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Blended Families
Sigir
member
What say blended families?
Sigir
member
Just curious bc I am on the fence on this one. There is a school performance in the spring and they just emailed the sign up sheet. Both exh and I get the school emails so I know he got it plus I discussed w him if dc could be in it, bc I wanted to make sure he was ok w the rehearsal schedule etc. he was ok w it.
Well, on the sign up sheet it is also asking for 'dadlike' figure and 'momlike' figures to sign up. It says, for example for the males, "DaddyOhs: adult group made up of any Dadlike member of the [school name] community". So dc asked my dh to sign up for this.
I am very happy that their relationship is growing so well that she would ask him to do this. I really don't want to interfere. But is it stepping on exh's toes for him to be in the show? My opinion is that, if exh wants to do it, he can... The more the merrier. After all, he got the email too. And if the shoe were on the other foot, and dd asked exh's gf to be in the show, i'd be fine w that... i'd want to join in too [i'm def a joiner]. But my exh can be tough and always takes everything I do the wrong way. What do you all think of this?
Well, on the sign up sheet it is also asking for 'dadlike' figure and 'momlike' figures to sign up. It says, for example for the males, "DaddyOhs: adult group made up of any Dadlike member of the [school name] community". So dc asked my dh to sign up for this.
I am very happy that their relationship is growing so well that she would ask him to do this. I really don't want to interfere. But is it stepping on exh's toes for him to be in the show? My opinion is that, if exh wants to do it, he can... The more the merrier. After all, he got the email too. And if the shoe were on the other foot, and dd asked exh's gf to be in the show, i'd be fine w that... i'd want to join in too [i'm def a joiner]. But my exh can be tough and always takes everything I do the wrong way. What do you all think of this?
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Re: What say blended families?
Can they have more than one person sign up?
I don't know, if it were my family and I signed up instead of BM...even if she didn't want to do it, she would be mad.
For example, SD was invited to a bday party by a classmate from school. It was a tea party theme and a 'mommy, grandma, or a friend' was required to attend as well. DH told her that if she couldn't make it that I would love to attend with SD. Well the day comes and goes and DH asked SD how the party went BM picked SD up from our house and dropped her back off that day and SD said the party was cancelled and she didn't go. Now by all means it could have been...but in knowing BM, she just didn't go.
Don't let your exh insecurities prevent your DC from doing what he wants.
It's hard to juggle not rocking the boat but still allowing DC to choose.
If you think it would help keep the peace, send him a text or email letting him know that DH is signing up and that it's something they both can do if he's interested also.
DC's choice trumps all in this case since it's not an either/or scenario, imo, and since he wants DH to do it, DH should. It's a nice way to be involved that doesn't exclude BF if he wants to participate also.
I agree with this.
If my skids specifically ask me to participate in something, I will generally do it. That included the school "Mother's Day Tea." When SS asked me, I said ok; then the day before the event I asked him if he was sure he wanted me to go or if he wanted it to be a special thing with just his mom. He still wanted me to go. SS was the only one with two moms there, but he was happy.
yep, this is what I was going to say..
Exactly this. I think it's great that LO wants your husband to do it, and I'm sure if BD decided to join in it would be even more special for your child. Note I said "your child". Regardless of the adults' feelings, everyone needs to remember this is for LO, not the parents' egos. Definitely give BD the heads up though as a courtesy. This will help avoid an ugly confrontation at the school in front of other parents and teachers.
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From reading your other posts I'm going to guess it wouldn't keep the peace. If your child asked your DH to join, and he's into it, I say go with it. Your Ex is a grown man. He needs to act like one and do the legwork if he wants to be involved.