beautiful, and please leave him up right where he belongs.



    image
    9/13/12 BFP 9/25/12 M/C at 6.5 weeks

     ***All AL'ers Welcome***

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  • BeccabbyBeccabby member
    imageLaurakat81:

    Please do NOT take down your picture of Bradley!!! If anyone here has an issue with your beautiful boy then I think they need to go. He's beautiful and if you can't show him off here, in this support group, then we're completely failing.

    Welcome back. ((((BIG HUGS))))

     

     

    Exactly this. Im so sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby boy. Dont remove that precious picture of your angel, keep posting. I hope your able to find some comfort through posting and reading posts. HUGS

    image
    Married my very own GI Joe May 2002
     
    BFP May 2002  NMC June 2002
    BFP September 2002 ID twins born April 2003 @ 35 weeks
    BFP September 2007 DD born May 2008
    BFP August 2012 MC October 2012
    BFP January 2012 DD October 2013
     
    I MISS MY TICKER :(

    image
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  • buggirl72buggirl72 member
    ((((hugs)))) I love your picture of your beautiful Bradley.

    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • hungryhippohungryhippo member
    imageLaurakat81:

    Please do NOT take down your picture of Bradley!!! If anyone here has an issue with your beautiful boy then I think they need to go. He's beautiful and if you can't show him off here, in this support group, then we're completely failing.

    Welcome back. ((((BIG HUGS))))

     

    This 100%. I'm so sorry for your loss. 

    TTC #1 since January 2011
    BFP#1 April 12, 2011, EDD December 24, 2011, strong heart beat at 7w3d, d&c at 10w6d
    BFP#2 Oct 24, 2011, natural miscarriage, EDD unknown
    After RPL testing my losses and subsequent infertility are considered unexplained.
    Cycle #22: Femara, TI, and progesterone = BFP!! 
    BFP#3 Dec 21, 2012. Beta #1 @14dpo = 134, progesterone 67.8. Beta #2 @ 17dpo = 664! Team green, EDD 9/1/13, healthy baby boy born 9/12/13!
    imageimage  My chart.


    Congratulations to the fabulous KGS2003! Her sweet boys are here! Grow boys grow!!!
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  • YorkieLove4YorkieLove4 member
    imageLaurakat81:

    Please do NOT take down your picture of Bradley!!! If anyone here has an issue with your beautiful boy then I think they need to go. He's beautiful and if you can't show him off here, in this support group, then we're completely failing.

    Welcome back. ((((BIG HUGS))))

     

    I agree completely.  Well said.

    3 MCs
    1 Rainbow Baby: Born 4/4/15
    BFP: 4/23/17  EDD 1/5/18
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  • madeinbrazilmadeinbrazil member
    I'm so deeply sorry for your loss. As everyone said, please don't take it diwn! ::: hugs:::
    imageimageimage

    Missing my May Bloom baby: BFP 09/16/12. EDD 05/25/13 m/c 10/09/12

    BFP#2 12/06/12 EDD 08/17/2013

    ~~PGAL/PAL Always Welcome!~~

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  • AnjaOAnjaO member
    I'm so sorry.

    BFP #1 8/14/10, DS born 4/30/11 
    BFP #2 9/30/12, M/C 10/23/12 
    BFP #3 12/16/12, CP 12/20/12 
    BFP #4 1/20/13, DD born 10/9/13
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • edgiaedgia member
    Bradley is beautiful and I believe you should keep his picture up. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I am so sorry that he is not here today. (((hugs)))
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  • SopranoMamaSopranoMama member

    I'm so sorry for your loss. What a terribly heartbreaking story. I had an early miscarriage, and I can't imagine how hard that must have been (must be) for you. 

    Please feel welcome here. I agree with Katharine, a small explanation in your signature will keep any questions at bay. I hope you find the support you need here. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    TTC#1 since May 2012 
    BFP#1 6/2/12 EDD 2/17/13 Natural M/C 6/19/12
    BFP#2 10/30/12 EDD 7/12/13 CP 11/2/12 
    BFP#3 11/29/12 EDD 8/10/13 CP 12/2/12 
    BFP#4 12/26/12 EDD 9/7/13 
    1/18/13 HB 140! GROW BABY GROW!

    Welcome to the world Little Girl! Born on her due date! September 8, 2013, 7lb 11.8oz, 19.5" long. 

    image image

    image image

    **PgAL/PAL welcome**
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  • heather52904heather52904 member
    I'm sorry for the loss of your sweet Bradley.  I am okay with his picture.

