Active duty paternity leave?

amb04006 · November 2012

My husband is active duty military. Do any of you happen to know what kind of leave the father gets once the baby is born? I know FMLA is 12 weeks, but does this apply to active duty? I've tried to research online, and google has failed me. I've asked him. He doesn't know, and doesn't seem too concerned to find out until it gets closer. Just curious if any of you know so I can put my mind at rest. I'm kind of hoping he can take the full 12 weeks, so that I can go back to work after 6 weeks and not have to put the baby in daycare (none of my maternity leave is paid, and I make well over twice what he makes, so it makes sense for me to go back to work first).

BLT20051 · November 2012

There is no actual leave policy. Most branches will offer 10 days if the command signs off on it. Other than that it is whatever leave he has accrued and his command will let him take.

meltoine · November 2012

FMLA does not apply to the military. He MIGHT get ten days. Like BLT said, it's up to his command.

MiahT · November 2012

Since October 2009 the DoD has authorized paternity leave for married active duty - upon approval from his command your DH should be eligible to get ten consecutive days of non-chargeable leave that must be taken within forty-five days of the birth of your LO. That's not counting any leave he's earned that he might want to take in addition.

ufsandra85 · November 2012

MiahT:
Since October 2009 the DoD has authorized paternity leave for married active duty - upon approval from his command your DH should be eligible to get ten consecutive days of non-chargeable leave that must be taken within forty-five days of the birth of your LO. That's not counting any leave he's earned that he might want to take in addition.

i thought it was within a year. for example if your husband is deployed the first 6 months he can take it when he gets home but before the child turns 1

Lissa832 · November 2012

My first reaction was "ah ha ha ha ha ha." 12 weeks? Dream on, lol. With as stringent as the military is, you can't really believe that he would be allowed 12 weeks of leave. USMC gets 10 days baby leave, and that is not guaranteed. It is based on your command, and then it might not even be 10 consecutive days.

meltoine · November 2012

Lissa832:
My first reaction was "ah ha ha ha ha ha." 12 weeks? Dream on, lol. With as stringent as the military is, you can't really believe that he would be allowed 12 weeks of leave. USMC gets 10 days baby leave, and that is not guaranteed. It is based on your command, and then it might not even be 10 consecutive days.

Honestly, this was my reaction too. But I was trying to be nice. But seriously, OP, most women, who actually give birth and need to physically recover, don't get 12 weeks, and you thought your husband would? Really?

Gismo123 · November 2012

Igoo0304:
Bacon+lettuce+tomato:
There is no actual leave policy. Most branches will offer 10 days if the command signs off on it. Other than that it is whatever leave he has accrued and his command will let him take.
yep. 10 consecutive days. When DS was born, H's command didn't even let him start his until the baby was a few days old.

This...DH's Paternity was 10 consecutive days and started the day the baby and I were discharged from the hospital. It's command discretion.

MiahT · November 2012

ufsandra85:
MiahT:
Since October 2009 the DoD has authorized paternity leave for married active duty - upon approval from his command your DH should be eligible to get ten consecutive days of non-chargeable leave that must be taken within forty-five days of the birth of your LO. That's not counting any leave he's earned that he might want to take in addition.
i thought it was within a year. for example if your husband is deployed the first 6 months he can take it when he gets home but before the child turns 1

I know the regs are slightly different if your husband is deployed when the baby is born. I think he has sixty days after redeployment to take his paternity leave, but I don't know if that only applies before the LO turns one. I would think it wouldn't since I know there have been 15 and 18 month deployments and it would be a shame if those soldiers had missed out on spending that extra ten days with their new LOs.

Lissa832 · November 2012

I will add that you can have really awesome commands that will be nicer than others. For example, dd was born on a Wednesday. Baby leave is supposed to start right away. They didn't put it in until Monday to give a few extra free days. In addition, DH took 3 weeks of his annual leave after his baby leave. He was off work for more than a month. You don't find many commands who are that awesome. If you are looking to stagger the transition, have your DH take 2+ weeks of annual leave right before you go to work. That will give your LO some daddy time, and give you more time to adjust to being at work before the baby has to start daycare.

loolabell15 · November 2012

My DH got 10 days.

amb04006 · November 2012

meltoine:
Lissa832:
My first reaction was "ah ha ha ha ha ha." 12 weeks? Dream on, lol.  With as stringent as the military is, you can't really believe that he would be allowed 12 weeks of leave. USMC gets 10 days baby leave, and that is not guaranteed. It is based on your command, and then it might not even be 10 consecutive days. 
Honestly, this was my reaction too. But I was trying to be nice. But seriously, OP, most women, who actually give birth and need to physically recover, don't get 12 weeks, and you thought your husband would? Really? 

