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August 2012 Moms
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Marrying/dating for money

NormaJean332NormaJean332
in August 2012 Moms

Good morning girls.  I'm using an AE because I don't want anyone to know who I am.  And no, this is not MUD.  I'm really just hoping for some advice.

I'm dating a professional athlete (I didn't know this when we first met).  He gave me an "early christmas present" over the weekend- a 2013 Range Rover.  

Prior to this, my friends and family wouldn't stop saying, oh you're dating him for money.  Now, its even worse.  I'm not dating him because he's famous.  I had no idea who he was when we met.  He's a regular guy to me, he just happens to be an athlete and be wealthy.

I don't know how to get my family to stop saying this.  Especially now that I have a son, I don't want him to hear these hurtful things- when he gets older obviously.

Any advice/similar situations are appreciated.

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Re: Marrying/dating for money

  • bigbootyjudibigbootyjudi member
    If you weren't in it for the money, I wouldn't have accepted such an expensive gift, really. Maybe its just how I was raised, but I wouldn't accept a 40,000 dollar gift from anyone, regardless of how much money they made.

    As for your family and friends, it'll die down as your son gets older and they realize that you're in it for more. Nothing you say will convince them, more than likely, you'll just have to wait it out.

    I hope this isn't MUD...only because it would be lame MUD. When I want MUD, I want it to be good!
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  • CGorgzCGorgz
    My opinion is that it's not about anyone but him and you. The way you feel about him has nothing to do with anyone else. As long as you know your intentions are in the right place and so does he, then it really isn't anyone else's place to say anything. I'd say to keep focused on your LO and your man because someone will ALWAYS have something to say whether it be jealousy or what. If your heart is happy and not from the money, then you go girl!
    ETA: when it comes to your son, I hope your family would be mature enough to keep that business away from him.
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  • beckyfarrellybeckyfarrelly member
    imageanbeck4:
    If you weren't in it for the money, I wouldn't have accepted such an expensive gift, really. Maybe its just how I was raised, but I wouldn't accept a 40,000 dollar gift from anyone, regardless of how much money they made. As for your family and friends, it'll die down as your son gets older and they realize that you're in it for more. Nothing you say will convince them, more than likely, you'll just have to wait it out. I hope this isn't MUD...only because it would be lame MUD. When I want MUD, I want it to be good!

    100% agree with this
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  • twoitalianstwoitalians member
    I would have loved to date a professional athlete! I always dreamed I would have met one randomly and then found out he was a pro, like you said happened with you. Lucky you!

    As for your family, like everyone else has said, they will probably always feel the way they do and maybe over time those feelings will subside. It's unfortunate but just continue to act like you do with your SO and maybe eventually they will see that you aren't in it for money. It's hard for most people to get past the money issue so don't feel bad if it takes them awhile.
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  • sdlaurasdlaura member

    Eh, people marry or date for a lot of different reasons, and if you don't make a huge deal out of the money thing, and don't act insecure about it, then your family won't make as big a deal out of it.

    I have a relative who married a guy who makes several million a year, so more than most pro athletes, and I feel bad for her sometimes because I feel like she's a little at a loss for what to do with her life other than have kids.  She keeps changing her mind about getting a grad degree, working PT, etc., since they have full time nannies even though she doesn't work outside the home.  It's like money has given her too much flexibility.  

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  • CoUnTryBB1CoUnTryBB1 member

    imagemeredithcole:
    How long have you been with him? How long were you together before you got pregnant? If you haven't been together long or you got ku shortly after starting dating I can see how people would think that you're only in it for the money, bc some BSC women trap men that way. If you've been together for years and/or this baby was planned, then your family just needs to stfu. I think they could be jealous of your happiness and are saying cruel things bc he just happens to be a pro athlete and wealthy. Who cares what kind of gifts he gives you? As long as you are happy with your relationship, it doesn't matter what other people think. And now I'm super curious to know who your SO is! Spill the beans, especially since you're using an AE!

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  • phq2011phq2011
    imageCoUnTryBB1:

    imagemeredithcole:
    How long have you been with him? How long were you together before you got pregnant? If you haven't been together long or you got ku shortly after starting dating I can see how people would think that you're only in it for the money, bc some BSC women trap men that way. If you've been together for years and/or this baby was planned, then your family just needs to stfu. I think they could be jealous of your happiness and are saying cruel things bc he just happens to be a pro athlete and wealthy. Who cares what kind of gifts he gives you? As long as you are happy with your relationship, it doesn't matter what other people think. And now I'm super curious to know who your SO is! Spill the beans, especially since you're using an AE!

    this

    However, wouldn't her AE be blown if we knew who she was dating. (paparazzi pics and all) 

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  • AggieDanerAggieDaner member

    imagestephaniemthomas:
    I'd just tell them to eff off.  It's really none of their business why you're with your SO.  People will talk and I think that just comes with dating someone with the stature of your SO. Hopefully the longer you're together, the more they'll come to realize that you two love each other and it has nothing to do with how much money he makes. 

