ugh what is wrong with me??

RussianMommy · November 2012

I just watched the video back of our gender reveal and my reaction was very less than stellar. I guess because I already knew what it was, but for my H's family who didn't know that I already had a hunch, I probably looked really upset that it was a boy. I feel horrible - like, I don't want anyone to see this video.

But...throughout this whole pregnancy, I never had that "OMG YAAAAAAY" feeling in my head. Like, when I found out I was pregnant, even though we were trying and I DO want to be a Mom, I never had an emotional moment when I saw stick had 2 lines... it was more like "ok, im pregnant now"... When I heard the heartbeat for the first time, I never cried...when I had my first ultrasound, i never cried.... when I found out I was a boy, I was not overwhelmed with joy.

since the very beginning, I have been nauseous, so that hindered my excitement a bit too...I feel like I have every pregnancy symptom in the book - nausea, heartburn, acid reflux, sore back, headaches, huge boobs, stretch marks. Will this change once I actually see my baby?? maybe it just doesn't seem real yet? maybe once the nursery is set up and we buy baby stuff it'll change?? i feel like I am supposed to be overwhelmed with all this joy and emotion, but I'm just not. I mean, I'm HAPPY for sure, don't get me wrong, I just am not having all these teary moments. Maybe I am just not THAT person???

imoan · November 2012

I'm not that person either.. And there's nothing wrong with that. But stop trying to push yourself to be that person. Having a big sex reveal doesn't sound like you given how you've described yourself.

FutureMrsTowns · November 2012

well, are you normally super sentimental? if not then you just might not be "that" person... if I reacted the way you are my husband would probably have me checked out by a shrink, but I cry at commercials and have what he calls a "glow" every time I see a baby since... well since he met me at least (which was at 14). so, for me not getting emotional would be a sign something was wrong, but I know lots of women who just aren't very emotional to begin with and they did't get super emotional throughout their pregnancy either, it's almost like they just feel like the pregnancy is a means to an end(having the baby) which is ALSO a healthy thought process.

I did, however react a little differently than I expected especially earlier on, I think I was in shock that the fertility treatment actually worked(we were both prepared after the first round of treatment failed for this to be a long process, but then the very next one worked and we were both kinda shocked), and until i felt him move I think it just didn't feel real, like you said.

so, you're probably fine, as long as you don't feel depressed or anything, then you are probably either just not 'that' person, or it doesn't feel real yet, or maybe it's just because you feel so crappy it's hard to get super sentimental...

MotherMayEye · November 2012

I'm not that kind of person either. I find pregnancy to be stressful and it's not until the baby is born and safely in my arms that I can finally let all those mushy, lovey feelings wash over me.

carig63 · November 2012

I'm not that girl either. My husband and I caught a lot of flak the first time around because we weren't jumping up and down or fainting at every appointment/milestone. It's really OK: I think most of the people who fall all over themselves at the drop of a hat are exhausting. There's nothing wrong with you.

RussianMommy · November 2012

imoan:
I'm not that person either.. And there's nothing wrong with that. But stop trying to push yourself to be that person. Having a big sex reveal doesn't sound like you given how you've described yourself.

you're right, it was my H's idea actually and he was really excited to have one, so I went along with it.

sucrets4 · November 2012

imoan:
I'm not that person either.. And there's nothing wrong with that. But stop trying to push yourself to be that person. Having a big sex reveal doesn't sound like you given how you've described yourself.

Yes, totally this. I'm not the weepy type and tend to keep lots of things inside. It's okay and doesn't mean you don't love your baby.

doremi29 · November 2012

I was the same way with my first pregnancy (and a bit with this one as well, though I think it stems more from just being busy with DS and not having time to get all excited about another one). Trust me, you will feel strong emotions when you meet the baby. Maybe not crying (though I went from someone who never cries to a complete emotional mess once I had him) but you will definately feel overwhelming emotion for your son.

katie6/26/04 · November 2012

I'm not that person either. I also didn't cry when I found "the dress".

mrsjollybrown · November 2012

I'm a super sappy person. When I got my two lines I kept thinking I was imagining it. When I told my husband three days later,he was on a business trip, it made it more real. At my first ultrasound I kept saying this is so freaking cool! Not one tear has been shed. All of my ultrasounds lead to excitement but none of my normal Awwweeee boo hoo behavior.

I still find it hard to believe I'm pregnant and think its weird to have a conversation around me being pregnant. But I also talk to my "little baby" everyday. I think everybody responds differently. I mean I had a full fledged melt down in the airport after customs separated me from my mom last week. But I haven't cried over one of my baby moments. At least not yet. Doesn't mean I don't love my kid just means...I dunno but this kid is loved

rpalen29 · November 2012

I think it's OK to not cry. I didnt cry when I saw the lines, or the heartbeat, or at my ultrasounds. Me and DH were just very happy, and we were smiling the whole time. Im sure i'll cry when it gets here. Regardless if I do or not, I still love my little jellybean.

I also didn't cry when I found my dress. I was just like "OK, this is it, this is definitely my dress!" but the day of my wedding I was crying when I was saying my vows.

Runaway22 · November 2012

I pick weird things to get emotional about. Hearing the heartbeat did nothing, but talking about the swishy "movement" sounds got me choked up. Seeing the ultrasound and gender reveal did nothing, partly because I was uncomfortable at that office and my SO and I had been fighting minutes before. Then, I spent a good 15 minutes talking to my baby alone, and totally cried. I watched a couple birth videos, and cried again when the baby was handed to the mom. But looking at tiny clothes, or just pictures of babies might get an "aww" from me, but that's it.

I don't think it's a big deal if you're not freaking out outwardly.

