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October 2011 Moms
I need an opinion on the stupidest thing ever.
I'm a cancer survivor. A few years ago, I had a cancer awareness post on my FB wall. A girl that I had grown up with in my very small town, and who I thought was a friend, went completely crazy over it and said some pretty hateful & hurtful things in the comments section of the post. Basically, she flamed me in the worst way possible for "putting my health problems in the public eye" because she was having health problems, too, but would never do that. Per the request of nearly all my FB friends who were appalled at what she was saying (people who knew her & people who didn't), I took her comments off. When she realized what I did, she attacked me via private messaging on FB and said some even worse things. I removed her as a friend and blocked her from my FB. I haven't talked to her since. My best girlfriend since I was 7, who also grew up with us & constantly complained about this girl, sided with her. Her reasoning was that she and the girl lived within a mile of each other and she wanted another couple to hang out with since I had moved away from home. She didn't want to cause waves. Our relationship has been pretty strained since then. I actually have been excluded from GTGs when I'm home in favor of this other girl. Seriously.
It turns out that this girl was having severe fertility troubles (which I suspected), and was basically being a bish to everyone. She ended up pregnant with twins right after I had DD. Her babies are a few months old now, all is well with her world, and she's sent me a FB friend request again (I unblocked her maybe a year after this stuff went down). I understand being stressed about something, but I don't understand using it as an excuse to be hateful/hurtful. I feel like just ignoring her request, but know that it'll burn the bridge between my BFF and I even more if I don't add her back. If I accepted her request and she sent me a message acknowledging her douchiness and apologizing for things she called me, I could move past it all and start anew. But, I have a feeling she's just going to stalk me or ask for an apology from me. Which I don't owe. Because I did nothing. I barely defended myself. I'm very happy she finally got her babies, but I just don't think it's my place to be the bigger person here. WDYT? I told you this was stupid. It's just been bothering me for the last few weeks. I actually use FB to keep in touch with my family/friends from home, so it is kind of a big deal even if it's dumb. Remember, I'm also from a very very close-knit small town. So, yea. Small town drama & gossip ain't no lie.
Also, tl;dr. I know. Sorry! 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I need an opinion on the stupidest thing ever.
ITA...I wouldn't open the door for more drama.
First, I'm sorry your bff was such a b!tch about the whole thing. That's ridiculous.
As for your current issue, if you think that ignoring or turning down the request will cause more problems in your social sphere then I would probably accept. The delete button is always there if she ends up being a douche again. I would accept, but not do anything - don't post on her wall, don't send her a message, nothing. Let her make the first move. If she does nothing, you're all set to exist without actually interacting. If she apologizes, explains, expresses regret in any form, great! Obviously she's not going to be your new best buddy, but it's still good if things can be civil and friendly. If she does anything even slightly bitchy (and especially if she demands an apology, wtf), I would give it to her straight and cut your losses. You owe her nothing, and she was hurtful when you were going through a hard time (regardless of the fact that she was going through a hard time, too; that's too bad, but it doesn't change the fact that she was way out of line and your health issues were completely separate from hers.
I can totally understand if you decide to just skip the drama and not bother accepting her request. Just saying what I think I would do.
BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010
BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011
BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013
Thank you. I think I needed to hear this. I worry way too much about other people's feelings. I also worry that when/if we move home again someday, I'll be the big outcast in town because of her. But you're right. I had completely moved on until I saw that stupid request pop up and then it brought it allllll back.
Exactly! I'm also from a small community and have had similar situations occur. I would probably ignore her friend request, but I would accept am apology if given. I would not, as you say, reciprocate any apology since you did nothing to deserve her harassment.
That is a very good point. I was thinking give her the opportunity to apologize/make amends, but she actually already had that opportunity and didn't take it. Disregard my previous post.
BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010
BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011
BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013
I agree with the "keep your enemies closer" part of this, it's so true in small towns, I would probably keep her blocked since you're not in the town... if you were still in town i'd probably add her again, and keep my posts from showing up on her wall in my settings, but that way I could still watch her posts just to keep ahead of her bitchiness, that's what I do with a couple "frienemies" I have on my list.
I'm in the minority here but I'd accept and put her on a limited profile list so she can't see anything but you're still "friends"
I think the issue with this girl and the one with your bff are different issues.
But I really don't give a shiit about fbook requests so I let them hang if I don't know the person or just decline. Blocking gives her something to hold against you. Kill her with kindness, I say.