how often do you get visitors from home? — The Bump
International Bumpies

how often do you get visitors from home?

Just wondering what other expats have experienced as far as visitors go.

We've been here 18 months. My mum has visited once, a friend once (because she was traveling near by) and then my twin sister has been over 10 or 11 times (she moved to London in January which is an hour flight away).

I wish more people would visit. I know part of the problem is that we live in a remote area and it's costly to get here. It's also not on most people's top ten list of places to see in Europe.

One of my good friends is on her first overseas trip this week. She's in Paris and I would so love to see her. I know it's not in her budget and she doesn't have time to come to us. And we just took our last pre-newbaby trip and are saving for a bigger trip so I have no $ to go see her in Paris.

Re: how often do you get visitors from home?

  • The year I lived in Berlin I felt like a hotel. As a joke, when visitors were coming I would send them a "bill", noting that in lieu of the outrageous rates I had written down, they could bring me a box of Quaker Oatmeal, or Cheetos, or a particular kind of tea I like, or brown sugar, etc. 

    Since moving to where we are now, though, I had a cousin visit once (we went on several day trips and a weekend trip to Oktoberfest), a friend who had also done an exchange year in this town visit once, and otherwise only a friend and a relative who both happened to be in the area on business. And my parents have visited several times. But all of that is in 6 years. Excluding my parents, we have visitors from home an average of once every 2-3 years.


    BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
    BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
    BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

  • We've lived in Scotland for almost 7 years. My dad comes out every year, my mom every other year, my inlaws have been out 3 times I think? SIL once (6 years ago), my brother and his wife once (also 6 years ago!).

    One of DH's friends came out but he wanted to work at the Edinburgh Festival and stayed with us a month so I'm not convinced that counts. 

    We don't go back to the states every year either so I guess we're pretty terrible at seeing our families on both ends.

    TTC #1 since Aug 2010 * BFP Aug 2011, EDD April 16 2012 * MMC @ 7w5d, D&C @ 10w5d
    BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks
    Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks on Nov 27 2012

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  • We only have lived in Scotland since the beginning of June, but we will have our first visitor this December (my younger sister).  Next summer we basically will be running a hotel out of our home...we definitely have my inlaws, my mom, aunt and uncle, my dad and step mom, and DH's best friend and his wife.  They will all be here between the months of April and September...inlaws will be here the longest- 3+ weeks (god help me) and we are planning to see parts of Germany and France with them (I plan on drinking mass amounts of German beer and French wine to enable me to stay sane thoughout the duration of this trip)

    We already were back in the States for BIL's wedding this past August and DD and I plan on going back again in March to visit my family...my MIL however is throwing a bitchfit that I am not going to see them too, so now I might be adding additional stops.

     

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  • My grandparents and aunts all live in the UK so they come over once or twice a year. My sister lives in the US, she only comes to see us (DH, DD, me and my parents) once a year if we're lucky and my parents pay for her to come over using my Dads sky miles.

    I have close friends in the US and I've been here 6 years, my best friend has been over once for my wedding...the only time she's left the states other than a day trip to Mexico. A close friend from college flies to the UK a lot for research so she always makes sure to come and see us while she's there. Other than that nobody from the US ever comes over. 

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  • We have only been here 14 months. We have had my Mom once (for two weeks after I gave birth), dh's parents, and my sister.

    My parents are set to visit together next month, for ds' first birthday, and then my other sister is coming in February.

    So, a fair amount..but what gets me is that my dh's sister and her family, the ones that can afford to come the most, haven't even tried to visit yet (and see their nephew). That makes me sad.

    b/w=FSH 15.6, AMH 0.4 surprise natural BFP on 3/12/11
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  • For the first few years of being here we didn?t get any visitors, and we didn?t return to the UK for about 5yrs because we had no money.

    In the 13 yrs we have been here my sister has visited 4 times, and my aunt about 6 or 7 times,most of those since DS was born. DH?s family have stayed with us or visited about the same number of times, again mostly since we had the bubba.

    These days we try to go back at least once a year.

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  • I've been in Australia for over 3 years now and have had visitors once.  My parents and sister came out after DS was born 2 years ago.  They are going to visit again once we have another child.  The rest of my family and friends have said they will come and visit, but so far no one has even made an inquiry and I highly doubt they ever will. 
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  • When we lived in Europe we got a lot of visitors.  Both of our families and several friends came through.

