Sharing rooms vs Separate rooms

amber31288 · November 2012

Has anyone given thought to their living arrangements when they have more than one LO? Or what have you guys that already have more than one LO done? DH and I are trying to decide what to do now that we know our second girl is on her way. We have three options: 1) The girls share a room, and we make the second room (we have a 3 bedroom house) into a playroom. 2) The girls share a room, and we keep the second bedroom as the guest room until we inevitably want to redecorate it and split the girls into their own rooms (We are finishing our basement, so we could put a play area down there). Or 3) The girls each get their own bedroom, and we get a pull out couch or Murphy bed for guests and put that in the basement once it is finished.

DH and I are currently disagreeing. I think the girls should share a room. For one, if they don't share a room now, then they probably never will. And I thought it was fun to share a room with my sister while we were younger. Two, DH often works late hours and spends weeks out of town for work. What happens when I am home alone putting two young kids to bed at the same time? I know it's doable, people have done it, but wouldn't it be easier to put them both in the same room and do bedtime all together? Same goes with if they both were to wake in the middle of the night and waking up in the morning.

I also like the idea of having our guest room turned into a play room, because I'm going to be home alone with the two of them often. I am going to want a completely baby-proofed room to throw them into occasionally when I need to. I feel like I have really thought out what is best and what will make sense for my life and make me lose my mind a little bit less. DH's only argument is he thinks they need their own rooms.. because he is an only child and never shared anything in his life.

Am I missing an upside to them having their own rooms? Besides the fact that the baby may disturb DD1's sleeping, but I've heard they adjust pretty easily. And we plan to keep the new baby in our room for the first 2 months or so, which is what we did with DD1. Opinions?

NatesLady1309 · November 2012

I would personally not want my kids sharing a room at such a young age. My reason for that would be that we have been through hell and high water with Addy's sleep problems and the absolute last thing I would want is to throw in another negative factor into the sleep issues of either one child or both. If you think DD1 would not be disturbed in the least by a potentially screaming infant in her room then I would go for it. Otherwise, I would have them in separate rooms since that is an option. I have zero problem with my kids sharing rooms in the future when they are older, but due to our very rough sleep road, I would not even want to consider it while they are infants and very young children if I had another option. But that's just me and clearly I have been forever scarred by my terribly-sleeping child. :-P

jldubb0626 · November 2012

We are doing separate rooms for our LO's. Mainly because I'm hoping this one is a girl and I wouldn't put a little girl in with Eli. Lol.

Realistically though, I wouldn't want a newborn who's up a lot interrupting Eli's STTN. When one is sick, keeping them in separate rooms (at least while sleeping) will make it easier to tend to one or the other. Punishment (thinking for when they are older) will be easier when they have to go to separate rooms for time out.

nickert2000 · November 2012

Based on experience I can tell you: It is easier to separate them eventually than put them together when they are used to their own rooms.

My 2 boys had separate rooms then when we had little miss we put them together....

runrinserepeat · November 2012

We'll probably do separate rooms, I think, just for the sleep issues. We have the option of moving the guest bedroom downstairs, though. Also the upstairs bedroom are small. I'm already planning on getting lofted beds for when they're older, I can't imagine fitting two of them in one room. It would be tight.

cheese.fiend · November 2012

I think you have great reasons for them sharing... but I would be worried about the new baby's sleeping patterns to interrupt your older daughter's sleep.

I think I'd turn the guestroom into a play room but put the new baby in there to sleep until she is STTN on a consistent basis. Then I'd move them in together to share.

karleegirl · November 2012

OP..I wouldn't put the kids together until the youngest sttn. After that I'd totally put them together.

My 2 youngest share a room in theory. Basically DD's crib is in ds2's room. This is our only option. we have a 3 bedroom house and I'm not making my teenager share with a 5 yr old. I don't forsee us able to move anytime soon so this is the way its' going to be. Ds1 goes to college next year but I'm not going to take his bedroom away. We are thinking of closing in the garage..but who know's.

allisons1014 · November 2012

I'm a big fan of sharing rooms. My big sis and I shared a room until she was going to 6th grade. When she moved out, my little sis moved in until I got my own room in the 6th grade. Our house had 5 bedrooms. We didn't have to share but my mom thought it was important. We certainly didn't always get along. I remember using yarn to divide the room in half when we were fighting. But you really learn a lot about living with another person.