RussianMommy · November 2012

Runaway22:
I pick weird things to get emotional about. Hearing the heartbeat did nothing, but talking about the swishy "movement" sounds got me choked up. Seeing the ultrasound and gender reveal did nothing, partly because I was uncomfortable at that office and my SO and I had been fighting minutes before. Then, I spent a good 15 minutes talking to my baby alone, and totally cried. I watched a couple birth videos, and cried again when the baby was handed to the mom. But looking at tiny clothes, or just pictures of babies might get an "aww" from me, but that's it. I don't think it's a big deal if you're not freaking out outwardly.

this is me too! I get teary eyed when I watch a Baby Story on TV, and I enjoy looking at baby clothes.. so I guess I'm not a total robot

thanks everyone. i just needed some reassurance that I'm not some emotionless mother who doesn't care. i must be one of those ppl who needs to see it to believe it.

LadyDelilah · November 2012

If you are looking for the movie moment of OH EM GEE IM SO HAPPEH! It rarely happens like that. I didnt get that moment until I saw my kids when they were born. Some people never do. I assume the baby is healthy and regardless of it being a boy or girl that was the main concern and since that was the priority its normal for you to react less than expected by people that may want a show.

I wouldnt over analyze it by watching the video over and over again youre just going to irritate yourself and continue to want a different reaction than what you had. IMO dont cheapen the moment. KWIM?

RussianMommy · November 2012

LadyDelilah:
If you are looking for the movie moment of OH EM GEE IM SO HAPPEH! It rarely happens like that. I didnt get that moment until I saw my kids when they were born. Some people never do. I assume the baby is healthy and regardless of it being a boy or girl that was the main concern and since that was the priority its normal for you to react less than expected by people that may want a show.

I wouldnt over analyze it by watching the video over and over again youre just going to irritate yourself and continue to want a different reaction than what you had. IMO dont cheapen the moment. KWIM?

yup, baby is super healthy. all my numbers came back great! risk of downs was 1:20,000 and spina bidifina was 1:4100...growing on time, heart looks great. so yes, im happy about that

spring_time · November 2012

I don't think you are abnormal. The only time I cried was when I was feeling the affects of the first trimester and when I found out DS was a boy. Like you, I really wanted a girl my first time around. It didn't happen, I got over it, and I love my little boy more than anything else in the world. Even if you are slightly disappointed, which is ok, those feeling will pass and you will love your DS and be a great mother to him. In fact, this time around, I was kind of hoping for another little boy because I found out I am actually a really good mom to a boy.

After reading your reaction, I should probably warn you that you may not have that love at first sight moment with your little guy either. I didn't start feeling attached until a couple weeks into the newborn phase. I kind of think it is strange to have an immediate attachment to a human being you have just met. You and your baby may need to get to know each other first. As I was in the depths of feeling awful about those feelings, a few friends also admitted to feeling the same way at first.

MAdams728 · November 2012

I think you are perfectly normal, because I'm pretty much the same way, LOL. I've never been a very emotional person. When I got the positive test, it was more of a "success! mission accomplished" kind of moment, instead of "squeeee! I'm pregnant!!" I have not cried at any of the ultrasounds, although I did get excited at the NT scan when I saw that it was a real little baby in there. I havent even thought about buying things yet.

I think I'm too wrapped up in worrying, my anxiety gets the upper hand sometimes.

Dont worry about your reaction on the video. Other people might not even notice your lack of reaction like you did, because you are probably more critical of yourself than you need to be!

MommaG123 · November 2012

I wouldn't worry about it too much. With DD I was excited but I wasn't like OMG excited about it. I mean I didn't even cry when she was born. I felt kind of bad about that one. I was happy and excited but not overly emotional. Some people just aren't.

SandiaPinaMama · November 2012

My emotions are very private. So I never cried or anything like that. That doesn't mean I love my son any less.

shibby00 · November 2012

Lol I cried when I got my BFP but they weren't necessarily happy tears! I cried at every milestone when I was KU with DD, but this time not so much. I think you are fine.

SidraJedi · November 2012

Sounds like it is just hormones. They are funny things. Over-reaction and under-reaction are both normal, not just over-reaction.

cjbelk · November 2012

I have been feeling the same way. This is baby #2 for us and I just feel like - blah - about the whole thing. Maybe it is my lack of sleep - I don't know what it is. I just haven't felt super excited like I did with my first. I am hoping this will change - I feel guilty-like I am cheating this LO out of the excitment it deserves (does that sound crazy).

bhjones1980 · November 2012

I think your reaction is more normal than you think.

I have not even been close to crying at any milestone of this pregnancy.

flerlgirl · November 2012

In every photo and video I constantly look like I hate the world and all its inhabitants. I am not that person either. My DH took a video of our ultrasound the other day and the CNM sounds more excited than I do. Some people just aren't gushy! Welcome to the dark side. Please proceed quietly.

Smartie26 · November 2012

I totally agree with Runaway22, I'm the same way. She put it perfectly.

RussianMommy:
Runaway22:
I pick weird things to get emotional about. Hearing the heartbeat did nothing, but talking about the swishy "movement" sounds got me choked up. Seeing the ultrasound and gender reveal did nothing, partly because I was uncomfortable at that office and my SO and I had been fighting minutes before. Then, I spent a good 15 minutes talking to my baby alone, and totally cried. I watched a couple birth videos, and cried again when the baby was handed to the mom. But looking at tiny clothes, or just pictures of babies might get an "aww" from me, but that's it. I don't think it's a big deal if you're not freaking out outwardly.
this is me too! I get teary eyed when I watch a Baby Story on TV, and I enjoy looking at baby clothes.. so I guess I'm not a total robot
thanks everyone. i just needed some reassurance that I'm not some emotionless mother who doesn't care. i must be one of those ppl who needs to see it to believe it.

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