But seriously, have you ever READ the FMLA laws? All women, and their husbands, both can take the full 12 weeks. Whether they choose to or not is up to them. Clearly I was asking because I thought it wouldn't apply to the military.

Thanks to everyone else who gave a real answer. I appreciate it.

LSUnoelle1220 · November 2012

My H got the 10 days paternity leave, but his command was pretty awesome and didn't have it start for several days. LO was born on Thursday, out of hospital on Saturday, but had to come back to have his bilirubin checked Sun, Mon, and Tuesday. The commander said his leave wouldn't start until we didn't have those daily appointments...so Wednesday. And they only counted the work days, not weekends. So he got lots of time off to stay home and help out. m

We're in a similar situation...I make way more than he does, and will be going back after 6 weeks. We will be putting our LO in the CDC on base where I work as a civilian. As much as I hate to have him there at 6 weeks old, at least I will be close.

amb04006 · November 2012

LSUnoelle1220:
My H got the 10 days paternity leave, but his command was pretty awesome and didn't have it start for several days. LO was born on Thursday, out of hospital on Saturday, but had to come back to have his bilirubin checked Sun, Mon, and Tuesday. The commander said his leave wouldn't start until we didn't have those daily appointments...so Wednesday. And they only counted the work days, not weekends. So he got lots of time off to stay home and help out. mWe're in a similar situation...I make way more than he does, and will be going back after 6 weeks. We will be putting our LO in the CDC on base where I work as a civilian. As much as I hate to have him there at 6 weeks old, at least I will be close.nbsp;

Wow, that is awesome! I picture my husband's command being similar to yours. They're very lenient and familyoriented. And that's nice that you can be so close and go check on baby whenever you want. I work about 40 minutes from where we live, and we'll be putting the baby in a daycare in the town we live in, so we definitely won't have that luxury :. Enjoy that as much as possible!

hansonam446 · November 2012

meltoine:
Lissa832:
My first reaction was "ah ha ha ha ha ha." 12 weeks? Dream on, lol. With as stringent as the military is, you can't really believe that he would be allowed 12 weeks of leave. USMC gets 10 days baby leave, and that is not guaranteed. It is based on your command, and then it might not even be 10 consecutive days.
Honestly, this was my reaction too. But I was trying to be nice. But seriously, OP, most women, who actually give birth and need to physically recover, don't get 12 weeks, and you thought your husband would? Really?

Also thought this.

hansonam446 · November 2012

amb04006:
meltoine:
Lissa832:
My first reaction was "ah ha ha ha ha ha." 12 weeks? Dream on, lol. With as stringent as the military is, you can't really believe that he would be allowed 12 weeks of leave. USMC gets 10 days baby leave, and that is not guaranteed. It is based on your command, and then it might not even be 10 consecutive days.
Honestly, this was my reaction too. But I was trying to be nice. But seriously, OP, most women, who actually give birth and need to physically recover, don't get 12 weeks, and you thought your husband would? Really?
But seriously, have you ever READ the FMLA laws? All women, and their husbands, both can take the full 12 weeks. Whether they choose to or not is up to them. Clearly I was asking because I thought it wouldn't apply to the military. Thanks to everyone else who gave a real answer. I appreciate it.

Everyone DID give real answers, OP. No need to get snippy and they weren't particularly snarky about the answer you didn't like. For women who have been familiar with the military for awhile it's just funny to think they'd get 12 weeks of leave. Chill out.

amb04006 · November 2012

hansonam446:
amb04006:
meltoine:

Lissa832:
My first reaction was "ah ha ha ha ha ha." 12 weeks? Dream on, lol. With as stringent as the military is, you can't really believe that he would be allowed 12 weeks of leave. USMC gets 10 days baby leave, and that is not guaranteed. It is based on your command, and then it might not even be 10 consecutive days.

