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Multiples
twins in NICU advice/suggestions
hi ladies,
sorry i havent posted lately, and for the poor grammer/formatting - im on my phone. I wanted to ask those of you who had twins in the NICU a few questions:
1. Did you or have you noticed any hardships with your twins bonding ith one qnother? We are coming up on 2 weeks and they havent been together and the hospital wont allow them to be togther and Im worried they wont be as close.
2. How did you cope with the seperation, well be here for a while, since they arrived at 32 weeks and I am hating this. I feel emotionally seperated from them, skin to skin helps for a little bit but even still if Im not here with them, I dont really feel like their mom.
3. Did you have a hard time with your supply? Mine is gradually coming in, but not fast enough I was perscribed Reglan to help but its not enough for both, and with one of them having developed NEC and the others brain bleed its important to me that they have my milk.Did you find anything that hl
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Re: twins in NICU advice/suggestions
*helped.
My girls were only in the NICU for a few days, so you can take my advice with a grain of salt if you'd like (or a margarita). :-)
In terms of 1, my DDs really didn't start noticing each other until the were 4 months or so. Honestly, newborns are so egocentric, that I wouldn't worry about the bonding issue. To me, the bond develops more because they are with each other 24-7, and a few weeks of separation at this point won't make a big difference.
2. As I said, I only dealt with a couple days, but it was hard to feel that they were "mine" while they were in the NICU. Basically, I tried to rest/recover as much as I could in the hospital and learn as much as I could from the NICU nurses. Also, you can try and participate as much in their care as you can.
3. I had supply issues too. During my good time, I made about 1/2 of what they needed and it decreased from there. I decided that any breastmilk I could give was helpful so I didn't beat myself up about not having enough for two. I did use the mother's milk tea (an acquired taste) and an herbal supplement (included fenugreek and some other stuff I can't remember...I think I got it at a local health food store). I also found that sleep helped my supply, so it's a fine balance between getting a decent stretch of sleep and waking up and pumping. One LC suggested Reglan, but I was hesitant because it can exacerbate post partum depression. I wasn't at a place I wanted to risk that, so I didn't take it.
Good luck and I hope your LOs have a short and uneventful NICU stay!
***Twin fraternal girls born at 35w6d in 12/2008***
1. Did you or have you noticed any hardships with your twins bonding ith one qnother? We are coming up on 2 weeks and they havent been together and the hospital wont allow them to be togther and Im worried they wont be as close.
My girls still don't really notice each other and I don't think their stay at the NICU affected that. Like pp said, they are in their own world and don't notice much yet. They were in NICU for 2.5 and 3 weeks.
2. How did you cope with the seperation, well be here for a while, since they arrived at 32 weeks and I am hating this. I feel emotionally seperated from them, skin to skin helps for a little bit but even still if Im not here with them, I dont really feel like their mom.
This was really emotionally hard. I visited them in NICU for 8 hours each day and only took one day off. It wasn't easy being there, either, as I felt in the way sometimes. They do recognize their moms and dads by scent and voice. I think the rest I was able to get at home really helped my recovery, too. I never knew if I was there too much or too little. On the preemies board, they have mentioned the mom's health is so important so finding a balance between staying in NICU and at home is a great idea. Don't stress yourself out because the babies are in great care under the nurses and it will give you a time to recover so you can be at your best when you visit and when they do come home.
3. Did you have a hard time with your supply? Mine is gradually coming in, but not fast enough I was perscribed Reglan to help but its not enough for both, and with one of them having developed NEC and the others brain bleed its important to me that they have my milk.Did you find anything that hl
I had a breast reduction 17 years ago, but I think I'm doing alright with my supply considering. It took a long while to come in (girls were born at 34w 3d) and I think I was at 40mL total per pumping session when they left the hospital. Now I get about 18oz to 21oz a day. I have oatmeal for breakfast every day (not instant), a Guiness or other dark beer during dinner every night, and I take Goat's Rue (1 pill 4x a day) and Fenugreek (3 pills 3x a day). Also eating lactation cookies. See if an LC can stop by when you are visiting the NICU. They gave me nipple shields since I needed them and made sure the flanges (cones, whatever they are called) on the pump are the correct size... I think the sides of your nipple should not touch the flanges.
