Hiding

brihall003 · November 2012

I took the day off today solely to hide from my coworkers who will undoubtedly be delightfully babbling about the pg announcement of one of the teachers yesterday. I literally feel like a little kid trying to hide from the boogie monster.

On a similar note, DH and my therapist keep telling me that I have to find a way to be comfortable around pregnant women and to be happy for them rather than jealous. I just say that I wish it were that easy.

This.flucking.sucks.

Rachaeleigh · November 2012

Yeah, IN TIME you need to find a way to be comfortable....maybe. But you're absolutely allowed to take however you need, grieve however you want, etc. I'm glad you took a day for yourself

mayonegg · November 2012

So sorry hon. My family says the same thing

So annoying - I flipped out over Thanksgiving and told them that "I KNOW that, do you think I don't KNOW that??? Just because I KNOW it doesn't mean I'm there yet!!!!" Take your time, and I'm glad that you stayed home - I look at it like this - You don't want to rain on her parade and be a douche, so staying away is REALLY you being nice!

jenn0021 · November 2012

I'm sorry that your DH and therapist are trying to push you to feel comfortable before you are ready. It takes time, and even then it will never completely leave. It's been almost 2 years since my last loss and some days I can handle being around pregnant women and then other days I completely lose it. We all grieve differently and handle things differently. So don't be too hard on yourself.

I think it's fine that you took the day off. Hopefully you're doing something fun!

Kristintific · November 2012

I think it's perfectly fine if you dont feel comfortable with it. It's going to take time, so be gentle with yourself and don't force it. When you're ready, and you'll know when you're ready, you'll be okay with other pregnant people.

I've realized that while I still don't LOVE seeing other people pregnant, I can still pretend to be happy and in time I'll get past it.

Some people just don't get it, and never will. I think for now, vent to us, or other people who have had a similar situation happen to them.

Your feelings are NEVER wrong. Don't let them make you feel wrong for having those feelings. Now if you lashed out and went and punched a pregnant lady, that would be wrong. But it's okay to not be 1000% happy in your head about it.

Yeah it still sucks though. Take your time. You will heal. You will never forget, but as time goes by the stinging pain will become less and less.

km_md · November 2012

I'm sorry ((hugs)) But I'm glad you were able to take the day off. People always tell you to just get over it, and it is so easy to do when you have never been in a situation like this. In time things become easier, but you can't just snap your fingers and be okay with seeing pg women everywhere.

LAMCH1980 · November 2012

Good for you for taking the day off. They give you "pesonal" days like that for whatever you need them for whether it's being sick or just needing a day off! There's no guilt in that. I'm sorry you feel like you are being pushed into feeling a certain way. That would just make me angry. ((hugs))

LLPtobe · November 2012

I'm sorry hon. I'm surprised that your therapist said that. They should be trying to find ways to help you get to that point, not just saying 'you need to figure it out'. (((hugs)))

Shanpan4 · November 2012

LLPtobe:
I'm sorry hon. I'm surprised that your therapist said that. They should be trying to find ways to help you get to that point, not just saying 'you need to figure it out'. hugs

This exactly. Grief is not something that goes away over night. It takes time. Hugs

nbcarlson · November 2012

I totally understand how you feel! I am the same way. I don't think that people who have never been through a loss themselves can understand what it feels like and how long it takes to get over it. I honestly don't ever see myself not being sad that I lost this child. And whenever I see a pregnant woman I just look away because I get so jealous. I hope that I can get over being jealous in time, but really I feel like I won't until I have my own take home baby.

silverbells3562 · November 2012

I completely understand. I'm struggling to even act happy for pregnant friends. Being around them is a constant reminder to me of where I "should" be and I feel like this is a totally normal feeling. That doesn't mean that you can't be happy for the person inside, it's just difficult to summon the outward excitement and watch people swoon over someone else when all you can think is "that should be me."

It can feel shameful at times, but it's not abnormal... just know you're not alone Hugs.

Want a personalized experience?

Hiding

Re: Hiding

Choose Another Board

Search Boards