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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
jenalli2
member
Just found out I'm pregnant again...
jenalli2
member
My son just turned 11 months on the 16th, and I found out I'm pregnant on the 15th... This was not planned, my husband is furious, and I'm feeling a mix of emotions. Any advice is much appreciated.
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Re: Just found out I'm pregnant again...
I was already to say, "squeee super jealous and excited" but I can understand your mix of emotions if it was unplanned.
Does your husband have anything imparticular he's angry or worried about with another baby? money, lack of time, general stress of another baby?
I agree with pp that I hope he's not angry at you, but maybe if you can talk to him about his specific concerns you can come up with a game plan to deal with issues.
Don't know how far along you are, but I would try and have this talk before morning sickness kicks in so that as the pregnancy gets a bit difficult it will help feel like you're on the same team and pulling together, rather than DH being in a huff because a) you're pregnant and b) now you're sick all the time.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
I understand completely (except for the furious husband part). I found out when my now 2 yr old was 11 months old that I was pregnant with my daughter (now 10.5 months).
I was devastated, we tried so hard for him, my cycles weren't regular and I was on fertility meds to get pregnant the first time, we tried for over a year and then all of the sudden, having only done it once that month and not getting my period regularly I was pregnant again. I felt like my first baby was going to get pushed aside, I felt so guilty.
I had really mixed emotions too, I had no idea how I would handle a second baby when my son was still such a baby. I don't have any advice for you but I can tell you this, my kids are exactly 18 months apart, they love each other so much and she was the best gift for him and our family. We've had to make some changes, my husband got a promotion so he works better hours and is home to help me out more and we moved to a larger house to accommodate a second child but after a pregnancy filled with worry it's all worked out.
I hope your husband comes around soon!
I got pg while ebfing (no pumping, no formula, no bottles) on mini pill, never having a period! I had no idea I was pg but my supply dropped and I wasn't feeling good so I went to the dr ( I was almost 3 months pg)
my H was excited but I was furious and anything but excited (my reaction is not PG rated) it takes time to get out of the "oh ***" phase and it wasn't until I was almost in my 3rd trimester before I started to get excited
there were some major perks to having kids close together. All the baby stuff is out and ready ...you don't need much, and you are already in the trenches. My kids love the same things, rarely have jealousy because (like twins) all they ever known was each other, and many more
He feels duped? He knew you were off the pill right? He really has no right to feel this way.
Daycare for two is quite expensive, but if you were planning on having a second, you'll just have to figure out how to pay for the second child earlier than you would have. You could also consider a nanny, which might be cheaper than daycare for two kids.
Good luck! Visit the 2 under 2 board for some ideas and inspiration.
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. -Philo
Baby N conceived after 1 miscarriage and more than 2 years of TTC. Diagnosis was low sperm count. We found success after 3 months of anastrozole to increase DH's testosterone and one IUI.
Some charts
I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. You're very good-looking. I'm not attractive. - Happy Gilmore
to bag his shlt up.
and with that ... i spit wine out my nose and all over the computer. thanks for the laugh, i needed that!
I'm sorry your husband is furious. That is a terrible reaction to finding out your wife is pregnant. Even if it's unplanned, I can imagine being scared, or worried, but furious? That's effed up.
I got pregnant when DD was 9 months and it's been awesome having the girls 18 months apart. I hope it all works out for you.
http://balletandbabies.blogspot.com
I understand what you are feeling. I just found in Oct that I am due with our second in June. My DD is 9mo, and the two will be 16m apart. We just moved to a new country, and really the only reason I found out was because I wanted to have an IUD put in and they always run an HCG test as a precaution. I remember getting the results and literally crying on the bus out of shock, fear, and so many other emotions.
I was terrified of telling my husband, thankfully he was supportive, but I thought he was going to pass out. Both of us are terrified and have mixed feelings about having kids this close together, how we are going to afford it, etc. It's really scary and that overshadows the excitement, a lot. For both of us. I'm not saying that your husband's reaction was a good one, or ideal, but unfortunately, people manifest their emotions differently. It's sad, and emotionally hard to bear for you, but provided he wasn't abusive, verbally or physically, I think you need to let his emotion run their course and try not to take it personally. Try to be proactive, show a budget, but don't push anything. Good luck!