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February 2012 Moms
Lena122
member
Who is being unreasonable?
Lena122
member
My mom has run her own licensed, certified inhome daycare for about 15 years. Munchkin has attended her daycare parttime since he was about 3 months old. During a normal week he's there for about 20 hours a week but some weeks it might only be for 3 to 4 hours total depending on our work schedules. However, on the days he does attend he usually stays passed her closing time which is 430. Some nights I don't pick him up until 7. She doesn't charge us for our late pickup like she would charge other parents but she does charge us her normal infant rate which is 175 per week for every week of the year.
DH thinks its ridiculous that my mother charges us full price for daycare. Partly because she's my mom and Munchkin's grandmother and partly because he doesn't attend full time. I think DH is being ridiculous because we would be expected to pay full price at pretty much any other daycare center/in home even for parttime care AND we'd have to pay late fees.
What say you Feb mamas?
DH thinks its ridiculous that my mother charges us full price for daycare. Partly because she's my mom and Munchkin's grandmother and partly because he doesn't attend full time. I think DH is being ridiculous because we would be expected to pay full price at pretty much any other daycare center/in home even for parttime care AND we'd have to pay late fees.
What say you Feb mamas?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Who is being unreasonable?
While I would find it odd that she would charge you full price, I would not be upset. She is running a business and that spot could be filled by another child. She is already losing money by not charging you late charges. You are also paying for the convenience and peace of mind of him being with someone that you know and trust impeccably. She is his grandmother, she doesn't have to watch him at all. Its kind of rude, in my opinion, to expect a big discount because its your family.
This. It's not like she can take in another child to make up what she wasn't charging you all (if she didn't charge). Due to ratios (since she's licensed and certified) there is a max number of spaces available. Your baby takes up one of those spaces, therefore it isn't unreasonable for you to pay the rate.
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Yes he takes up a spot regardless of how long he is there for.
To play devil's advocate: if your parents owned a grocery store, would you expect them to give you $100+ in free groceries every week?
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I understand this perspective however my mom isn't just babysitting as a hobby or for fun. She runs a daycare to make a living. I assume that when you're mom retires she'll be getting some sort of pension as her income? My mom's only source of income is what her daycare parents pay her.
This is sort of my DH's argument. He says that if we had a family member who was a mechanic we wouldn't expect to pay full price for them to service our car if we had an issue. My counter argument was that we wouldn't be getting that service every single week. It'd be a one time discount for a service that wouldn't make a huge dent in their yearly salary.
Since your LO takes up a spot, I can understand her charging you. I didn't realize that he takes away from another paying child (An oversight on my part). I guess I still find it strange that she charges you full price, even when you're there part time. If you can afford it, and it works for you guys, then that's all that matters. You LO is in a loving, caring environment which is all that matters!
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Her mom is not retired. Watching children is her livelihood.
I think she is giving you a big break by not charging late fees, and $175 for basically on-demand extended hours daycare by a person who you trust more than just about anyone in the world is an incredible deal.
I actually don't find it odd that she is charging you. She has a well-established business, and relies upon that business for her monthly income. Since she guarantees Munchkin a spot whenever he needs to be in her care, she can't take on another kid part time or make up any "lost money" that she would be giving to you in the form of a discount.
If your husband is unhappy with paying $175/week (which, compared to most places, is pretty low, at least around here!), then he can spend his own time trying to find a "better deal" at another location. If he can find another place that is cheaper, offers the extended hours you need on an as-needed basis, provides the same level of safety, and another caretaker who will treat your son like their own personal grandson (doubtful!), then you can take a look at possibly switching.
Until he finds a place like that, however, it is pointless to complain and whine about what is actually a really great deal and the only option that works for your family right now.
The problem here is the expectation of a discount. It shouldn't be expected. It should just be appreciated IF it is offered.
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Thank you! That is exactly what I told him!
Agreed. I appreciate all your responses! DH insisted that anyone else would think it absurd that we don't get a discount. I won't be telling him I asked you all, because that'd probably make him more mad, but I'm glad I'm not the delusional one here.
Your hubby is unreasonable. I agree that you guys are getting a great deal even when you do pay, plus you have that bonus of not being charged for the late evenings.
I doubt you could find such a deal elsewhere and I agree that your LO taking the space reduces other available income she could have were you not paying.
This. :0]
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This. Obviously if she didn't need the money she wouldn't charge you.
I agree with all of this.
And what if the choice was between your mom watch her or work a part-time job so that she could pay her bills and you had to put your LO in daycare?
My mom and sister watched the girls from 3-7 months. We paid my sister $150/week (for both of them) and my mom wouldn't take money. Now my mom watches them two days a week and still won't take money and they're in daycare 3 days a week. However, my parents are in a good financial position and she wasn't working anyway.
On the other hand, when it didn't work out with having the girls at my mom's full-time we considered having my MIL watch them. However, even though my MIL wanted to watch them she needs her income, and more importantly, needs to show her income on taxes for financial reasons, so we would have had to pay her on the books and pay taxes. Matching her salary and paying taxes would have cost us way more then we pay for daycare. Is my MIL a bad grandmother because she couldn't afford to not have her income? Of course not!
It's wonderful that your mom will watch your LO for free and that my mom does it part-time but I certainly don't judge grandparents who's financial situation doesn't allow that. Lena, if your mom needs the money and your H is judging her that would make me furious.
She IS giving you a discount, in the form of not charging you for late pick ups. I know of daycares in my area that charge a dollar per minute past a certain time.
At $175 a week, I could afford to go back to work. I would love to have situation like yours.
If she was watching your LO in more of a SAHM (just her and the baby) setting then I would say it was odd for her to charge you. That would be because she could just go about her daily life with your baby in tow.
But, because it is her business I get why she has to charge you. Your DH should understand that you guys are SO lucky to have your LO in a setting where the daycare provider loves your child and would essentially die for your baby. That is a daycare dream, free or not.
I think the deal you have going with your mom is pretty darn sweet, and I would challenge your husband to find someone better suited to watch your child, during the hours y'all require childcare, at a better price.
If a family member offered to watch my child on a regular basis without compensation, that'd be great! But I'd never EXPECT them to do so for free. Besides, the fact that your mother earns a living with in-home childcare changes the situation completely -- Munchkin is taking up a spot and giving you that spot for free would decrease her income.
This is an excellent point. I would go back to him with his mechanic scenario. How would he feel if he owned his own car shop and family members were bringing in cars every single day and taking up his time to fix problems and a bay in the garage and he had to turn away business because of it. His comparison is comparing apples and oranges if you needed your mom once in a while like a few times a month I'm sure she wouldn't charge you. That's like having a mechanic relative who you call on occasion and expect to just pay for parts. Especially due to your erratic hours your LO takes up a full spot, which isn't at all equal to calling on a mechani relative once in a while.
I 100% agree with you. Your husband is being unreasonable. Your mom IS giving you a discount by not charging you an extra hours charge. Our daycare charges $1 per MINUTE if we pick up late (after closing time).
This is your mom's business. Your child is taking up a spot in the daycare, and you should have to pay as much as any other parent.
The only part I found strange was that your mom doesn't have "part time" rates but then I realized that my DCP is in the minority there (of the 7 we interviewed she was the only one who offered PT rates).
So yeah, not unreasonable by any means!