    This. F*ck 'em. The more you acknowledge their bullshiit the more they'll think they're right. When they start to mouth off just roll your eyes and recite MC Hammer lyrics until they shut up. Or, you know, change your ringtone to "Gold Digger" and tell them you don't associate with commonfolk anymore.

    PS: BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!  


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  • klmcguireklmcguire member

    You will never be able to convince your family what you would like too. Family always are the first to judge. All you can do is show your love for SO and tell your family to get the f back!!!

    STFU (GIF)

    And maybe I am the only gold digging BIAAAA around here but I would be driving that Range Rover ALL OVER TOWN!!!! WOOOO HOOOO!!

    ETA to say: Just call it a push present! Everyone has been bragging about theirs lately!! Yours is just bigger and better! You did carry his child for 9 months :)

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  • LindsayDesignerLindsayDesigner member
    imagephq2011:

    However, wouldn't her AE be blown if we knew who she was dating. (paparazzi pics and all



    Yeeeeaaahhhh, I doubt it. How many pro athletes really have paparazzi following them? Not that many. This whole thing reminds me of when girls go on reality show and day they were involved with a famous pro athlete and it turns out to be someone who is only regionally famous.

    As far as advice? You didn't really give us much background. Are you living together? Was it an exclusive relationship prior to your pregnancy? Are you and your athlete parenting together?

    Actions speak louder than words, if you want your family to believe you are a committed couple, act like it!

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  • CoUnTryBB1CoUnTryBB1 member
    imageLucyD1029:
    imageklmcguire:

    You will never be able to convince your family what you would like too. Family always are the first to judge. All you can do is show your love for SO and tell your family to get the f back!!!

    And maybe I am the only gold digging BIAAAA around here but I would be driving that Range Rover ALL OVER TOWN!!!! WOOOO HOOOO!!

    Seriously.  If DH had the means to buy me an $80,000 vehicle for Christmas, I sure as hell wouldn't stop him.  Of course, he'd run it by me first (we vowed never to surprise each other with cars). 

    OP, since you have a baby together and I'm assuming you're living together, you're more than just "dating".  If you truly are in it for love and not money, then it will become obvious to your family.  In the meantime, ignore them.

    maybe I am slow this am but is SO the father or did you start dating him after your son?   I was assuming that he is.  

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  • klmcguireklmcguire member

    imagekikimo327:
    imageanbeck4:
    If you weren't in it for the money, I wouldn't have accepted such an expensive gift, really. Maybe its just how I was raised, but I wouldn't accept a 40,000 dollar gift from anyone, regardless of how much money they made. !
    That is such crap! If my husband could afford such a present, I would take it in a heartbeat. Jewelry too! NormaJean, enjoy it and ignore the haters!

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  • nicnac817nicnac817 member

    I'd tell them to shove it!  Hating on you cause you got a man with Cha-Ching.....  I'd drive the sh!t outta that car. BOOM B!tches.

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  • RhomonkRhomonk member

    imagekikimo327:
    I feel like this post needs a Nene Leakes bloop bloop gif. I'm on mobile so if anyone could help me out...

     

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  • merricksmommerricksmom member
    Your relationship is your business. End of story.  And you can bet your ass I would be driving that Range Rover.  If the gift is proportionate to his income, I don't see the problem here. 
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  • babyikebabyike member
    imageLucyD1029:
    imageCoUnTryBB1:
    imageLucyD1029:
    imageklmcguire:

    You will never be able to convince your family what you would like too. Family always are the first to judge. All you can do is show your love for SO and tell your family to get the f back!!!

    And maybe I am the only gold digging BIAAAA around here but I would be driving that Range Rover ALL OVER TOWN!!!! WOOOO HOOOO!!

    Seriously.  If DH had the means to buy me an $80,000 vehicle for Christmas, I sure as hell wouldn't stop him.  Of course, he'd run it by me first (we vowed never to surprise each other with cars). 

    OP, since you have a baby together and I'm assuming you're living together, you're more than just "dating".  If you truly are in it for love and not money, then it will become obvious to your family.  In the meantime, ignore them.

    maybe I am slow this am but is SO the father or did you start dating him after your son?   I was assuming that he is.  

    I'm assuming he's the dad.  If he isn't, then I change my answer!

    Alllllllll of this Yes 

    ~Sweet Girl *8/18/08* c-section ~ Sweet Boy *12/2/10* VBAC ~ Sweet Boy *8/14/12* VBAC~ 

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