Marrying your 3rd cousin

stephlas8 · January 2012

[Poll]

ateal2490 · January 2012

I wish I could vote for three...that's totally weird, gross, and WHAT!?

stephlas8 · January 2012

What's the special snowflake? I'm dying to know!

Monkeybabe · January 2012

My cousins are married. They aren't on the same side of the family, though. One is my third cousin(?) on my mom's side and the other is my first cousin on my dad's side. They didn't grow up together or anything and their only connection is my parents' marriage, but they still get some side eyes because of it.

stephlas8 · January 2012

Monkeybabe:
My cousins are married. They aren't on the same side of the family, though. One is my third cousin(?) on my mom's side and the other is my first cousin on my dad's side. They didn't grow up together or anything and their only connection is my parents' marriage, but they still get some side eyes because of it.

There's no blood relation. Not as weird.

JFH2010 · January 2012

I'm in the minority, but I think 3rd cousin is reasonably distant. I'm trying to think what that would mean...my cousin's child's child? But that doesn't make sense age-wise. I don't know, but it doesn't really weird me out. The name thing is too bad, though!

gisa886 · January 2012

If it is by blood I think it is a little odd

Monkeybabe · January 2012

JFH2010:I'm in the minority, but I think 3rd cousin is reasonably distant. I'm trying to think what that would mean...my cousin's child's child? But that doesn't make sense age-wise. I don't know, but it doesn't really weird me out. The name thing is too bad, though!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin

The whole cousins thing has always confused the hell out of me. So apparently, my cousin, mentioned previously, is my second cousin, as we share great grandparents. In order to be 3rd cousins, they would share great-great grandparents.

ETA: quote fail

Heddarc · January 2012

I work with a guy who dated his second cousin, they had the same last name. Now, that's weird!

JFH2010 · January 2012

Monkeybabe:
JFH2010:
I'm in the minority, but I think 3rd cousin is reasonably distant. I'm trying to think what that would mean...my cousin's child's child? But that doesn't make sense age-wise. I don't know, but it doesn't really weird me out. The name thing is too bad, though!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin

The whole cousins thing has always confused the hell out of me. So apparently, my cousin, mentioned previously, is my second cousin, as we share great grandparents. In order to be 3rd cousins, they would share great-great grandparents.

ETA: quote fail

I just found this chart too (because I have nothing better to do than look up cousin charts, ha ha):

https://ekfamily.net/wordpress/index.php/category/blah/page/3/

So my third cousin would be the great-grandchild a sibling of my great-grandparent. That's plenty of distance to me. After all, keep going back and we're all related.

tiannalee · January 2012

Monkeybabe:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin
The whole cousins thing has always confused the hell out of me. So apparently, my cousin, mentioned previously, is my second cousin, as we share great grandparents. In order to be 3rd cousins, they would share great-great grandparents.
ETA: quote fail

I went to middle and high school with a guy who I always thought was so hot. Nothing ever came of it and one day my gran and dad were chatting and my gran said his last name. It wasnt a common last name so I inquired and came to find out that we had the same great-grandparents and as such, we were 'related'. I didnt know until I read the post above that it makes us 3rd cousins. But seriously, we had never ever been at the same family functions - not even weddings or funerals. I would never have known if it wasnt for overhearing that conversation. I think 3rd cousins are pretty distant and if you dont grow up knowing that you are related, I could totally understand getting together. BUT having said that, if you grew up knowing you were related, well, that is kinda weird.

Tambcat · January 2012

I don't even know who or where my third cousins are.

That's a distant enough relationship not to bother me from a biological perspective, but I guess it would be weird if they grew up going to the same family GTGs or something.

eta: I guess as a disclaimer I should say that I don't really get that freaked out about first cousin marriages either.. not that I would want to marry any of my cousins!

huahualove · January 2012

Honestly, a lot of my 3rd cousins I'm closer to than my 1st cousins.

stephlas8 · January 2012

Tambcat:
I don't even know who my third cousins are.

Me neither... I'm reading this thread on facebook and they met through a family reunion. It just keeps getting more and more bizarre to me.

dojo1 · January 2012

I'm a Ss because I can logically understand that the genetic distance is there, but the social stigma of marrying within the family is too great for me to ignore. Plus, I think things can go sour and it can have a negative impact on other family relationships.

SoonToBeMrsDTS · January 2012

I think it depends a lot on if they kne each other growing up. A woman I know found out that she and her husband were 4th cousins 15 YEARS after they got married.

