October 2011 Moms

Cyber Bullying (10 yo)

My niece (J) is 10 years old and does not know how to keep things like passwords secret from her friends. The fact that she is not old enough to even have a FB account I will ignore for now but...one of her friends hacked into her FB account  and posted messages from J's FB onto J's friend's walls saying that she hates them, they spread rumors about her and called them beotches and azzholes and said that she isn't going to talk to them anymore. The girl then logs onto her own account and says to the friends "Oh I don't know what is wrong with J. She is so mean and I don't think we should be friends with her", etc.

To make matters worse when my SIL found this out she called the girl's mother. The mother was completely nasty and called my SIL a beotch. My SIL has filed a police report and made copies of everything on the board but it is unlikely that the police will do anything since they haven't even had enough police force to respond to break-ins, etc.

I just can't believe that this stuff is happening already at 10 yo. Again, J shouldn't even have a FB account but still....this makes me so worried for when DS is older.

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Re: Cyber Bullying (10 yo)

  • My step-daughter is about to be 10, and this story makes me cringe.  I know kids can be so cruel, but man does that seem awful early for such hatred.  Obviously, the mother projects her b!itchy attitude onto her children.  Unfortunately, the police can't change someone from being an azzhole.  Blerg.



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  • That breaks my heart. 10 year olds should be playing and having fun and not harrassing eachother. It makes me sad for DD when she gets older-hopefully J can explain to her friends about what really happened and then delete her FB account. As for the mother of the other kid...wonder where her kids learned such fab manners. It scares me how much children learn from the parents and how little responsability parents take for their kids actions. Especially this day in age when everyone is so hyper aware of bullying of any kind.
  • The internet and social media sites like FB certainly make it easier, but unfortunately this kind of bullying and manipulation would happen even without it.  I did a co-op placement in a grade 3 class back before FB existed, but there was a terrible situation where one girl (A) was jealous that her best friend (B) was becoming good friends with a new girl (C).  A stole B's mother's watch and planted it in C's room.  The worst part is that the teacher thought that C's father beat her for it (had no proof, new immigrant family with different ideas about discipline).  First C was ostracized for the theft, then A was ostracized for the deception when it came out, but within about two weeks all three girls were best friends again.  It was very strange.

    I'm sorry this happened to your niece.  Hopefully her friends can see through the manipulation and there won't be any long-last consequences for her socially.  And now is a good time for J to learn all about online safety and privacy.  Poor girl.

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  • Is it awful that I'm not surprised?  This sounds like typical pre-teen girl stuff, just moved from the playground to the internet (which is kind of like the playground for today's generation.)  Girls are AWFUL!  This is one of the reasons we were really hoping for a boy.  I can deal with broken bones, but mind games are the worst.

    I was probably around 10 when a girl in my grade started forming the "I hate Jenny" club at recess when the girl got into a fight with Jenny.  I wasn't involved, because I didn't like the girl who started the club or Jenny, but I remember the whole thing vividly.  The tears, the fighting, the club disbanding and reforming again. 

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  • This is one of the reasons why I was hoping for a boy too. J had already had issues with being bullied on the school bus by another girl when I was pregnant with DS. It just breaks my heart. One of the big issues with the cyber bullying is that a lot of damage can be done in a very short amount of time and I have heard it following kids even when they change schools. I am just really surprised that it starts so early now. When I was a kid the bullying didn't really start until Jr. high school.
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  • I feel bad for J!

    My nephew started getting bullied when he was 10. He will be 16 in January. He isn't into sports and is into wearing skinny jeans and doing choir, acting, etc. He reminds me of someone from the TV show Glee. But he is a really good kid. Not only was he bullied by guys, he was extremely bullied by girls. The "zero tolerance" policy at the school wasn't zero tolerance and even though it was reported countless times, nothing was done. It finally came down to my SIL telling him he needed to switch schools. She is an airhead because it has happened at every school. I sat down with him and weighed the pros and cons, and then convinced him to do online public schooling. Turns out, he loves it! His grades are up, he has time to join more activities he actually enjoys, and join an acting school where he just got his first "job" as a extra in a movie.

    I hope everything works out for your niece. Kids are cruel....and when I was growing up, girls were downright nasty to girls they didn't like.
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  • I have a ten year old and there is no way in HELL I would allow him to have a FB account, I can't ignore that. Kids can be so cruel. I think the fact that the mother is nasty shows you where the daughter gets it from. The really go in depth about bullying at most schools, my son talks about the importance of not being a bully all the time. I think girls can be much crueler than boys.
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  • Yeah I would be seriously restricting my kid's computer access altogether and reporting all those girls to Facebook.  The company will take down pages that belong to kids under 13.  I don't know how quickly they act, but they do it.
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