Need to vent!! PG mentioned (not mine)

rocant01 · November 2012

Okay so I have a friend who has already had one child (after trying for 1 month) and then decided to try for a second one and got pregnant right away. She actually found out she was prego 2 weeks after I did. Although, mine ended with another MC, she is still doing well. I really am happy for her buttttttt the "what if's" and "I should have" are really getting to me! I want to make sure that I am not rubbing the wrong way onto her but sometimes (most of the time) I don't want to hear about her pregnancy! Is this normal or am I just being a snob???

brockerln · November 2012

I think it's normal. I would explain to your friend that while you are very happy for your friend, you do not feel comfortable with her talking about her pregnancy. I had experienced something similar with my first m/c with a few friends, and they understood.

RedPhoenix625 · November 2012

You're welcome to vent here, but please put a pg warning in your title, as some of us may not feel up to reading about other people's pregnancies, just as you weren't up to hearing about hers.

Sorry that you're frustrated.

Gatorsgirl731 · November 2012

I understand you needing to vent. A lot of us do that. However, a warning in your title would have been great. Didn't need to hear about someones pregnancy tonight. She's not even my friend.

Welcome though check out the blog at the top of the board.

ravenclaw1 · November 2012

hi rocant. I think what you're feeling is normal.

I do have to say, though, if you're going to post here (which you're welcome to, as long as you're awesome), please take some time to familiarize yourself with our etiquette. If you're going to make a post like this, add a disclaimer in the title (baby or PG mentioned). These kinds of posts can be tough for people here to read who are struggling, and that way they know not to open them if they're in a good place.

also, if you do want to hang out here, give us an intro and let us know what your story is so we can get to know you and sympathize with you and what you're going through.

the women here are freaking awesome, but you have to play by the rules. check out the TTCAL blog- it's linked at the top of the forum.

rocant01 · November 2012

Sorry about not putting PG on the title! I didn't even think about it when I was stressing but TTC! I will be more cautious next time! Thanks for those who understand my frustrations!

GavinRonansMom · November 2012

I agree with all the ladies...

I am so sorry about you having to hear about your friends pregnancy, but just as it is hard for you, it is hard for many of us...hearing about a stranger getting pregnant right away is not helpful to me tonight. Please add a warning to your title.

katharine25 · November 2012

It's totally normal. One of my best friend's was 1 week before my first loss. Now she has a 6 month old, and I still can't look at her babies pictures without comparing. It's sucks. Welcome to After Loss

rocant01 · November 2012

Thanks! It's hard to always think about the "I should have..." phrases. I find myself thinking those a lot!

tombom · November 2012

I can absolutely relate, and I think this is a normal experience for those of us TTC, but (as you've seen in the previous posts), is particularly sensitive for TTCAL. My two GFs who were also having trouble conceiving (though neither have experienced losses) are now pregnant, and it's tough-- it's impossible to pretend that they don't have something that I want soooo badly, and so incredibly hard to hear the updates (particularly when they ask if it was like that for me), but it's also hard to feel like I'm being a good friend if I don't ask how things are going. The worst of all words, in other words. Hang in there.

km_md · November 2012

The "what if's" and the "shoulds" are completely normal - as sucky as they are. You feel guilty and horrible for feeling that way, which is also normal. There are many ups and downs with emotions after a loss. I am sorry that you are having a rough time.

mayonegg · November 2012

km_md:
The "what if's" and the "shoulds" are completely normal - as sucky as they are. You feel guilty and horrible for feeling that way, which is also normal. There are many ups and downs with emotions after a loss. I am sorry that you are having a rough time.

ditto this. ((hugs))

CaliforniaDream87 · November 2012

HUGS

it's normal to feel this way. I'm sorry you're having a tough time.

DCWJes · November 2012

Its completely normal. I have been there and done that. It gets easier, maybe not for a long time though. *hugs*

ac5008 · November 2012

It's very normal. I ended up pregnant the same time as a very close friend. Needless to say, she still is and I'm very much not. I hid her from my newsfeed because I just can't do the constant reminders.

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