Honestly, this was my reaction too. But I was trying to be nice. But seriously, OP, most women, who actually give birth and need to physically recover, don't get 12 weeks, and you thought your husband would? Really?

But seriously, have you ever READ the FMLA laws? All women, and their husbands, both can take the full 12 weeks. Whether they choose to or not is up to them. Clearly I was asking because I thought it wouldn't apply to the military. Thanks to everyone else who gave a real answer. I appreciate it.

Everyone DID give real answers, OP. No need to get snippy and they weren't particularly snarky about the answer you didn't like. For women who have been familiar with the military for awhile it's just funny to think they'd get 12 weeks of leave. Chill out.

Blah blah blah blah blah is all I'm reading there. Let me chill out pronto, because I'm all worked up and stuff.

Lissa832 · November 2012

amb04006:
hansonam446:
amb04006:
meltoine:

Lissa832:
My first reaction was "ah ha ha ha ha ha." 12 weeks? Dream on, lol. With as stringent as the military is, you can't really believe that he would be allowed 12 weeks of leave. USMC gets 10 days baby leave, and that is not guaranteed. It is based on your command, and then it might not even be 10 consecutive days.

Honestly, this was my reaction too. But I was trying to be nice. But seriously, OP, most women, who actually give birth and need to physically recover, don't get 12 weeks, and you thought your husband would? Really?

But seriously, have you ever READ the FMLA laws? All women, and their husbands, both can take the full 12 weeks. Whether they choose to or not is up to them. Clearly I was asking because I thought it wouldn't apply to the military. Thanks to everyone else who gave a real answer. I appreciate it.

Everyone DID give real answers, OP. No need to get snippy and they weren't particularly snarky about the answer you didn't like. For women who have been familiar with the military for awhile it's just funny to think they'd get 12 weeks of leave. Chill out.

Blah blah blah blah blah is all I'm reading there. Let me chill out pronto, because I'm all worked up and stuff.

Well isn't that the picture of maturity right there. I'm guessing you are fairly young.

First and foremost, I wasn't even trying to be snarky. I have a sarcastic sense of humor, and anyone with any experience with the military thought it was funny that you actually thought it was a possibility. I'd say you have a lot to learn about the military life. it was a real answer. Get a sense of humor.

Lissa832 · November 2012

AD women who have the babies don't even get 12 weeks off, so dads definitely don't.

hansonam446 · November 2012

Lissa832:
amb04006:
hansonam446:
amb04006:
meltoine:

Lissa832:
My first reaction was "ah ha ha ha ha ha." 12 weeks? Dream on, lol. With as stringent as the military is, you can't really believe that he would be allowed 12 weeks of leave. USMC gets 10 days baby leave, and that is not guaranteed. It is based on your command, and then it might not even be 10 consecutive days.

Honestly, this was my reaction too. But I was trying to be nice. But seriously, OP, most women, who actually give birth and need to physically recover, don't get 12 weeks, and you thought your husband would? Really?

But seriously, have you ever READ the FMLA laws? All women, and their husbands, both can take the full 12 weeks. Whether they choose to or not is up to them. Clearly I was asking because I thought it wouldn't apply to the military. Thanks to everyone else who gave a real answer. I appreciate it.

Everyone DID give real answers, OP. No need to get snippy and they weren't particularly snarky about the answer you didn't like. For women who have been familiar with the military for awhile it's just funny to think they'd get 12 weeks of leave. Chill out.

Blah blah blah blah blah is all I'm reading there. Let me chill out pronto, because I'm all worked up and stuff.
Well isn't that the picture of maturity right there. I'm guessing you are fairly young.
First and foremost, I wasn't even trying to be snarky. I have a sarcastic sense of humor, and anyone with any experience with the military thought it was funny that you actually thought it was a possibility. I'd say you have a lot to learn about the military life. it was a real answer. Get a sense of humor.

Yes I also sense butthurt for no particular reason.

sweetpea2003 · November 2012

amb04006:
meltoine:

Lissa832:
My first reaction was "ah ha ha ha ha ha." 12 weeks? Dream on, lol. With as stringent as the military is, you can't really believe that he would be allowed 12 weeks of leave. USMC gets 10 days baby leave, and that is not guaranteed. It is based on your command, and then it might not even be 10 consecutive days.

