Adoption

Has anyone got lied to by their agency about a potential birthmother?

My husband and I were taking adoption classes with another couple. Between classes, the other couple had found a birthmom who was expecting twins. She wanted them to tell the good news to us, and that she had good news about a birthmom who was also expecting that she would introduce us to. She could not give us details, which sometimes it is understandable but to the point where we had a gut feeling that she was lying to us just to make us feel better about the other couple finding a birthmom so quickly.

 Has anyone else been lied to about a potential birthmom?

 

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Re: Has anyone got lied to by their agency about a potential birthmother?

  • I did not adopt domestically, so this didn't happen to me.  I just want to urge you to run from any agency you think might be lying to you.  This is too important a process, and they have too much control over how you life may turn out.  If they lie to you about something like this, who's to say they won't lie to you about the circumstances of the adoption or the baby's health?
  • That's odd.  My agency never felt the need to lie to me about potential birthparents.  I don't even understand why an adoption worker would even do that, it makes no sense.  I might call her supervisor and discuss this with them.  It just sounds weird.

    TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we moved on to adoption! 

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    Last ditch FET resulted in BFP, and identical twin girls!

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  • I'd find out details before jumping to the conclusion that you're being lied to. But yes, trust your gut.

    We weren't lied to. We had a short wait--we were matched 3.5 months after going active. But our SW just checked in with us occasionally on any activity, and called us when we were matched. It was pretty straightforward. She was actually pretty blunt about things during the process in terms of wait, etc. We appreciated that.

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