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Pregnant after 35
KGsky
member
Poll: Do you ever wish you could have gotten pregnant younger?
KGsky
member
I always thought I'd get married and get pg around 27, 28. Have a few in the next 3 - 4 years and be done by 35. Didn't even get married til 35 and had 1st baby the week I turned 36. I'm glad I waited for the right person and that we have this beautiful little girl, but sometimes I wish I was a little younger--especially when we start thinking of having more. Pg was a little harder on me, too. I had alreayd begun to notice pre-pg that I was not able to work out as intensely as I used to or keep the hours I used to without getting tired. I think in my younger years, I would have handled it better...but maybe not ?
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Re: Poll: Do you ever wish you could have gotten pregnant younger?
Not one bit!
I didn't really know who I was in my 20's... If I became a mom then I think i would have never really learned who I was - i would have just been "mom and wife".... Now- I'm totally secure with myself and feel I can be a better mom b/c of it.
Many of my friends who had kids in their early 20's went through "mid thirties crisis" b/c their kids were older and in school- and they had NO idea who they were, what to do with themselves, what they liked, etc.
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
I never thought I wanted children...
When I reached 30 I had some life changing things happen and I realized that it wasn't that I didn't want children, I had never met anyone I wanted to have children with!
I cried sooo hard..what a huge thing to realize and then to know how important it was to do it with a person who held similar values and goals was overwhelming.
2 years later, I met my DH...2 and a half years later, we were married. I will be 36 and he will be almost 40 when the baby is born. This is a first marriage for both of us, and we have discussed some reason why we are happy we waited and reason we wish we could be a little younger...here are some.
Happy we are older:
We "know who we are"
We know we didn't settle
We have good established careers
We are financially sound
We have a strong, close network of friends and family
We have a home that we bought to grow in to with our family
We have watched many friends have children and learn so much from them
We are more patient than we were
Wish we were younger:
We feel our age sometimes
We worry we will be too old to be great parents
We will be almost 55 and 58 when she graduates from college
We worry we won't be "around" long enough for her
We wonder if this is the only one we will have
Our grandchildren may never know us (our grandparents were so important to both of us it makes us sad)
Maybe just a few years younger, like early 30s.
Honestly though, I just was not settled when I was in my 20s, plus I traveled to places I always wanted to go. Now, my husband and I have a nice house and good jobs. Financially we're ready and able to provide for a child.
I enjoyed myself when I was younger. I think raising children in my late 30s-early 50s will keep me active and alert.
I understand what you are saying. I also thought I would marry younger and have children sooner but I didn't meet my DH until I was 31 and 2 years later we had our first DD and now at 35, I am pg with our 2nd and most likely last simply b/c we can't imagine being much older and going thru another pregnancy and still parenting well into a 'retirement' age. I am very happy I waited but some days when it is harder keeping up with my toddler and being more pg, I wish I was younger. :-)
No, I am really happy with the way everything has worked out. We've only ever wanted one child, so the fact that we waited until 35 (and 5 years of marriage) is not that big of a deal.
Honestly, I don't know how the young'uns do it, especially on one un-established salary. But maybe we wanted to make sure we could provide a higher standard of living.
Wow! I felt like I could've written this post! We are very similar, only a few things. First, "I never thought I wanted children" is not me but I would say that I never felt like I was ready to have children...I never felt - " I want children now!" I always thought that I did in the future.
At 30, lots of things changed in my life. I finally felt like I had significant career accomplishments, etc. I realized how shallow all the fun I was having in NYC was..there was 9/11 and my mother passing. I really wanted to get married and have a family.
Luckily I met my hubby at 32. We married 4.5 years later (not 2!). We will be 38 & 41/42 when baby is born. We are ecstatic!!
I think everyone on this board probably appreciates their pregnancy/baby that much more b/c of our age.
My Blog
I had a baby at 21. I was married to an idiot but was too young to see it. My pregnancy was very difficult. I was on bedrest from 28 weeks, had pre e, PTL, the whole thing sucked. I ended up raising DS by myself, and did just fine despite how hard that is. I still had no desire to get pregnant again.
I met DH when I was 34, and we married when I was 35. It took 23 cycles to conceive DD. That was the only hard part for me. The pregnancy was pretty easy (except for 19 weeks of morning sickness). I feel so much more capable of raising a baby now. Finances are not an issue. I have a very involved hubby. We are much more laid back about everything. She has been a blessing more times over than I ever would have imagined. We are already talking about TTC again.
Bronx Zoo: Summer 2013
To read my blog, click on the giraffe pic below!
Definitely. Sometimes I wish I had been on the same time-line as yours. You know, married around 28, 1st baby around 30, 2nd baby around 32.
But that's just not the way it turned out. I just feel blessed to be PG at any age. There are definitely worries with being older and getting PG. I used to think those worries didn't apply to me, but it turns out they did.
I can also tell you that I'm finding being PG at 37 much different than being PG at 34. I'm much more tired. That might have to do w/ the fact that I already have a preschooler that sucks my life-force out of me, but still...my pregnancy 3 1/2 years ago was so much easier.