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hlyle829
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First Time Dad-to-Be acting CRAZY!
hlyle829
member
My boyfriend and I unexpectadly got pregnant (we are both 31 and have good jobs; we live together and were planning on getting engaged sometime this year). Ever since I told him I was pregnant he's been picking fights with me, talking to me about "maybe we should break up..." and just in general not acting like himself. He is a wonderful man but he is also very anxiety-ridden and a bit of an extremist when it comes to relationships (whenever we fight, even over something small, he goes straight to breaking up and is fine two days later, we say he has PMS for men) We decided we weren't going to tell too many people yet, as I am only between 5 and 7 weeks pregnant but I feel like maybe he should talk to someone about it because he's obviously not handling it well and his moods are bringing me down and starting to question our relationship. HELP!!! Im trying to be/get excited about the prospect of this bundle of joy growing inside of me but he's starting to not only ruin that but make me very uneasy about my living situation (I moved into his house).
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Re: First Time Dad-to-Be acting CRAZY!
And you are shocked that this man is acting a little out of sorts?? Anytime unexpectedly and pregnant are used in the same sentence, things are going to get a little CRAZY!
Agreed. If this was a completely unplanned pregnancy, and most specifically, if precautions were being used to prevent a pregnancy, the shock (I can only imagine) would be pretty insane.
It is a big jump to go from "planning on getting engaged" to starting a family together. You said yourself, he overreacts and flies off the handle at things... this is quite possibly the biggest of things, knowing him and his tendencies, this should have been somewhat anticipated.
He's probably in shock, again, especially if preventative measures were taken... if not, then you were playing with fire to start with. But he probably got his with all the anxiety and pressure that comes with being hit with it... does he make enough money? is he going to be a good dad? is he ready? Did he react well to it... doesn't sound like it... but from what you said in your post, it sounds like his typical response.
You are likely going to need to give him time to process the information, calm down and put his big boy pants back on. To be honest, it probably won't feel real to him until he sees the first ultrasound, or maybe even the baby move inside you for the first time.
Follow-up question:
BC: Were you using it? What was the method? Condoms? The Pill? This is an important piece of information because frankly if you were on the pill and "magically" get pregnant, it's not totally insane for a guy to question how it happened.
Wow...I have to say...all this sounds VERY familiar. My boyfriend has had a very difficult time adjusting to our unexpected surprise. (I am 24w6d) Many of the same things have happened. He seems to finally be calming down now...but for a while there....WOW...I felt the same way as you...wondering if I should be moving out. My advice?? Give it some time. He may still be in panic mode at this point.
Just be aware that if things start to get 'toxic' with your interaction that moving out might be the only logical option. (I know that is heartbreaking)
Hang in there!
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