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Parenting after 35
BrendaLou1969
member
Hello all - I was just called grandmother yesterday
BrendaLou1969
member
UUUGGGHHH. I'm 43 next month, my daughter is 18 mo. and I really need someone to sympathize with me. LOL I just found this board today and am excited to get to know all of you!
If the house ain't burned down and the baby's fed it was a successful day.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Hello all - I was just called grandmother yesterday
Did you smack the idiot with your cane?????
It's happened to every one of us here. People are morons.
What an idiot!
On this board, we collectively should be able to come up with a good comeback for something like that...
Maybe "No, I wasn't a teen mom but thanks for asking..."? Although I have nothing personally against teen moms. Anyone have a better comeback?
"Shut your pie hole, you whipper snapper, or I'll mow you down with my Rascal."
bwahahha, that is hilarious! great comeback
But seriously, what an idiot!
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I would just correct the person and move on. They will probably feel stupid enough when they realize what they said and that they were wrong.
I think people should just assume it's the parent until you are told differently. Much better to assume it's the mother and be told it's the grandmother than to have the opposite.
EDIT I just wanted to add I am dreading this. I was talking about it with my sister the other day. I hate that people need to speak up at all. I hated the judgement I faced as a young mom and I am dreading the comments on the way now.
Just wanted to apologize. That sounded worse than I meant. What struck me was that it in calling someone a grandmother for having a child when she's over 35 yrs old, it seems that the options (i.e. either she's a 35+ mother or a 35+ grandmother who had a child when under 20 yrs or so) -- that it seems it is more normal/assumed to be a younger mother than an older mother. That's all. Sorry if it was offensive.
Now I want to say sorry. I am not offended, I just meant there shoud be a comeback that doesn't include a call out to other mothers so as to make it a stronger comeback. Just correcting their mistake would probably work well if you correct them with a certain look and confidence. (kind of like what a stupid assumption you made, obviously I'm the mother sort of look)
I really hate that people assume a woman older than 30, 35 is old. I am 35 and I am not old. I think women who would call a person caring for a child the grandmother deserves to feel stupid and ashamed.
Sorry that happened to you. Has not happened to me yet, but I would not be surprised if it does. The reality is, there are grandmothers as old as we are. So comments like this should not really offend us as much. It doesn't mean that we look older then we actually are. You could've simply been a young grandmother.
Having said all this, I would probably not feel good either when I encounter such a moment!
FWIW, I have a high school friend who was a grandmother at 34. She was a teen parent at 17 and her son did the same thing when he was 17.
I'll take this over that any day.
Just this past Saturday I had DD3 with me. Lady at the Post Office called me her grandmother.
I will get called grandma when I have my older DDs with me. They are 21 and 18, the youngest DDs are 20 months and 3 wks. I just tell them "No I am the mother"
This has yet to happen to me; however, I'm am sure people have seen me and thought it without actually calling me "grandmother."
When the baby and I go out shopping with my 23 year old daughter, I'm quite positive the assumption is that I am the grandmother. I think I would make that assumption as well if I were an observer.
I'm dreading more the day when another child or an adult is speaking to my child and refers to me as his grandmother. I don't ever want him to be embarrassed that his mother is so much older than that of his playmates.