I know some of my extended family (3rd and 4th cousins) pretty well on my mom's side and I can't imagine being attracted to any of them because I think of them as family members. I don't even know a lot of my second cousins on my dad's side so who knows what would happen if I met one of them on the street.

TaylorandMel · January 2012

if you have ANY of the same relatives, you should not be marrying one another.

katieh1017 · January 2012

I think any blood relatives getting married is gross. I don't care if you know them or not.

JFH2010 · January 2012

katieh1017:
I think any blood relatives getting married is gross. I don't care if you know them or not.

It's not that simple - how far back will you go before you don't find it "gross"? Blood relation is quantifiable, not either/or. I can date my ancestry (on one side) to the 1500s. Is it gross if I find out that my husband and I shared an ancestor in the 1500s? What about the 1200s? How far back? I can see that 3rd cousins is not the same, but I'm just saying, it's a question of how far back you have to go for you to find it acceptable.

eav2c · January 2012

In Tennessee, you can marry your FIRST cousin >.> So, essentially, my LO could marry my brothers LO. YUCK!

katieh1017 · January 2012

JFH2010:
katieh1017:
I think any blood relatives getting married is gross. I don't care if you know them or not.
It's not that simple - how far back will you go before you don't find it "gross"? Blood relation is quantifiable, not either/or. I can date my ancestry (on one side) to the 1500s. Is it gross if I find out that my husband and I shared an ancestor in the 1500s? What about the 1200s? How far back? I can see that 3rd cousins is not the same, but I'm just saying, it's a question of how far back you have to go for you to find it acceptable.

Going back to the 1500s is not gross. But yes a 3rd cousin to me is too close. I don't know honestly where I would draw the line on acceptable, I was more along the lines of closer than 'distant' relatives being in gross status.

pensparade · January 2012

I can't decide. I feel like naturally it is just weird but I don't even KNOW who my third cousins are. I think it's pretty distant.

stephlas8 · January 2012

pensparade:
I can't decide. I feel like naturally it is just weird but I don't even KNOW who my third cousins are. I think it's pretty distant.

I was wondering where you have been Pen! I don't know my third cousins but I also think in small town SC meeting at a family reunion and getting married and reproducing 5 years later is just over the top for me. I learned all this tonight on FB- she was laughing about it. I dunno. Its weird.

FusionLMT · January 2012

SS: If they were raised as cousins/family then I think it is weird, but if they met as adults then not quite so weird.

lnh3971 · January 2012

Although it sounds like they knew this when they got into the relationship- I chose SS b/c my parents are actually 3rd cousins like twice or three times removed (not exactly sure what that means). They had NO idea until I had to do a family tree for school and realized it joined together at one point.

lnh3971 · January 2012

stephlas8:

Tambcat:
I don't even know who my third cousins are.

Me neither... I'm reading this thread on facebook and they met through a family reunion. It just keeps getting more and more bizarre to me.

OK, now THAT is weird. You don't meet someone at a family reunion!

BigAppleBiggerBelly · January 2012

I work with a lot of Afghan and Pakistani immigrants, and in many regions there, it is considered very fortunate to marry your cousin. That way, you already know your in-laws, and the whole family is involved in keeping your marriage together. It always catches me a little off-guard when a client is gushing about how wonderful it is that her son is engaged to her sister's daughter, but I just have to smile and put my personal qualms aside.

I try to tell myself that it was good enough for European royalty for all of those generations...well, aside from those unfortunate Habsburgs.

tonywhite940 · June 2012

According to biology, all humans are blooded related to each others.

Tambcat · June 2012

Guess somebody's marrying her cousin...

KFCupcake · June 2012

Tambcat:
Guess somebody's marrying her cousin...

Bwahaha! Why did someone create a profile just to leave a random comment on a post from January? Weirdo.

itmisc2006 · November 2012

All humans are relative of each others. We are all descended from Africa.

itmisc2006 · November 2012

All humans are blood relatives of each others. It does not matter if you don't know each others.

itmisc2006 · November 2012

We all are breeding with our relatives... hahaha

itmisc2006 · November 2012

I think if you never met each others till adult, then it is like meeting a stranger.

itmisc2006 · November 2012

tiannalee: I am in the same situation as you. I only met my 3rd cousin once when she was about 6 years old. I met her again when she was 29 and I was 34. Oh my god she is the most attractive gal I had ever met!!!

itmisc2006 · December 2012

JFH2010, You are a good and understanding woman.

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