Honestly, this was my reaction too. But I was trying to be nice. But seriously, OP, most women, who actually give birth and need to physically recover, don't get 12 weeks, and you thought your husband would? Really?

But seriously, have you ever READ the FMLA laws? All women, and their husbands, both can take the full 12 weeks. Whether they choose to or not is up to them. Clearly I was asking because I thought it wouldn't apply to the military. Thanks to everyone else who gave a real answer. I appreciate it.

Yes. But FMLA is UNPAID leave. So even if military could take it, your DH wouldn't get a paycheck.

To answer your question, DH got 10 days of un-charged, consecutive leave. It is honestly a better leave policy than most employers have. Most US employers don't have any maternity/paternity leave (other than FMLA, which again, is unpaid).

MiahT · November 2012

DH's command was extremely lenient in regards to granting leave for us. They approved the ten days paternity leave in addition to a week's emergency leave due to my being hospitalized for preeclampsia and then an emergency induction at thirty-seven weeks, and another ten days of permissive TDY two weeks after LOs birth because I had to be readmitted to the hospital again due to postpartum preeclampsia complications. My OB wrote a note for DH's command in both of the extra leave instances, recommending that he be allowed to be at the hospital and then at home to take care of the LO while I was on bed rest, but ultimately it was up to his command as to whether or not they'd allow him the time off and they could have asked him to use some of his accrued leave instead of authorizing the permissive TDY.

BeachM · November 2012

DH got 10 days as well. He was on shore duty at a wonderful command and was basically able to come home whenever I needed him to (within reason) and came to every doctor's appointment. LOL now we are back to reality with sea duty and it's a wee bit different.

Based on my experience and friend's experiences, it all depends on the command.

amb04006 · November 2012

Lissa832:
amb04006:
hansonam446:
amb04006:
meltoine:

Lissa832:
My first reaction was "ah ha ha ha ha ha." 12 weeks? Dream on, lol. With as stringent as the military is, you can't really believe that he would be allowed 12 weeks of leave. USMC gets 10 days baby leave, and that is not guaranteed. It is based on your command, and then it might not even be 10 consecutive days.

Honestly, this was my reaction too. But I was trying to be nice. But seriously, OP, most women, who actually give birth and need to physically recover, don't get 12 weeks, and you thought your husband would? Really?

But seriously, have you ever READ the FMLA laws? All women, and their husbands, both can take the full 12 weeks. Whether they choose to or not is up to them. Clearly I was asking because I thought it wouldn't apply to the military. Thanks to everyone else who gave a real answer. I appreciate it.

Everyone DID give real answers, OP. No need to get snippy and they weren't particularly snarky about the answer you didn't like. For women who have been familiar with the military for awhile it's just funny to think they'd get 12 weeks of leave. Chill out.

Blah blah blah blah blah is all I'm reading there. Let me chill out pronto, because I'm all worked up and stuff.

Well isn't that the picture of maturity right there. I'm guessing you are fairly young.

First and foremost, I wasn't even trying to be snarky. I have a sarcastic sense of humor, and anyone with any experience with the military thought it was funny that you actually thought it was a possibility. I'd say you have a lot to learn about the military life. it was a real answer. Get a sense of humor.

Young, immature, butthurt. You just summed up my whole life in 3 words. You must be an old, mature, non-butthurt lady to do all of that over the internet. Impressive.

Lissa832 · November 2012

amb04006:
Lissa832:
amb04006:
hansonam446:
amb04006:
meltoine:

Lissa832:
My first reaction was "ah ha ha ha ha ha." 12 weeks? Dream on, lol. With as stringent as the military is, you can't really believe that he would be allowed 12 weeks of leave. USMC gets 10 days baby leave, and that is not guaranteed. It is based on your command, and then it might not even be 10 consecutive days.

Honestly, this was my reaction too. But I was trying to be nice. But seriously, OP, most women, who actually give birth and need to physically recover, don't get 12 weeks, and you thought your husband would? Really?

But seriously, have you ever READ the FMLA laws? All women, and their husbands, both can take the full 12 weeks. Whether they choose to or not is up to them. Clearly I was asking because I thought it wouldn't apply to the military. Thanks to everyone else who gave a real answer. I appreciate it.