    TTC Since 8/2011
    BFP #1 5/13/12 * EDD 1/24/13 * MC at 7 wks 4 days on 6/11/12
    BFP #2 5/13/13 * Current EDD 1/23/14

    Baby N born 2/8/14


    imageimage

    Lilypie - (HD7B)

     

     

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  • amberproamberpro member
    Your story brought tears to my eyes.  He is beautiful.  
    image

    Lilypie - (JzKZ) Lilypie - (DgGJ)

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  • LunaBug924LunaBug924 member
    Welcome tp the board (again). I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine what you have been through. Your son is beautiful and I think he deserves to be memoralized in your avatar. Don't change it unless you want to. It says a lot about you to see how sensitive you are to other people's feelings. I hope you stick around and become more active. There is a lot of comfort and support you can gain from the wonderful ladies here.
    BFP#1 8/3/12~EDD 4/1/13~Natural M/C 9/1/12-9w6d 
    BFP#2 5/30/13~EDD 2/3/14~Confirmed CP 5/31/13
    7/12/13 Hysteroscopy & Lap Lysis of Adhesions
    1st Cycle on Clomid Aug '13: BFP#3 8/24/13~EDD 5/3/14
    Hoping Third Time's a Charm!!- IT'S A GIRL!!!! 
    KAYLIE MARIE IS HERE! BORN 5/4/14

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic 
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

    Lilypie - (nUwf)

    image 
    All AL-ers welcome in my posts! <3
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  • CaliforniaDream87CaliforniaDream87 member
    I'm so sorry about your Bradley.

    Please,please keep your picture up.

    HUGS
        DS born 8-16-2013
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    image
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  • LAMCH1980LAMCH1980 member
    I'm so terribly sorry for the loss of your sweet Bradley.  Keep that picture up there as long as you want to.  You deserve the opportunity to share his story and memorialize him however you'd like to. Welcome to the board and I'm glad that we are cycle buddies!
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers  
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    BFP #1 9/1999. DD Born 6/7/2000
    BFP #2 10/2011. EDD 7/11/12. MMC discovered 11/2/11. D&C 11/4/11.
    DX PCOS 10/2012.
    BFP#3 1/11/13. DS Born 9/17/2013
    BFP#4 9/30/17. Grow baby grow! 
    ~Everyone Welcome~
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  • JosiecatJosiecat member
    imageLaurakat81:

    Please do NOT take down your picture of Bradley!!! If anyone here has an issue with your beautiful boy then I think they need to go. He's beautiful and if you can't show him off here, in this support group, then we're completely failing.

    Welcome back. ((((BIG HUGS))))

     

    Agreed.

    I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine your pain. Please continue to post here and grieve, it has helped me overcome many a bad day. ((((hugs))))

    BFP #1 - chemical pregnancy, natural miscarriage at 7 weeks on 2/11/12 BFP #2 - u/s at 8 weeks showed a tiny fetal pole measuring at 6 weeks, heart rate slow at 94bpm. Natural miscarriage a few days later on 4/15/12 August 2012- Diagnosed with pancreatic divisum, September - ERCP w/stent placement. Fingers crossed this was the issue! Doc gave the go-ahead to start trying again. BFP #3 - Chemical pregnancy ending a few days after Thanksgiving 2012. Clearly my pancreas was not the issue. Doc told us to try one more time. BFP #4 - Chemical pregnancy ending in January 2013. Now I'm pissed. February- meeting with RE. Test results show I have a low egg reserve and DH has severely messed up sperm. Docs are quite confused as to how we're getting pregnant to begin with. Let the IVF games begin!! April - stim time!! 7R, 6F via ICSI, 5 made it to day 5, 3 look "good enough" to be sent for PGS testing. We are now the proud owners? Parents? Of 2 healthy frozen embryos. June - ugh. Lupron. So much Lupron. And Aygestin, and Estrogen, and Progesterone suppositories. Things are going in to my body every way possible! July 25- scheduled for our first FET. Aaand huge fail. All of the estrogen gave my pancreas a good old fashioned hissy fit. Long story short, moving on to gestational carrier.
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  • ac5008ac5008 member
    Please keep your photo of Bradley up, and please keep posting here. Every time I see his sweet face I will remember him and send T&P?s your way. I hope you know that you are surrounded by support here. Huge hugs to you. 

    Love is multiplied: DS #1: 1.5.99 ~ DS #2: 9.23.11 ~ DD 8.29.13

    m/c 11/12/12 - sleep tight baby bean.

    Bitty Baby #4, please stick around - we already love you so very much!

    Ultrasound 11/4 - TWO HEARTBEATS!!!

    BabyFruit Ticker

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  • TKtravelsTKtravels member

    I'm so sorry for your loss. 

    Bradley is beautiful, and I hope you will keep his photo as your avatar for as long as you want to.  

    And thank you for being so considerate.

    Lots of hugs to you! 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BFP #1 26May12 - EDD 27Jan13 - DX blighted ovum 12Jul12 - M/C 2Aug12 
    BFP #2 13Jan13 - EDD 22Sep13 - DD born 20Sep2013!
    BFP #3 23Jul15 - EDD 1Apr16 - 
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  • luciddreamer106luciddreamer106 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss and absolutely have no problem with you leaving the picture up of your little angel.
    Multiple TTCAL 1image
    image
     TTC #1 since March 2011 
    BFP #1: EDD 4/16/13~~blighted ovum w/ 2 gestational sacs~~Loss on 9/18/12
    BFP #2: EDD 9/3/13~~Slow HB at 1st U/S~~MMC -Loss on 2/13/13
    9/13, 10/13, 1/14: letrozole + trigger + TI = All BFNs
    3/14: IUI#1 letrozole/Bravelle/Menopur + trigger = BFN
    BFP #3: EDD 1/27/15 Please be our rainbow! ...Team Green


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