    Since we've been in Malaysia it's been one friend and no family from the US.  We're a lot harder for people to get to now and I completely understand that.  We've had a lot of our friends from Europe some out though.  I guess it makes sense, for them it's half the flight than it is for our families. 

  • My parents have been over 4 times in 5 years (both births and both 1st birthdays). They've said they aren't coming again, and I don't expect anyone else. I have a friend in Canada who wants to come but is dealing with terminal illness, so there's a very real chance that she will just never be well enough for the flight. No one else has mentioned anything.
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  • we've been here 2.5 yrs. and each set of parents have visited twice.
  • We have been here for a little over a yer and a half and we have had quite a few visitors. My husband's grandmother has been here twice and is going to be here for Christmas. My mom has been here once and will be here for Christmas too. My MIL came last Christmas and she probably will not be back any time soon. I think the fact that we had one baby last year and will be having another one after Christmas is definitely the reason for them coming so often.  


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  • while we lived in London we got a lot of visitors - at least a couple a year

    but now that we're in Australia basically only my parents come, once a year

    it's just too far/expensive for anyone else to come :( thus why we always plan a couple week trip to MN every year to see everyone else in my family

  • Funny, at first, I loved having visitors. For the first few years, I was begging people to visit. Now, I actively discourage it.

    The problem is that when people come alllllll the way here, they usually plan it as their one big chance to go on safari, etc. and assume I will come. I've gone completely broke trying to keep up with my friends and family's trips, and really don't have the time or money any more. I've started referring them to a travel agent, but bless them, everyone who has come assumes that I am going to take two weeks off and spend all of my yearly vacation time and money taking them to see elephants.

    I normally get 2-3 people per year. Last year, it was my godmother, who stayed for nine weeks, a cousin who was here for a week, and three old friends here for ten days. Listen, I adored having them here, but had to make them sit at home while I worked. I tried to get them to go do things on their own, but my efforts are often in vain. 

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  • imagePginSA:

    I normally get 2-3 people per year. Last year, it was my godmother, who stayed for nine weeks, a cousin who was here for a week, and three old friends here for ten days. Listen, I adored having them here, but had to make them sit at home while I worked. I tried to get them to go do things on their own, but my efforts are often in vain. 

     We just had a visitor like this leave.  It was awful.  She wouldn't do anything on her own.  I got sick and had to back out of a trip we'd planned to Cambodia, so she didn't go either.  After that I think I'm done trying to please people.  I can't take a month off of my life every time someone wants to visit Asia.  I've also decided that if someone wants to go to a place that I've already been and/or have no desire to see, they're welcome to go on their own, but I'm not going to force myself to go too.

  • imagePublius:
    imagePginSA:

    I normally get 2-3 people per year. Last year, it was my godmother, who stayed for nine weeks, a cousin who was here for a week, and three old friends here for ten days. Listen, I adored having them here, but had to make them sit at home while I worked. I tried to get them to go do things on their own, but my efforts are often in vain. 

     We just had a visitor like this leave.  It was awful.  She wouldn't do anything on her own.  I got sick and had to back out of a trip we'd planned to Cambodia, so she didn't go either.  After that I think I'm done trying to please people.  I can't take a month off of my life every time someone wants to visit Asia.  I've also decided that if someone wants to go to a place that I've already been and/or have no desire to see, they're welcome to go on their own, but I'm not going to force myself to go too.

    Set the precevent as soon as you can. After so many years of taking everyone to Botswana, people actually seem to get upset when I say I don't have the time or money to go on their once in a lifetime trip. I'd love to if I could, but seriously, it isn't feasible! It's also ruined several attractions for me. Victoria falls is lovely the first three times, even. Being dragged there gets old. The fifteenth time is seriously old. 
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  • When we were in Bangkok for 2 years we only had a handful of visitors: DH's mom and sister, my best friend and her hubby, and about 3 other friends.

    The flights were so long and expensive and you really need at least 10 days with the travel time and jet lag. I wish more had visited, but I understand. Hopefully we'll have more in Africa with the baby, but its not as "glamorous" as a country as Thailand! 

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