Everyone DID give real answers, OP. No need to get snippy and they weren't particularly snarky about the answer you didn't like. For women who have been familiar with the military for awhile it's just funny to think they'd get 12 weeks of leave. Chill out.

Blah blah blah blah blah is all I'm reading there. Let me chill out pronto, because I'm all worked up and stuff.

Well isn't that the picture of maturity right there. I'm guessing you are fairly young.

First and foremost, I wasn't even trying to be snarky. I have a sarcastic sense of humor, and anyone with any experience with the military thought it was funny that you actually thought it was a possibility. I'd say you have a lot to learn about the military life. it was a real answer. Get a sense of humor.

Young, immature, butthurt. You just summed up my whole life in 3 words. You must be an old, mature, non-butthurt lady to do all of that over the internet. Impressive.

Well. To be fair, I only implied you were young and lacked maturity. Butthurt wasn't my gem. So, I can only take credit for the two. But yes.i am rather impressive, lol.

Here I sit, pushing 30 in a couple months, and I am considered old in the military. It boggles my mind at times. You strike me as a young, freshly married woman. You have a long ways to go. That is not an insult. We all started out with ideas of grandeur, and each was smashed down just as quickly as yours was. I have a decade of knowledge than one can only earn through time. You can take the classes offered to learn the histories, but nothing is a greater lesson than living it.

Don't be so sensitive. Learn to have a sense of humor. If your H is still in in 10 years, I hope someone asks this question. Why? Because all you're going to want to do is pat her on the top of the head and say, "Aww. That's sweet."

This is a public forum after all, but it can be so much more for many women. Friendships have been created through these boards. An abundance of information can be distributed to those who need it. I can't tell you how many spouses were schooled here about the importance of OPSEC/PERSEC. So I get that you may not understand sarcasm, or you might just find it offensive. Either way, get used to it. You will encounter every different personality out there while your H is serving. Just let it roll off.

LN1024 · November 2012

Lissa832:
AD women who have the babies don't even get 12 weeks off, so dads definitely don't.

This. Moms are back to work in the military after 42 days. They are still non-deployable for 180 days (which can be waived at 4 months), but 42 days off is what we get. The 10 days paternity leave was designed to give dad sometime at home, but as PPs have said, there is no guarantee. I would have him try o start figuring it out earlier in the pregnancy, rather than later. He needs to make sure his chain of command is aware you are pregnant, which could be beneficial in the long run.

meltoine · November 2012

And, I have actually read the FMLA law. Most employers are exempt from following it for one reason or another. Almost no one gets 12 weeks of leave in this country, and if mothers don't, fathers definitely don't.

Lissa832 · November 2012

meltoine:
And, I have actually read the FMLA law. Most employers are exempt from following it for one reason or another. Almost no one gets 12 weeks of leave in this country, and if mothers don't, fathers definitely don't.

This. Exactly.

hansonam446 · November 2012

amb04006:
Lissa832:
amb04006:
hansonam446:
amb04006:
meltoine:

Lissa832:
My first reaction was "ah ha ha ha ha ha." 12 weeks? Dream on, lol. With as stringent as the military is, you can't really believe that he would be allowed 12 weeks of leave. USMC gets 10 days baby leave, and that is not guaranteed. It is based on your command, and then it might not even be 10 consecutive days.

Honestly, this was my reaction too. But I was trying to be nice. But seriously, OP, most women, who actually give birth and need to physically recover, don't get 12 weeks, and you thought your husband would? Really?

But seriously, have you ever READ the FMLA laws? All women, and their husbands, both can take the full 12 weeks. Whether they choose to or not is up to them. Clearly I was asking because I thought it wouldn't apply to the military. Thanks to everyone else who gave a real answer. I appreciate it.

Everyone DID give real answers, OP. No need to get snippy and they weren't particularly snarky about the answer you didn't like. For women who have been familiar with the military for awhile it's just funny to think they'd get 12 weeks of leave. Chill out.

Blah blah blah blah blah is all I'm reading there. Let me chill out pronto, because I'm all worked up and stuff.

Well isn't that the picture of maturity right there. I'm guessing you are fairly young.