My college roommate had never shared a room or anything else for that matter until we lived together freshman year and it was hell.

Also, my nieces are 1 year and 1 week apart. They have always shared a room. They've done great. They don't seem to disrupt each others sleep too bad. A lot less than 8 kids in one daycare room trying to nap at different times.

jja0812 · November 2012

I'll be the dissenting opinion tonight! :] My parents had two girls and two boys, and we always shared... even in houses where we had rooms to spare [we moved a lot]. My sister and I are very close in age, with VERY different personalities, so it wasn't always easy but I do think it was good for us and I wouldn't change it.

My husband and I are also kind of split on this. He only had a sister, so he always had his own room. If we have another boy, I really want them to share a room. I don't think the sleep thing will be a huge deal because we kept Julian in our room until he was six months and I'm sure we'll do at least a few months next time around. My husband just thinks if we have enough bedrooms, why would we have any reason to make them share, but I enjoy my memories of playing in my room with my sister and talking to her at night after we were supposed to be asleep. I don't see any reason to automatically split them [if the circumstances don't make it necessary, of course].

I also agree about making bedtime easier, and having the playroom would be great.

ETA: ok so while I was pecking this out on my iPod, some other prosharers chimed in. Guess I'm not a lone dissenter after all!

HappyToBe2012 · November 2012

There are benefits to both sharing and not sharing. I think it depends on the family. When we have LO2, they will each have their own room. But we have a four bedroom house. I plan on moving the guest bedroom into the empty bedroom and LO2 will go in that room.

Jen0204 · November 2012

We live in a 2 bedroom condo so the girls obviously share a room. It's great! I was really worried what would happen with sleep issues and it has not been an issue in the least. One of the girls can be screaming her little head off and the other one stays sound asleep. I don't know if its a twin thing or what, but I think being around each other and used to each others noises helps during the day too. When one gets upset and cries when they're awake it usually doesn't bother the other one.

I also like hearing the chattering to each other when they wake up. I feel like having them share a room helps them to be closer. My sister and I didn't share a room until I was probably 12 and then it just made me mad. Ideally we will buy a house at some point and they can choose if they want their own rooms but for now I'm happy with them sharing. I think you should try sharing but hold off on making it a guest room. That way you can separate them if necessary.

Congrats on another girl! I was hoping for boys but two little girls has been amazing.

Lena122 · November 2012

I'm all for room sharing but I'd be hesitant to do it when one of the siblings is an infant. However, you made some valid points as to why it would work for you so if you're the only who is going to be mostly affected by it then it should really be your call.

It's not like they'd have to share a room forever.

frasey · November 2012

we're almost done building a 4 bedroom house for this exact purpose. Thankfully DH and I agree that each kid should have their own room, no matter what their sex. We think we want 3 kids, so eventually they will each have their own room, and we'll finish the basement in a few years for a guestroom and playroom. Right now, we'll be using one of the upstairs bedrooms for a guest/playroom.

MollySm · November 2012

I think there are pluses and minuses to both plans. Our kids will definitely share rooms throughout most of their childhood (provided we have 2 girls or 2 boys). For the infant thing, I wouldn't be too worried about the sleep thing. Every kid I've known is occasionally woken by their sibling, but for the most part sleeps through it. Regardless of whether they are in the same room, or just rooms near each other. Unless you have rooms on completely different floors, crying is occasionally going to wake a sibling - it just happens.

sparks2987 · November 2012

We will have a seperate play room, if that means kids sharing a room for awhile. New baby will stay in our room until 6 months just like Emily did, by then I hope to only be up 1-2 times a night.

SIL has all 3 of her boys sleeping in the same room, no toys allowed in their bedroom. They have a large playroom. It helps to send them to bed in a room without toys and when they go to time out they go into their bedroom, with no toys. It works out very very well for them.

Just like anything else it might be trial and error until we figure out what works for us.

jju_stb_jju · November 2012

We aren't going to have our kids room share. Also since ds will be about 45 when we try for another, I don't think that big of a gap would be good for them to share anyhow. Our home right now is only a two bedroom but we are going to add a master suit hopefully next year, so our next little one will have their own room.

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