Borrowed baby

Re: Borrowed baby

• JessieCupcake member

  November 2012

  I'm so sorry for what your family has been through. Having your three week old hospitalized had to have been so scary. *hugs*

  I sometimes think about this too. I think it's because I saw what my mother went through when she lost my brother. I cannot imagine the grief of losing a child.
  

  Do you think about this a lot though? Are these thoughts giving you anxiety? It may be a good idea to go talk to somebody and sort out your feelings. I am a big advocate for therapy. I have been going for years since the death of my brother. 

  Of course always feel free to come here and talk. *more hugs*
  

   
  

   
  

  

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• violajack member

  November 2012

  Of course you won't be able to keep her forever. She'll go to school, sleepovers, college. She'll move out and start her own family. Eventually either you or she will pass away and you'll be separated for a while until the other catches up. 

  But yes, there's also the more immediate worry that you'll have to give her back to heaven sooner rather than later. I've felt that too with my little guy, especially after another family from our pre-natal group lost their son to SIDS at 10 weeks. I cried for days and worried everytime I put him to sleep.

  Disclaimer: this next bit is very dependent on your own personal beliefs, but this is what helped me. 

  I started praying differently, being thankful for the time I've had rather than worrying about what might happen in the future. I still pray for my son's safety, but I'm less worried. I also realized all those things I said at the beginning. They'll get sick, they'll drive cars (there's a crap-ton of worry right there), they'll go off on their own. Also, they're their own people. They don't belong to me or you or anyone but themselves. We just get to care for them for the time they need us.

  I think it's perfectly normal to have those thoughts, it's more about what you do with them, and how you can keep a balanced perspective about it. If you find the worry getting to be too overwhelming, or starting to interfere with your ability to enjoy all you have right now, then definitely seek out people IRL to talk to. Also know that you're not alone.

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• m4kohl08

  November 2012

  Thanks for the advice.. I think redirecting my thoughts will help. You're right, I wont have her forever. But I feel like if I accept that it's ok to ever loose her I'm almost giving God permission. It's a silly thought I know. I hear stories about loved ones loosing their LO and I can't imagine that at all. I just need to learn to be grateful and focus on the positive! Thanks ladies

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• mkflower3000 member

  November 2012

  I had the most perfect textbook pregnancy, L&D, and now have the perfect on track developing baby... I also often worry that it's too good to be true, and have since the time I was pregnant.

  DD also got really sick around 2 months with a mystery high fever and was hospitalized for 2 days (she also hasn't been sick since), so I know the fear and feelings associated with that.

  I don't know if it's normal, but you're definitely not alone I'm sorry that you also have that fear - it's really unpleasant. I just try to force myself not to think about it... 

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• kdjudd member

  November 2012

  I think we all worry about this from time to time. I suffer from PPD, chronic depression, and an anxiety disorder and this is always on my mind. If it is really becoming a problem for you then you might want to talk to a therapist. They might be able to help you sort through your fears. There is nothing wrong with reaching out for help.

   

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