Can you really hold LO to much at 3m old?

crystalknpp · November 2012

Certain family members keep insisting that I hold B to much and that I should let him cry/fuss longer before picking him up. What I find ironic is that these same family members are the same people who always want to hold him when there around, but whatever. B has recently been screaming when you walk out of the room or out of site and as soon as you come back in and he sees you or you pick him up he smiles from ear to ear and is fine. I'm being told that he's doing this intentionally because he knows I'll come get him. He's just shy of 3 months old so I didn't think it was even possible yet for him to do anything unless he was legitimately upset etc.? What do you girls think? They're making me feel like a bad mom for picking him up and cuddling him because I don't want him to be upset.

VeilSdeGTO · November 2012

DH asked the pedi this at her 4 month appointment and he gave an awesome answer. He said that if your instinct is to pick him up, then pick him up. If it doesn't make you want to rush right over to pick him up, then he is probably old enough to wait a few minutes. I thought it was nonsense at first, but it held true. At 3 months old, I held DD all the time. At 13 months, she hardly wants to be held. I say, hold, snuggle, and "spoil" away!

crystalknpp · November 2012

Thanks girls! I just know that he's not going to be this little or want to me held and cuddle forever and I want to enjoy the time while I can. He is already growing up way to quickly!!

lax15bsu · November 2012

I get the same comments ALL.THE.TIME. So annoying. I ignore them. Hold that sweet baby as much as you want. I like PPs pedi's advice too.

I also get told that I feed H too much. Cuz, you know, she's EBF and eats every 3-4 hours. "We don't want her to get fat." You should stretch her out to 4-5 hours.

There are some things you just learn to nod your head and ignore as you continue to do what you want to do.

[Deleted User] · November 2012

lax15bsu:
I get the same comments ALL.THE.TIME. So annoying. I ignore them. Hold that sweet baby as much as you want. I like PPs pedi's advice too.
I also get told that I feed H too much. Cuz, you know, she's EBF and eats every 3-4 hours. "We don't want her to get fat." You should stretch her out to 4-5 hours.
There are some things you just learn to nod your head and ignore as you continue to do what you want to do.

OMG, do you have the same ILs? My GMIL said exactly the same thing all day on Thanksgiving. "She's crying because she's spoiled. You pick her up too much." "Why does she eat so much? You're feeding her too often." Drives me batty!

Crystal, you hold that precious little boy if you want to! He's your kid, not theirs.

xleslieraex · November 2012

As pp said, no.

I also like the response the doc gave. It is perfect. Hold your little guy as much as you want.

Scooby2358 · November 2012

I'm with PPs - soak up those baby snuggles. And I really like the pedi's answer; I think instincts go a long way.

piedpiper07 · November 2012

VeilSdeGTO:
DH asked the pedi this at her 4 month appointment and he gave an awesome answer. He said that if your instinct is to pick him up, then pick him up. If it doesn't make you want to rush right over to pick him up, then he is probably old enough to wait a few minutes.

I love this advice! There are definitely moments where I am like "I'll come when I finish up the dishes so fuss away" and other times where its obvious that you need to stop what you are doing and go to them. I think its dumb when people make comments about spoiling a baby, especially a young infant. LOL they can't even grab a toy what makes people think they have the ability to manipulate adults.

adoxyinherear · November 2012

No way! It's not possible to spoil babies under a year old. when we respond to them, they learn that the world is a good place and we're helping to give them a good foundation for their social and emotional development. Love the pedi's advice, too. Why would we be wired to feel anxious when a baby cries if we aren't meant to respond?

authorofdreamz · November 2012

They say no but personally I feel that you can and I feel that I did hold DD too much and now I am paying for it. She never wants anyone else to hold her and she doesn't like other people at all. If people talk to her she screams her head off. I am going to try holding my next LO a little less and seeing if that lessens. But it is really up to you and just ignore people, they are dumb. Everyone asks me if I feed DD enough since she is small for her age, it is annoying.

katigox · November 2012

RusalkaSings:
No way! It's not possible to spoil babies under a year old. when we respond to them, they learn that the world is a good place and we're helping to give them a good foundation for their social and emotional development. Love the pedi's advice, too. Why would we be wired to feel anxious when a baby cries if we aren't meant to respond?

THIS

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