First and foremost, I wasn't even trying to be snarky. I have a sarcastic sense of humor, and anyone with any experience with the military thought it was funny that you actually thought it was a possibility. I'd say you have a lot to learn about the military life. it was a real answer. Get a sense of humor.

Young, immature, butthurt. You just summed up my whole life in 3 words. You must be an old, mature, non-butthurt lady to do all of that over the internet. Impressive.

For the record I mentioned you being butthurt. Which you obviously still are. It'll be ok, boo boo.

Linz-E · November 2012

Lissa832:
I will add that you can have really awesome commands that will be nicer than others. For example, dd was born on a Wednesday. Baby leave is supposed to start right away. They didn't put it in until Monday to give a few extra free days. In addition, DH took 3 weeks of his annual leave after his baby leave. He was off work for more than a month. You don't find many commands who are that awesome. If you are looking to stagger the transition, have your DH take 2+ weeks of annual leave right before you go to work. That will give your LO some daddy time, and give you more time to adjust to being at work before the baby has to start daycare.

DH is AD USMC and this is what they did for us also. He had also pulled extra weight in the unit planning the ball and running T4T consecutively. He ended up getting 6 weeks total. That was last duty station, I can tell you where we are currently we would be lucky to get ten days. GL.

ufsandra85 · November 2012

https://www.public.navy.mil/BUPERS-NPC/SUPPORT/TFLW/Pages/PaternityLeave.aspx

PatsyGK21 · November 2012

I have a scheduled c-section, so DH asked around, because we heard about the 10day paternity leave, they told him he can use the leave days he has accquired (thats probably spelt wrong haha) and he wont be granted the "free" ten days. It really does depend on where you are and the command, just have hubby ask around. Good luck!

MiahT · November 2012

PatsyGK21:
I have a scheduled c-section, so DH asked around, because we heard about the 10day paternity leave, they told him he can use the leave days he has accquired (thats probably spelt wrong haha) and he wont be granted the "free" ten days. It really does depend on where you are and the command, just have hubby ask around. Good luck!

DH's command tried to tell him something similar so I looked up the ALARACT 062/2009 Army Guidance for Paternity Leave for the Fiscal Year of 2009 (with no current expiration date). I would suggest googling it so that your DH can bring the reg to his command's attention. That's what we had to do. It turned out to simply be a matter of his first sergeant being unaware of the details of the reg. I don't know if your DH is Army or one of the other branches, but from what I understand all branches have similar (but not necessarily identical) policies, so you should be able to find details on-line if needed.

BLT20051 · November 2012

MiahT:

PatsyGK21:
I have a scheduled c-section, so DH asked around, because we heard about the 10day paternity leave, they told him he can use the leave days he has accquired (thats probably spelt wrong haha) and he wont be granted the "free" ten days. It really does depend on where you are and the command, just have hubby ask around. Good luck!

DH's command tried to tell him something similar so I looked up the ALARACT 062/2009 Army Guidance for Paternity Leave for the Fiscal Year of 2009 (with no current expiration date). I would suggest googling it so that your DH can bring the reg to his command's attention. That's what we had to do. It turned out to simply be a matter of his first sergeant being unaware of the details of the reg. I don't know if your DH is Army or one of the other branches, but from what I understand all branches have similar (but not necessarily identical) policies, so you should be able to find details on-line if needed.

Let me re-emphasize this. Paternity leave is not guaranteed. It CAN be denied by a command. Heck, passes and regular leave can be denied by command. Do NOT go into this thinking YH is entitled to 10 free days of leave, he is not.

iluvmytxrgr · November 2012

Bacon+lettuce+tomato:
MiahT:

PatsyGK21:
I have a scheduled c-section, so DH asked around, because we heard about the 10day paternity leave, they told him he can use the leave days he has accquired (thats probably spelt wrong haha) and he wont be granted the "free" ten days. It really does depend on where you are and the command, just have hubby ask around. Good luck!

DH's command tried to tell him something similar so I looked up the ALARACT 062/2009 Army Guidance for Paternity Leave for the Fiscal Year of 2009 (with no current expiration date). I would suggest googling it so that your DH can bring the reg to his command's attention. That's what we had to do. It turned out to simply be a matter of his first sergeant being unaware of the details of the reg. I don't know if your DH is Army or one of the other branches, but from what I understand all branches have similar (but not necessarily identical) policies, so you should be able to find details on-line if needed.