PAIF and SAIF welcome. IVF questions welcome, too.
I am mostly a lurker but I have 5 month old twins and wanted to chime in.
I can't help you with your first 2 questions. Our daughter was in the NICU for 48 hours. I found that I had a harder time bonding with her as I wasn't able to hold her as much as our son (who roomed in with me). You will get there.
I will caution you against using Reglan. I had a few panic attacks, and probably worsened some post partum depression thanks to Reglan. I was a hot mess for a few days until I realized it was the Reglan that caused this. Now, I just drink Mother's Milk tea (definitely an acquired taste) and take Fenugreek (maybe once or twice a day). I try to eat oatmeal when I can. We supplement with formula, and I've gotten to a place where I am happy with the combination. They are probably getting 75% milk 25% formula, starting cereal and veggies and are doing great.
Best wishes to you and your babies!
B/G twins born 5/12
1) I wouldn't worry about that at all. I remember being concerned about the same thing because I read on here about people putting their babies in one crib and mine hated being together. Now DD2 follows DD1 around all of the time, they give each kisses, and enjoy playing together (and pulling each others hair, but that's not the point!).
2) Mine were only in for 9 days so I can't even imagine what you're going through but I remember being stressed about not knowing where I should be. At the hospital the nurses and doctors stressed the importance of getting rest to help speed up my recovery from the c-section so that I would be in the best shape possible when they came home (and I had high BP issues that caused their early delivery so they were concerned for my health). When I was home I felt like I should be with them. I hated it, and between the stress, the exhaustion, and the hormones I definitely didn't feel as connected with them as I thought I would/should. And then once they were home it was so tough for the first few months with a 3 hour schedule for 2 babies that the exhaustion was insane and I definitely felt more connected then while they were in the NICU but still not what I expected. But the connection really did grow every day and still is growing. I think I can't possibly love them anymore and then the next day I realize that somehow I do.
3) I had an awful time with my supply. I tried the Mothers Milk tea and drops, fenugreek, domperidone, goats milk, pumping for 40 minutes every 3 hours, doing power pumps, everything anyone could think of and my supply just wouldn't come in. I maxed out at 18 ounces in a day at 2 months and by the time I quit at 12 weeks I was getting 7 ounces a day. From my experience I have two suggestions. The first is do whatever the nurses and LCs suggest to increase your supply and keep pumping while they're in the NICU. Give them what you can and don't beat yourself up about the amount, every little bit helps. The second is that if your supply really does still suck when they're out of the NICU and doing well, don't feel bad about moving to formula. I spent 12 weeks attached to a pump and not getting to cuddle with the girls because I was obsessed with increasing my supply and I really feel like I would have bonded better/earlier if I had cut out the pumping and added in cuddling time. Life was so much easier when I stopped, even though I felt very guilty about it.
Just go easy on yourself
The first few months with twins is hard, but it's even harder in the NICU. Do what you can, take care of yourself in addition to the babies and remember they're in good hands. Good luck!
Thanks everyone. I've been pumping every 2 hours as well as drinking the mothers milk tea. Between the tea and Reglan my supply went from 40 mL to 60ish almost every pumping. I'm sure my stress/worrying isn't helping. I wish I could do the fenugreek but the NICU LC is concerned it will react with my thyroid meds. She's been super helpful with all of it. I just really want to be able to do this. Ya know?
I appreciate everyone's input and stories. It really helps to know I'm not alone in how I feel. I guilty being there all day and then am just so drained after. We found splitting the day on weekends help, and a good 5 hour stay every weekday helps without burning us out.
I'll try to take better care of myself, as much as I say I know they are in the best place possible, it hurts knowing I couldn't keep them in longer to give them a better start. These emotions really are no joke.
You are doing great mama. Do NOT feel guilty for not being there 24/7. I always felt like we were being jugdged when we weren't there but I now know from some NICU nurse friends that a lot of parents are never there. They have had to call parents to say "hey your baby is being discharged today. Are you going to come get them?" So sad! So don't put so much pressure on yourself.
Also, do not be afraid to participate! Ask if you can change diapers, take their temps, tell them to let you know when you are free to pick them up. The hardest part for me was feeling like I had to ask to touch them. Once we got past that stage I felt more like they were really mine! Hang in there!