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June 2012 Moms
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Grandma vent (ours)

khill86khill86 member
in June 2012 Moms
Okay so I don't have any grandparents, but both of DH's grandmothers are still living. One (G1) lives nearby and the other (G2) lives up north 3.5 hours away. Obviously we see G1 more often.

So G1 had 5 kids in 4 years when she was 17-21. She always says how things were different back then, no one shared information, no one thought babies knew/thought/felt anything, etc. She CONSTANTLY fusses with DS. His socks are too tight, his sleeves are pulled up, his pant legs are pulled up, the feet on his sleeper are squishing his toes, he's too warm, too cold, doesn't sleep enough, I hold him too much, I'm not doing anything for his cradle cap, I shouldn't let him try to sit on his own, stand, etc etc etc. Obviously I am a terrible parent. She's pretty loony and an alcoholic (not exaggerating) so I usually keep my mouth shut, but I swore at her the other night over going on and on about the feet on his sleeper squishing his toes (for the record, it fit perfectly fine, just the legs were riding up when people were holding him, like EVERY OTHER pair of pants!). Anyway, I don't believe for a second that with 5 under 4 she had the time to nit-pick her babies like that. Also, all 5 of her kids talk about living in their small trailer, the brother slept on the floor of a closet, hydro and water cut off all the time, etc. Hardly the picture of perfection. But to her, I am not mom-enough because I don't think my baby is made of glass.

G2, on the other hand tries to get me to let DS CIO, insists that I should put him down after he is fed and changed (because he should just sleep, he doesn't need any more than milk and a clean diaper), my breastmilk is inadequate and I should stop BFing when we start solids, playing with DS and letting him reach or work to get toys is teasing him (so his DH kissing him and making him giggle), etc. To her, I mother him too much - he does not need to be entertained by me and a rattle is perfectly sufficient.

I want to believe that this is a generational thing, anyone else get such criticism from your own grandparents?.
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Re: Grandma vent (ours)

  • jamiah18jamiah18 member

    I think a lot of it has to do with a generational gap.  My mom and I are SUPER DUPER close but even her and I have our differences of opinion when it comes to parenting.  

    It does sound like they are nit-picking but for some reason, people think they have a right to do that when it comes to parenting. I would definitely not let their criticisms get you down in any way.  Things have really changed since your dh's grandmothers raised babies.  No one knows your baby better than you, so keep doing what your doing:) 

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  • Starbear06Starbear06 member
    Definitely a generational gap issue and this is two generations of different thinking! I have the same issue with just even my MIL. She had 7 children and still goes crazy when LO cries for just a bit. Hard to believe that she didn't let anyone of her 7 children cry or fuss just a bit. She says that I shouldn't be helping LO sit or stand assisted because he's too young blah blah. I just chalk up everything she says as a generational gap and if she really annoys me I just say something politely back to her to stop.
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  • JessieCupcakeJessieCupcake member

    I think it's generational too. One of my grandmas is like your G2. She says I "spoil" DS too much because I hold him when he cries. She said I should give him water during the night to train him to know if he wakes to eat at night he won't get what he wants. Indifferent

    It can be very annoying.

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