Let me re-emphasize this. Paternity leave is not guaranteed. It CAN be denied by a command. Heck, passes and regular leave can be denied by command. Do NOT go into this thinking YH is entitled to 10 free days of leave, he is not.

This.

One of my kids was born on a Monday. MH had to go back to work the following Monday. My youngest was born on a Friday. Because it was a few days before Christmas, he had those days off. He was back to work the following Thursday. He was not able to use leave days because they have set leave dates they can take. His training schedule didn't allow for him to have the full 10 days. Don't count on them.

amb04006 · November 2012

hansonam446:
amb04006:
Lissa832:
amb04006:
hansonam446:
amb04006:
meltoine:

Lissa832:
My first reaction was "ah ha ha ha ha ha." 12 weeks? Dream on, lol. With as stringent as the military is, you can't really believe that he would be allowed 12 weeks of leave. USMC gets 10 days baby leave, and that is not guaranteed. It is based on your command, and then it might not even be 10 consecutive days.

Honestly, this was my reaction too. But I was trying to be nice. But seriously, OP, most women, who actually give birth and need to physically recover, don't get 12 weeks, and you thought your husband would? Really?

But seriously, have you ever READ the FMLA laws? All women, and their husbands, both can take the full 12 weeks. Whether they choose to or not is up to them. Clearly I was asking because I thought it wouldn't apply to the military. Thanks to everyone else who gave a real answer. I appreciate it.

Everyone DID give real answers, OP. No need to get snippy and they weren't particularly snarky about the answer you didn't like. For women who have been familiar with the military for awhile it's just funny to think they'd get 12 weeks of leave. Chill out.

Blah blah blah blah blah is all I'm reading there. Let me chill out pronto, because I'm all worked up and stuff.

Well isn't that the picture of maturity right there. I'm guessing you are fairly young.

First and foremost, I wasn't even trying to be snarky. I have a sarcastic sense of humor, and anyone with any experience with the military thought it was funny that you actually thought it was a possibility. I'd say you have a lot to learn about the military life. it was a real answer. Get a sense of humor.

Young, immature, butthurt. You just summed up my whole life in 3 words. You must be an old, mature, non-butthurt lady to do all of that over the internet. Impressive.

For the record I mentioned you being butthurt. Which you obviously still are. It'll be ok, boo boo.

<-------------Clearly butthurt. Don't worry, I'll off myself tomorrow instead of today so no one will think it's your fault, boo boo.

LN1024 · November 2012

amb04006:
hansonam446:
amb04006:
Lissa832:
amb04006:
hansonam446:
amb04006:
meltoine:

Lissa832:
My first reaction was "ah ha ha ha ha ha." 12 weeks? Dream on, lol. With as stringent as the military is, you can't really believe that he would be allowed 12 weeks of leave. USMC gets 10 days baby leave, and that is not guaranteed. It is based on your command, and then it might not even be 10 consecutive days.

Honestly, this was my reaction too. But I was trying to be nice. But seriously, OP, most women, who actually give birth and need to physically recover, don't get 12 weeks, and you thought your husband would? Really?

But seriously, have you ever READ the FMLA laws? All women, and their husbands, both can take the full 12 weeks. Whether they choose to or not is up to them. Clearly I was asking because I thought it wouldn't apply to the military. Thanks to everyone else who gave a real answer. I appreciate it.

Everyone DID give real answers, OP. No need to get snippy and they weren't particularly snarky about the answer you didn't like. For women who have been familiar with the military for awhile it's just funny to think they'd get 12 weeks of leave. Chill out.

Blah blah blah blah blah is all I'm reading there. Let me chill out pronto, because I'm all worked up and stuff.

Well isn't that the picture of maturity right there. I'm guessing you are fairly young.

First and foremost, I wasn't even trying to be snarky. I have a sarcastic sense of humor, and anyone with any experience with the military thought it was funny that you actually thought it was a possibility. I'd say you have a lot to learn about the military life. it was a real answer. Get a sense of humor.

Young, immature, butthurt. You just summed up my whole life in 3 words. You must be an old, mature, non-butthurt lady to do all of that over the internet. Impressive.

For the record I mentioned you being butthurt. Which you obviously still are. It'll be ok, boo boo.

