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Baby Showers
Boo0512
member
Need opinions from 2nd/3rd time moms on post-baby shower
Boo0512
member
in Baby Showers
Hello, calling all "experienced" moms!
I'm a FTM and my DH and I have been debating whether or not to find out the sex of our LO. I really want/wanted to find out the sex but he REALLY wants it to be a surprise.
Because I love my DH and I don't want him to feel like he got "cheated" out of the excitement, I may cave and have a post-baby shower. I hate gender neutral crap (you can boo at me all you want but I don't care lol) so I thought maybe I wouldn't mind it being a surprise if we waited till the baby was born to have the shower.
So here is my main question, how long after the baby is born should I have the shower? Right now I'm thinking 6 weeks after my due date. I'm hoping this will be enough time for me to get my shiz together and not look like a COMPLETE hot mess. Thoughts?
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Re: Need opinions from 2nd/3rd time moms on post-baby shower
What does your shower hostess say?
Not knowing your family, if you have a post-baby shower, you will likely get tons of clothes. If you have a gender-neutral pre-baby shower, you might receive gender-neutral gear you could use for other LOs. Just something to think about....
And to answer your question, by the time I was 6w PP, after a planned CS, I had put my house on the market, packed up for a move, and started a job search. A shower would have been cake.
My sister told me she would like to throw me a shower, but I haven't run the post-baby shower idea past her yet. I think she would be totally fine with it. She is a great sister and will want me to be happy
I've started my baby registry and I have all gender neutral staples on there right now except I'm registered for girl bedding and boy bedding just because I didn't want to forget which ones I liked so much.
I'm glad to hear that 6 weeks PP won't be too early. Because due dates can vary I didn't want to get any closer than 4 weeks, but not past 8 weeks. If that makes sense. Thanks for your input!
I will preface this by saying I had a relatively easy recovery from my c-section, but by 3 weeks post partum I was out and about an hosted Thanksgiving (with help!). By 6 weeks, I would imagine you'd be feeling pretty good unless you had complications.
I've honestly never heard of this- and don't you want the stuff to use when the baby arrives, or do you already have everything? I just think you would get a lot of clothes and stuff.
You could always exhange things you hate? I dunno, I didnt totally hate all of our gender neutral stuff. I was just so grateful that people were so generous in giving me a shower. I was also happy that the pink started flowing in in moderation after she was born and I wasn't smothered with it :-)
I do think that having the post-baby shower will make some things more complicated. For me it isn't 100% ideal, but I'm trying really hard to compromise with my DH so he can be surprised.
My plan is, *if* I do this post-baby shower I will probably borrow some items clothes, etc. from my sis and SIL. The bedding I will probably ask as a gift from my mom and dad, they would be able to buy it before the baby comes home and would be happy to do so.
All I'm going to add- we found out the sex and it was a big surprise to us.
I honestly don't see how it's less of a surprise to find out early than it is to find out when the baby is born.
Just another perspective.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I totally agree, my DH not so much. Grr.
Personally I would have the shower before the baby was born and I'll tell you why:
Often times when people know the gender, especially after the baby is born you will get a lot of clothes, especially if you have a girl. You'll probably end up with very little that you actually NEED because people will likely figure that since the baby is born that you have everything that is NEEDED so they can get you "fun" stuff.
If you have a shower where you don't know the gender, before baby is born obviously, people tend not to buy clothes because gender neutral clothes are "not as fun". You'd likely get a lot more stuff that you would actually need like bottles, maybe a car seat, stroller, swing, etc. It is smart to have those things in gender neutral colors since you don't usually get a shower for your next so it is up to you to keep things from child to child.
As a side note if you decide to have the shower after and get all gender specific things please don't bother coming on here in a few years when you are expected #2 and you NEED a second shower because this one is a different gender and you have all gender specific stuff... I'm just warning you that it won't go over well...
We didn't find out the sex the first time around and this was all very true for us. I would really have the shower PRE baby and get all the gear you need before the baby comes. Clothes are the easiest thing to shop for and then you can get what you really like. If you wait until after the baby, everyone is going to get you clothes and a million blankets and none of the other stuff that you actually use all the time.
Is no one else smelling a strong whiff of self-entitlement here???
Call it self-entitlement if you will, that is fine. My family and I are very close and I bent over backwards for my sister when she had both of her little girls and I know she will want to do the same for me. My dad and I work together and we help each other out with everything at work and outside of work. My parents love me to death and would do anything to make my life easier and it is reciprocated. My mother has multiple sclerosis pretty badly so she loves to buy her grandkids things because she is unable to baby-sit them due to her illness. I guess it's too bad that my comments are taken as self-entitlement. My family and I love each other that is all.
We were team green with all 3 of our kids. It is definitely an exciting time finding out if you have a son or daughter after pushing that bugger out! lol My showers were pre-baby so I got all that gender neutral stuff (which came in handy since I first had a girl and then 2 boys). BTW...I did get plenty of gifts AFTER the babies were born and got plenty of gender specific things (clothes, blankets, etc) then.
I have hosted 2 showers post-baby and although they got a lot of gender specific things...both women actually registered for mostly gender neutral items. Probably because they both planned to have other children. If you don't plan to have any other kids...then certainly register for as much gender specific things as you want.
Personally, I love a lot of the gender neutral "crap" as you call it. The tans, browns, blues (yep...can be for boy or girl) are what I would get anyway...because I'm just not into only pink/purple for a girl. A lot of people get a lot of pink stuff (because they know they're having a girl) and end up using it for a boy later on anyway. That stuff is expensive to "re-purchase" just because you want another color.
It is not my experience (at least with the 2 post-baby showers I hosted) that people bought only clothes. Most of them went by the registry. Of course there were essentials that the mom's had to have before baby was born (carseat, place to sleep - both opted for bassinet, few onesies and sleepers, some diapers - although they were given tons from the hospital, a few blankets, etc). One baby was almost 3 weeks and the other was almost 4 weeks. I had the invites ready to go except for the baby's name and gender and they were dropped into the mailbox before mom and baby came home from the hospital. Both mom's seemed to be fine. Nothing like a party thrown in your honor to "perk you up".
LOL...that would have gone in one ear and out the other with me. We are a very sociable family. Maybe that is why my kids never get sick...even after starting pre-school (they've already been "exposed").
I think people like the idea of hearing the doctor shout, "It's a -----!"