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Parenting after a Loss
mork
member
Starving My Child
mork
member
It appears I've been starving my child. Poor little thing has only gained 4 oz in the past two weeks, putting her at a grand total of 6 lb 8 oz at 5 weeks old. (She was 6 lb 2 oz at birth, and 5 lb 8 oz at 3 days old.) I've been trying to transition to only direct breast feeding during the day, and I think it's done more harm than good. When we left the hospital we were on ped orders to breast, bottled BM, then formula every feeding until she was full. She stopped needed the formula after a couple days, and then the transition off the bottled BM the last couple of weeks. (All ped approved.)
Well, she's been really fussy the last couple of days, and her weight check obviously went poorly. So, the ped thinks she's either not getting enough milk off the breast, or my milk doesn't have enough calories. Either way, we're back to offering formula after every breast feeding to up the calories. I just hope I haven't done any permanent damage by pushing the breast feeding thing. Poor little thing must've been starving - she's back to the happy calm baby she used to be with the new supplements. So, now she'll get breast and formula during the day, and bottled BM and formula during DH's night feedings.
On another note, it seems she's now upping her intake from about 70mL to 90mL. Cool, maybe that'll help with the weight issue, but my milk hasn't increased since it regulated about 10 days in. I've tried dark beer, and I've been eating lactation cookies like crazy, but neither seem to be helping. I also pump for 15 minutes every 4 hours, in addition to her on-demand feedings. Any other suggestions?
Sorry for the novel. Feeling like a bad Mama who may have stunted my daughter's physical and/or mental development.
Mama to 5 angel babies, 1 rainbow baby, and 2 more angel babies.
My beautiful Ella/ToT arrived 10/10/12.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Starving My Child
Stop beating yourself up. You did not hurt your child. She will be fine. She's clearly a slow weight gainer, and that's okay. Heck, one of our pediatricians had the same issue with her own child. It happens and is not something you caused.
What pump are you using? A hospital grade one may be more helpful. Pumps are not the best for building supply, but it can be done. I EPed from about 3w to almost 13m, and fought many supply changes.
Do you have a lactation consultant? She can work with you on building your supply. Your supply actually really regulates around 6w, so you're not quite there yet. The hormone build up that dictates your overall total possible supply does happen in the first 10 days, but your supply can still change daily, even after 6w. It's really an "on demand" thing.
Some people have luck with Fenugreek and/or things like mother's milk tea. Both made my child super fussy. I've also heard some people recommend Dom (Domperidone?), but it's not easy to get in the States. I ate a ton of oatmeal, drank dark beer regularly (it really only helps immediately after you drink it and if I drank it more than about 3x/wk it stopped helping) and drank about 2 gallons of plain water a day. I also kept my caffeine low, as that inhibited my supply. I also power pumped, meaning I'd pump for 10 or so minutes, rest for about 30-60 (depended on when I could get back onto the pump), then pump again. Repeat several times. That can help to stimulate your supply.
Also, if you want to go to full formula, then you can do it. Give yourself permission to choose. There's no right or wrong answer here. You are not a failure. Big ((((((hugs)))))).
BFP #2 11/3/10; BO at u/s 10w6d 12/16/10; Natural MC 1/7/11; D&C 4/21/11
BFP #3 10/27/11 Please stick, LO!! 2/6/12 It's a Girl! Alexis Grace born 6/29/12
BFP#4 4/27/14 Stick, stick, stick!! 8/11/14 It's a Boy! Evan Wesley born 1/8/15
"Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow, that is patience." Let it Be (blog) ♥ My BFP Charts
This time I'm not leaving without you.
After 7 years of no ovulation...
BFP#1 10/24/11 ~ EDD 6/29/12 ~ Natural m/c 11/2/11
BFP#2 2/3/12 ~ Alice born 9/26/12
Oh goodness, you are not starving her and are not by any means a bad momma. Please try not to beat yourself up. Looking back, I really regret that I was so hard on myself and stressed about the issues we had breastfeeding. Just breathe and know that you are doing the right thing for your LO. I know it is hard to do so, but please do try.
I can only say "ditto" to the PPs, particularly the ever-wise Karen who talked me off a ledge or 2 in my day as well.
It will all work out. Promise. And you are a great momma. What matters is that your LO is fed, and you retain your sanity. Whatever combination it takes to get there is fine.
One thing I noted in your description is that your DH Is doing night feedings. Is this all night? Are you able tp pump at all during the night? While doing so can interrupt your rest, if you're going a prolonged time with no nursing and no pumping that is telling your body that less milk is needed rather than more -- so perhaps you could do some attenuated pumping sessions while DH does the longer job of chanigng, feeding, burping, etc. until things get established?
((Hugs))
BFP #1 5/2010 - Missed m/c at 8 weeks
BFP #2 2/2011
Baby G welcomed with love and relief 10/2011
Surprise BFP 1/8/2013...say what? Baby A arrived 9/2013
Motherhood is not for wimps
I use the medela PIS.
I had a LC, but they stop helping at two weeks. I talked to one on the phone after that, but, honestly, they all gave different advice, even though they were from the same group, and it was all skip straight to the helping devices like shields etc. I tried all the different advice, and none of it helped. No one mentioned weighted feedings, but I've seen it here, and am interested. I may look for another LC who will help me this late. ETA: I consulted them on issues along the way, including the weight issue. I haven't talked to anyone about supply.
I have done what I call double pumping. I rest for 5 or 10 and then go again, but I didn't think you were supposed to, and thought it may be causing my milk in tube problem, so I stopped. I'll definitely try power pumping.
DH does half of the night, which gives me six hours of sleep and about seven hours from the end of one pumping to the next feeding and pumping. I was doing really poorly without the block of rest, but maybe I can pump in the middle for a few days a week, if it proves to help. I may try.
I can do this. And DD will be fine. I have to keep telling myself that.
You were just doing what you thought was best, and as you said, ped approved!! *hugs*
I'm going to second this as well. PPs all gave great advice, so I'm just chiming in to add some ((hugs)) and reiterate that you are a GREAT mama who is doing her best for her LO. She will be just fine! Hang in there, I know it is tough, but you're doing a great job.
You're not starving your LO! You're doing great.
One thing that makes a huge difference for my supply is water. I have to drink water constantly all day long. Usually when I'm busy on the weekend, towards the evening I realize Harper isn't getting as much from me as normal. And then I realize I didn't drink water all day.
Drink water, all day, every day, one after another. I usually keep a cup of ice water right by me and refill every time it's empty. I probably drink 100oz of water a day.
I'm not a Dr so I can't sit here and argue with what they are suggesting but don't give up. Your BM is made for your LO. ETA: Meaning it should be perfect calorie wise. As far as supply, I used Fenugreek and Domperidone to help my supply. GL!! Hang in there, BFing is hard!
How are you doing today, Mork? I was just thinking of you and hoping things are better!
Those first few months are so, so, so hard. I promise it gets better.
Thanks Karen! I've been doing better. DD is feeding well, and is a bottomless pit right now! We must be going through a growth spurt. She increased her intake from 2 to 3 oz in just 48 hours. Luckily, my supply has responded in kind. Yay! She still takes some formula after BF, but is happy with her 3 oz BM bottles at night. And her cheeks and thighs are looking chubbier, so hopefully we'll see some progress at her appointment on Wed.