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Babies on the Brain
welldm02
member
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Could use some advice...
welldm02
member
I'll apologize in advance for how long this is and how whiny I'm sure it will sound.
Anyway, my fiance, J (getting hitched in just 3 more weeks) have already sat down and at least made sure we were on the same page for most major parts of our lives, including having children. It has been agreed upon that we will wait at least 1 year after the wedding to start trying for a baby. When we had that conversation, I was fine with that. Heck, I was fine with saying we could wait 5 years, but I agreed to 1 year because, with J being 7 years older than me, I know that he wants to have to kids before he feels like he's too old to enjoy having kids.
Honestly I had never seriously thought about having children until we had that conversation, and since then, it's all I can think about. Even with the wedding quickly approaching, I can't take my mind off having a baby, and I don't know if I even want to wait that year. I know J will be ok with not waiting, but I guess my problem is that I'm scaring myself with how quickly I made the decision that I wanted a baby. I've never been the type to make any decision quickly let alone a decision as huge as this.
I just want to know if I give it time, will this overwhelming desire to be a mother just go away until I'm ready for it to come back or I am stuck with it?
Again, I apologize for being long winded and whiny, and thank you for any advice you may have.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Could use some advice...
Let me start by saying Congratulations to you on your upcoming nuptials
I think the fact that you and your fiance had "the talk," is a great thing!
I can't speak for everyone because everyones circumstances for their lives are different, but for me, once I decided that I was ready for a baby, it was something that was always in the back of my mind. It wasn't a gnawing feeling, I thought of it more as a goal to reach towards. But definitely talk to your fiance about how you are currently feeling.
Ge through your wedding and honeymoon 1st. Take it one step at a time. If after your few weeks of very wedded bliss, it is still on your mind.... you and your husband should set a goal for yourselves. Like " if we can wait 6 months and have saved X amount of dollars, then we can start trying." That would be my best advice to you. The things you talk about aren't set in stone and can be adjusted at any time
The most important thing is that you are marrying the one you love.... all the rest will come in its own time.
Here's my two cents.... if you and soon to be DH are emotionally, financial and physically "ready" then go for it!!! For some of us it is like a light switch that one day turns on and we realize that we want to be mamas!
So there is nothing wrong with that.
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
Expecting Baby Bean February 2017
My Ovulation Chart Simple Link: My Ovulation Chart
I agree. That feeling may come and go, but it will be there. You just have to learn how to deal with it.
I agree that adjustments are best taken one at a time. That said, when DH and I got married, we'd already been together for 4 years, and living together for 3. We'd traveled all over the world together - spending 24/7 in each other's company for six months straight. I think many of the adjustments of "marriage" came prior to our wedding for us.
If you're curious, we *did* actually wait a year after the wedding to get pregnant, though. There were many factors in that decision. That whole year I was on the bump (or the nest baby back then!) and reading blogs and TCOYF and basically being nutty about wanting to have a baby. Not sure if the feeling ever goes away, but there are ways of distracting (or maybe not!) yourself.
HTH!
girl, i can relate to this. growing up, i really put very little thought into having kids. i was kind of like "if it happens, it happens"... until i met my DH. now, it's alllll i can think about. it's what makes me check these boards a billion times a day, it makes me wear out google, it makes me get excited about doctor visits and charting and taking my temperature each morning... it's such an all-consuming thing if you let it be!
congratulations on your upcoming wedding. enjoy every second of it. and then let that baby fever get back in full swing! it never really goes away, and if you think it's going away, just come back to the bump and read some posts and you'll have the urge all over again!
best of luck to you and your future hubby!
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.