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Helping SKs w/Christmas gift

HopeforthebestHopeforthebest member
in Blended Families

Right or Wrong BM and DH do not do gifts "from the kids" for each other. Another words BM doesn't take the kids shopping for their daddy and therefore DH doesn't take the kids shopping for their mommy at Christmas. The kids have never asked DH and I assume they have not asked her either.

We are long distance. We get the kids the 1st half of Christmas this year.

The nanny/sitter they've had since BM up and moved out of state is a young early 20's girl. We have never officially met her but she has facsilitated Skype on Sunday night when BM isn't home on many occasions. So we've seen her, have her contact info, etc.

She is SO much better at Skype than BM. She helps the kids and keeps the t.v. off and other distractions at bay during Skype. We really appreciate this more than she will ever know.

Would it be inappropriate to have the kid's get or make something for Christmas for her when we have them this year to take back? It would be "from" the kids.

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Re: Helping SKs w/Christmas gift

  • cole2144cole2144 member
    I would, it is a sweet gesture.
    No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
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  • Holly_1007Holly_1007 member

    hmm I would be nervous that would step on BM's toes...

    I would have the kids MAKE her something from them,

    and then if you want to get her a giftcard or something from you and H that would be okay, but I would NOT have the kids buy her a gift.  

                           
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  • WWMSWWMS
    As the BM I'm not sure how I would feel if LO's father purchased a gift for his babysitter. I try to put a lot of effort into getting her a gift from LO that she will enjoy and has some type of significance. Lo's father only met her once so it would seem like he is trying to show me up.

    A handmade gift from LO would be nice or maybe something simple like chocolate or cookies.
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  • cole2144cole2144 member

    imageWWMS:
    As the BM I'm not sure how I would feel if LO's father purchased a gift for his babysitter. I try to put a lot of effort into getting her a gift from LO that she will enjoy and has some type of significance. Lo's father only met her once so it would seem like he is trying to show me up. A handmade gift from LO would be nice or maybe something simple like chocolate or cookies.

    He should be able to give a gift to someone who cares for his children whether he met her once, 100x or not at all. The last part in bold is really ridiculous!

    No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
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  • WWMSWWMS
    imagecole2144:

    imageWWMS:
    As the BM I'm not sure how I would feel if LO's father purchased a gift for his babysitter. I try to put a lot of effort into getting her a gift from LO that she will enjoy and has some type of significance. Lo's father only met her once so it would seem like he is trying to show me up.

    A handmade gift from LO would be nice or maybe something simple like chocolate or cookies.

    He should be able to give a gift to someone who cares for his children whether he met her once, 100x or not at all. The last part in bold is really ridiculous!



    Except you don't know my son's father. And don't tell me that there aren't both fathers and mothers that do this, not only with their children but other people too.
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  • twister22twister22 member
    Personally, I would have the kids make her something. Then, you and DH can buy her a gift card and give her a Merry Christmas card that you mail to her from you, DH, and the SKs.
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  • PhantomgirlPhantomgirl member

    If your intentions are good then do it.  Who cares what BM 'thinks'. 

    Don't let other peoples negativity rule your life.

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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    imageholly71087:
    hmm I would be nervous that would step on BM's toes...I would have the kids MAKE her something from them,and then if you want to get her a giftcard or something from you and H that would be okay, but I would NOT have the kids buy her a gift. nbsp;

    This. Make it from you and DH and directly to her, not through a kid where you will not know if she gets it. Do you have her address?
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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