Community› The Bump Message Boards› Attachment Parenting
Attachment Parenting
New Discussion

s/o tantrums

Amaryllis619Amaryllis619
in Attachment Parenting

I read the thread below regarding tantrums, and I was curious how you AP gals handle them for your toddlers?  My DD1 is almost two and she has started to throw big tantrums if she doesn't get what she wants.

I try to redirect her, or just ignore the behavior, but sometimes she kicks and screams and throws herself to the floor.  i don't want her to hurt herself, but i know she also needs to learn that she can't always have what she wants, especially with baby #2 almost here, she needs to learn a little patience and I'm wondering what i can impliment now to help her with this transition....

TIA

<a href="http://s1177.photobucket.com/albums/x358/cassoppea/?action=view
Report Reply to Post

Re: s/o tantrums

  • KateLouiseKateLouise member

    My LO responds really to being acknowledged and cuddles. Ignoring her tantrums just ends up with her winding herself up into a sobbing mess.

    So I generally say, "come here and be cuddled." then while we're cuddling, "I know you're upset  because x, y and z....it's disappointing when we can't..." if I can give her an easily explained reason eg you can't touch that because you could get hurt, then I throw that in.

    Then I try and give her some control back eg. "would you like Mum to keep cuddling you or would you like to have some quiet time by yourself?" "You can't play with that toy but I can read you a book, would you like to choose the book." 

    image
    Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
    image


    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • jday1229jday1229
    I think it really depends on the child. DS lashes out in a tantrum (scratching, hitting, kicking) and has to be alone to calm down. I put him in his room with the gate up. As soon as he has no audience or target for his frustration he's fine in 2-3 minutes.
    Gabriel :: Born on his due date - 9/19/09 :: 9lb 8oz, 21"Birth Storysig4 copyBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • jsillyfunjsillyfun member
    My baby is too young still for tantrums, but I loved the book Positive Discipline for Preschoolers. It has lots of great suggestions (and I hope they work!).
    image
    Report Reply
  • Amaryllis619Amaryllis619
    thanks gals, i'll look into the positive discipline book as well.   i just get so frustrated especially when we're out because she'll throw herself to the ground and start screaming... not really a good time to try and discuss anything with her.  afterwards when she's just crying i'll cuddle with her and talk with her about what she's feeling... although most of the time it's simply that she didn't get her way and she's mad. so really not sure how to handle that, and like i said i've got her sister on the way in the next few weeks, so i want to try and teach her some patience.... i guess it just comes with the territory for this age group.
    <a href="http://s1177.photobucket.com/albums/x358/cassoppea/?action=view
    Report Reply
  • jday1229jday1229

    imagejday1229:
    I think it really depends on the child. DS lashes out in a tantrum (scratching, hitting, kicking) and has to be alone to calm down. I put him in his room with the gate up. As soon as he has no audience or target for his frustration he's fine in 2-3 minutes.

    I read my own post and it sounds harsh because I didn't really give the whole picture. I guess I should add we talk about the situation as feeling etc after the fact, but the heat of the moment he has to be separated because he's too physical and can't calm down when the object of his frustration (usually me) is within reach. It took a lot of trial and error and there was a lot of "wanting" the cuddle approach to work because , but in the end it comes down to the individual child.

    Gabriel :: Born on his due date - 9/19/09 :: 9lb 8oz, 21"Birth Storysig4 copyBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • PayolaCrayolaPayolaCrayola

    DD is 18mo and she has pretty terrible tantrums. She also throws herself on the floor...she used to throw herself backwards which freaked me out but now she sort of goes on her knees first then flat on her belly and puts her head down and kicks..it is def embarassing in public. She also does this crazy high pitched scream which i swear only dogs can hear lol I used to get frustrated and upset but then i just sort of learned to say "Ok Soph you can be mad...i know its upsetting and im sorry but youll be ok" and i let her be. It helped TREMENDOUSLY. They last like a minute now when before if i reacted in any way she would just go ono and on. GL!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers imageimage
    Report Reply
  • katiewhompuskatiewhompus member
    When she is going nuts I will say " okay, tell me why you are upset" and make noises like I am listening ( which I am, but her explanation is usually garbled sounds). Once she calms down she comes for a hug and  I will try to name the emotion, acknowledge her frustration, tell her why she couldn't do/ have it, etc.

    House / Baby blog

    image

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker>

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"