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Letting go of DD's Godmother- long

I'm sorry for being a Debbie Downer for new moms who haven't even had one Godparent yet, but I need advice, or something...

DD's Godmother (GM) is my best friend, at least she used to be. She and I have been friends since freshman year of college, about 12 years, she was instrumental in my converting to Catholicism, and was one of two maids of honors at my wedding (other was my sister). GM has always been...sensitive, does not take criticism well, and does not fight fair. Whatever, noone is perfect and we all move on,. I feel, and so do other friends, that her bad qualities have become much more pronounced over the last several years, which is strange since she has been dating and married last year a seriously awesome guy who is so REASONABLE. Just a great guy. In the run up to her wedding she was graduating from grad school, had no job, her DH didn't have a lot of money, and I was also unemployed, had DD, and my DH was graduating from med school, so none of us had any money. Her parents gave her 10grand for the wedding and she was going crazy sticking to the budget, which is cool, but then she picked a $400 bridesmaid dress after I told her I couldn't afford more than $200, and she got pissed at me for literally everything regarding this dress, and also told me my bridesmaid dresses were ugly. Charming. I was so stressed about her wedding I didn't eat for days leading up to it. Anyways, the dress fiasco was sort of the beginning of the end of the friendship. 

Then, DH and I actually moved from out of state for his job to the city where GM lives. She's going on and on about how excited she is, but she sounds angry every time I call her, refuses to make plans with me because "I'm not a planner" (whatever), and the last time I saw her/spoke to her was a month ago, and she was texting with another friend the whole time, who met us out and was rude to me, and then GM got mad at ME for not liking this other person who is rude?

There are many more anecdotes like this that always leave me angry for days afterwards. 

I need to let this friendship go. Obviously something is up with her, but I just don't have the energy to deal with her anymore. I am pregnant with #2, and she was gushing about how excited she was but she barely knows DD, who is her Goddaughter. Anyways, I guess if anyone has any advice, or has let go of a Godparent, or anything, I would appreciate it. I don't know my Godparents at all, but I kind of wish DD's would have lasted longer than 2.5 years, you know? Thanks for reading.

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Re: Letting go of DD's Godmother- long

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    This person doesn't sound like a very good friend. If she is causing you stress, I hate to sound mean, but it is probably worth it to stress about her less and become less friends for now. Maybe she is going through something and in a few years you can pick up the friendship again. You shouldn't have to work hard to maintain a friendship...or at least that is how I feel. Good luck.
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    imagekirygrl:
    This person doesn't sound like a very good friend. If she is causing you stress, I hate to sound mean, but it is probably worth it to stress about her less and become less friends for now. Maybe she is going through something and in a few years you can pick up the friendship again. You shouldn't have to work hard to maintain a friendship...or at least that is how I feel. Good luck.

    This. I dealt with a similar situation. Not a Godparent, but my best friend since 7th grade. I got married, she just stopped talking to me. I still don't know what she thinks I did wrong but there were several times she did things to me that friends just don't do. It was extremely hard to let go of, but now that I have, I feel so much better. There's no one left to bring me down. Good luck! 

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    I would let it fade by itself. It sounds like GM is not interested in being involved in your life.

    I had that happen to me last year. I had DD and suddenly nothing from a good friend since 2005. When I emailed her to ask what was going on in her life and/or if she was ok I got silence and defriending on FB.

    Sometimes friendships just end. It's sad, but its better to focus on the positive.


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    I agree with a PP about friendships just ending.  Over time, our own needs, expectations and priorities change.  Our personalities also evolve over time. 

    Like us individually, friendships evolve over time.  Some stand the test of time, and others don't.  For those that don't, don't think that your friendship was a waste of time.  They're good while they lasted, and that door may actually never close entirely.  Sometimes, we grow apart from the people we love, only to find them again later on in life.

    Keep in mind, though, the bad habits and traits only tend to get worse as we grow older.  Sensitivity, especially.

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    If you had the energy to keep te friendship going, I would try and find out what is going with her and to see how she's doing. She may be going through some "stuff" that you're not aware of and it's impacting her ability to not be a good friend to you.

    But if you've just had enough with her shenanigans, just let it fade away. If she calls you or texts you, fine. If not, then there's no reason to worry about it. I imagine you have other friendships that are more healthy and on which you can spend your time. Focusing on those positive friendships will help you to fret less about the loss of this one.

    **About 7 years ago, I stepped away from a friendship I'd had since preschool--I'm now 30. Honestly, I don't regret it. Some frienships just grow apart and that's okay.

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