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LGBT Parenting


Found out yesterday that our DONOR is no longer donating  ( we knew this a few months back ) but i called to check and now there are ZERO vials left.  I am pretty bummed about this. 

 M does not seem to be as upset as I am ( she carried the twins ) so maybe for her its different.  Anyone else feel this when when their donor is not available anymore?

I dont know that we will even try for TRES Baby ... but i like to know I had the option - We do have one AF vial left ( but the RE office has not charged us storage ) so I am wondering if it is still even left ? Dont wanna call because if they forgot and have not charged us storage then  I dont wanna bring it up to their attention  Ya know.

 Hmm- so annoyed with the sperm bank the said they would inform us when it was DRASTICALLY low. When we called b4 they said they were low but still a while from being out and we had some time.   They also said it looks like 1 person purchase all the remaining vials.




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  • I guess it depends on how you feel about sibling actually being blood related. I am of the school of thought that siblings do not have to actually related to be siblings. I think it has more to do with you being a family regardless of how related the girls are to any future potential children.

     I understand the frustration and sadness, especially since the bank was supposed to call you when they got super low. It sounds like maybe someone wanted that donor and found out they were low and snapped them all up in one go?

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  • Awww...I'm sorry that happened.  I know making decisions about tres baby has been tough for you guys, and it sucks to know that a potential door has been closed.  But I'm sure you will figure out what is right for you in the end.
    Same sex couple TTC with donor sperm.  I am 35 and carrying.  Endometriosis and DOR.
    AMH 0.5, AFC 5-8, FSH 7ish

    IVF #1 - antagonist.  Empty follicle syndrome.  1 retrieved, 0 fertilized.
    IVF #2 - antagonist.  Ovulated early.  3 retrieved, 2 fertilized, 0 blasts
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  • Really sorry J.  Ugh.  I know you guys have been struggling with decisions about baby3 and I am sure this just adds to the struggle.  Sending you support.
  • Sorry to hear that.  I think the main frustration would be with the bank.  They should not have told you that, and then not followed through.  With that said, if one person bought it all, maybe they didn't have a chance.  Any idea how many units were left? 

    I had mixed feelings when ours sold out.  We have 5 vials left.  My first thought was that it was very sad, because if we wanted to buy more, then we couldn't get them.  The more I thought about it, I was really glad, because he was only active for like 18 months, so I believe there will be a very limited amount of siblings running around.  

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  • For us having two full sibling is important, so we bought a bunch. Our donor sold out and then were were notified when a couple more when they became available and bought those. I don't think the bank can foresee bulk sales, but I'm sorry you were disappointed. It's a total crap shoot.

    At the least

    Is your donor out or retired? Sometimes out of stock can mean they're waiting for more donations or quarantine time to be up.

    You can always try the donor sibling registry or if you bank has a private forum or facebook page, to post a listing that you're interested in buying. Folks do that on ours.

    Your RE should notify you before destroying/donating/selling your remaining vial. Worst case they charge you back storage to retrieve it if you want to use it. And, if you really, really wanted a full sibling you could go straight to IVF with one vial. (That will be our last ditch plan with our last two vials).

    Good luck figuring it all out!

    Met 07/07/05, Wedding 07/07/07, Legal Marriage Ceremony 12/9/12, Baby Boy Born 08/09/13 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Thanks everyone. 

    He is retired - so no change of him coming back.  i will start checking the DSR but i dont even know if we want a third but I would like to know that if I reach  40 ( a few years from now) that if I wanted #3 I could .  

    Its really important for me that our children all share the same donor- my rationale for that is that we are two uterus so we can each cary a bio child ( if all if right with the world) and if the kids have same donor if god forbid they need something medical they could share between them if need be and that they will all have that common Genetic link.  Its just something that i like if i can have it. 


    I am pretty upset with the bank- they did not seem to care and i do understand and feel for the people that purchased in bulk it was not an easy road for us- so maybe they need it all. 


    Anyhow thanks for your comments it makes me feel better - sometimes i feel bad for being upset about this ( not sure why )


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