<-------------Clearly butthurt. Don't worry, I'll off myself tomorrow instead of today so no one will think it's your fault, boo boo.

I'm all about jokes, but for someone who is affiliated with the military, you should know how high our suicide rate is. Your "off myself" statement is not only not funny, but also inconsiderate towards the military and all those who have went through a situation like that.

LyseeH · November 2012

My husband got 2 weeks paternity leave from the unit. He was also given extra time before I delivered because we were high risk and having some issues/complications. I think it is really based on the unit and situation

TomHope2011 · November 2012

My DH is active duty AF. His original squadron was prepared to give him the full 10 days paternity leave (not including weekends) plus three weeks of additional leave out of his balance. Then about a month before I gave birth he switched to a different squadron for a year long assignment. That squadron was short of people so his paternity leave was only the 10 days allotted by the AF and included weekends in the count. He never works weekends anyway and so based on the day our daughter was born, his paternity leave actually wound up being only 6 days long.

iluvmytxrgr · November 2012

amb04006:
hansonam446:
amb04006:
Lissa832:
amb04006:
hansonam446:
amb04006:
meltoine:

Lissa832:
My first reaction was "ah ha ha ha ha ha." 12 weeks? Dream on, lol. With as stringent as the military is, you can't really believe that he would be allowed 12 weeks of leave. USMC gets 10 days baby leave, and that is not guaranteed. It is based on your command, and then it might not even be 10 consecutive days.

Honestly, this was my reaction too. But I was trying to be nice. But seriously, OP, most women, who actually give birth and need to physically recover, don't get 12 weeks, and you thought your husband would? Really?

But seriously, have you ever READ the FMLA laws? All women, and their husbands, both can take the full 12 weeks. Whether they choose to or not is up to them. Clearly I was asking because I thought it wouldn't apply to the military. Thanks to everyone else who gave a real answer. I appreciate it.

Everyone DID give real answers, OP. No need to get snippy and they weren't particularly snarky about the answer you didn't like. For women who have been familiar with the military for awhile it's just funny to think they'd get 12 weeks of leave. Chill out.

Blah blah blah blah blah is all I'm reading there. Let me chill out pronto, because I'm all worked up and stuff.

Well isn't that the picture of maturity right there. I'm guessing you are fairly young.

First and foremost, I wasn't even trying to be snarky. I have a sarcastic sense of humor, and anyone with any experience with the military thought it was funny that you actually thought it was a possibility. I'd say you have a lot to learn about the military life. it was a real answer. Get a sense of humor.

Young, immature, butthurt. You just summed up my whole life in 3 words. You must be an old, mature, non-butthurt lady to do all of that over the internet. Impressive.

For the record I mentioned you being butthurt. Which you obviously still are. It'll be ok, boo boo.

<-------------Clearly butthurt. Don't worry, I'll off myself tomorrow instead of today so no one will think it's your fault, boo boo.

As a person who lost a family member to suicide, you are not flucking funny. Don't be an assshole.

vms0419 · December 2012

Thank you for asking, I had the same question after an initial reading of FMLA laws (they did give me a shred of hope, that maybe possibly my husband is eligible, but I guess the USN is not a "covered employer"). Many of his coworkers wives have delivered, and usually 10 days is about what they get off. He might (we hope) get a few more days since he will be returning from a 9 month deployment.

It is a legitimate question since the FMLA has been amended since 1993, including relatively recently- section 565 of the 2010 NDAA (National Defense Authorization Act). These changes affect your FMLA for the better (i.e.: if your husband is injured, and you are the care provider, you can take up to 26 weeks in a 12 month period).

I work weird hours/shifts, and childcare is not an option for us (can't even find a nanny, my hours are that crazy). Thankfully, my mom had planned to retire anyway, and my job is letting me take as much unpaid time as I need (I'm not FMLA eligible, I found out). I hope your situation works out!

I found this site helpful: https://www.dol.gov/whd/fmla

To be eligible for FMLA benefits, an employee must:

work for a covered employer;
have worked for the employer for a total of 12 months;
have worked at least 1,250 hours over the previous 12 months; and
work at a location where at least 50 employees are employed by the employer within 75 miles.

Active duty paternity leave?

Re: Active duty paternity leave?

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