How many people are you inviting to help you with natural labor?

themartinsrj · November 2012

We're trying to decide if we need my mom to help along with my husband, so there's back up and one can look me in the eyes while the other rubs my back/wipes my face/etc. We always thought my husband should be the only one but now after taking childbirth classes, we're seeing the potential need for back up.

[Poll]

abell77 · November 2012

When my first child was born, I asked my mom to be present. I asked her to be there because I thought it would be meaningful for her to watch her grandchild being born, not because I wanted her there as a coach. When my second child was born, it was just dh since grandma was babysitting this time around!

MrsBigTime · November 2012

We were originally going to have a doula student, but after taking our birthing classes, we decided we would like to try on our own, just the two of us.

DH and I are pretty private, really, and the thought of having someone in the room with us who wasn't super strong (i.e. a student as compared to a real doula) seemed like it would be more distracting than helpful.

However, if our finances allowed, I think having an experienced doula, who had a wealth of knowledge to offer, would be a very useful tool. I'm sure some students would be awesome too, but I spoke with about 6 and they were either not available for my due date or they didn't seem strong (had never been to a birth or had children of their own, etc.).

aylafsu88 · November 2012

I had 3 people. My DH and doula who were my main supports and coaches during L&D. My mom also made it to the birth and was there during second stage. It was nice to share the experience with my mom but initially she was a distraction. She got to the hospital and was very excited to be there. However, I had been laboring for 8+ hours, was tired and wanted to focus on getting this baby out. Once my mom calmed down, it was NBD and nice to have her there. I was glad I got to share the experience with her.

barnwife · November 2012

For both homebirths it was my midwife and her team, DH, and I. (Well, for A.'s birth, DH's aunt was in the house to take care of J., but never in the room.)

Honestly, any more for me would be overkill. I prefer to labor by myself as long as possible (for me, that's until back labor starts). Then I want someone to provide counterpressure.

The thought of needing to look into someone's eyes is...strange...to me. The thought never crossed my mind. When I am far enough along to need the counterpressure (i.e. need help) I labor with my eyes closed.

CurbsideProphet · November 2012

I had DH and a doula. I had a hospital birth, but I was allowed to bring a birth pool. They recommended having two people assist, with one person designated being in charge of the pool. Otherwise it is a lot for dad to be with you/assist you and set up the pool. Even if I did not have the pool, I probably would have hired a doula.

Dman85 · November 2012

I marked down 3. Really it will be just my husband "helping" me. We have invited both our moms to be there but just to watch lol.

sschwege · November 2012

We will have two people same as last time. The first time it was my MIL this time hopefully it will be my mom, though if she isn't in town yet we might ask my Aunt. I like having one other person besides DH because it takes a little pressure off of him. Last time I really didn't need much, but this time, who knows? Plus he is Type I diabetic and I just want to make sure there is someone there who can remind him to check his blood sugar, get food for him if he needs it etc. He is usually pretty good about paying attention to all this, but obviously having your wife in labor can be quite distracting

Keep in mind that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. If you think your mom would be accepting of this, you could always ask her to be an additional support person, but only if your husband needs to step away or tell her that when you start pushing you just want it to be the two of you. You know your mom better than anyone, but I know if I asked my mom to be there for support during labor, but leave when I was pushing, she would understand.

BLPL101 · November 2012

My mom is my best friend (besides DH), but I am just having DH in the room. My mom does not do well under stress AT ALL. I can't imagine having her in the room when I need someone to help calm/relax me.

NoeliaV · November 2012

If we were going to invite another support person, I'd want it to be a doula.

GoldenPeaches · November 2012

I had DH and the midwife and nurse there. For us, it was a private and intimate moment to share between the two of us. Plenty of time for others to see the baby later.

mystrana · November 2012

I had my DH for support and at some point his mom came over, though it was more of a she asked and he said ok situation than me asking her to be there; I didn't mind though.

I would have asked my mom if she lived closer.

Ultimately though each person is going to have different comfort zones with the number of people

shibby00 · November 2012

I couldn't see the whole title on mobile, I thought you were asking about after birth help at home. I'll just have DH during labor/birth and only him back at home.

vlevitt · November 2012

It'll be me, DH and a doula. Lucky for us, our midwife practice includes doulas, doctors and lactation specialists as part of their integrated practice. There's no family member I'd want with us, but the doula I'm super excited about. We'd pay for one even if there wasn't one included in the practice. I feel much more confident knowing we'll have an expert with us.

LindseyJW · November 2012

5 then 4

birth #1: my nuclear family (mom to help, sister to photo, dad/brother to be there when baby arrived) and my bff

birth #2: my mom to help, dad to be there when baby arrived, 2 doulas (one to photo, one to doula)

this was in addition to my MW and her assistant (both times)

runlong3 · November 2012

It's only going to be DH and I (plus the MW and nurse). We're using Hypnobabies, so I feel that anyone else would just be distracting for me.

pdilly2b · November 2012

abell77:
When my first child was born, I asked my mom to be present. I asked her to be there because I thought it would be meaningful for her to watch her grandchild being born, not because I wanted her there as a coach. When my second child was born, it was just dh since grandma was babysitting this time around!

This for me too, though with the second kid, if my dad can watch DS, my mom will be there again and I will invite my MIL to include her if she would like to witness it - not for any kind of support, just because I think they may want to be present. DH and my midwife were all the support I needed.

PansyPants · November 2012

Husband and doula will be there for me.

noraraeuc · November 2012

I prefer to labor alone, but when it comes time for the birth itself I will probably call in daddy and my two toddlers. We will be having an unassisted birth, partially because I am a very private and secluded person and I am not comfortable with basically anyone but my love and kids in day to day life, especially not at such a personal and vital event.

tokenhoser · November 2012

Last time we had DH and a doula.

This time will depend on whether I deliver with my family doctor again or with a midwife. With a midwife, I might skip the expense of the doula.

Bride-hilda · November 2012

I didn't vote, because I don't have any kids yet, but if it's anything like having a major panic attack, I can tell you I will not do well with distractions. As long as I can focus on one thing and have someone with me who loves me and is just THERE, I'll be okie-dokie.

Personally.

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