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Dads & Dads-to-be
clairebear8675309
member
questions for dads-to-be from a FTM
clairebear8675309
member
Hi all! And Congrats! ok, i hope some of you can help me understand. So ever since i got pregnant ( planned pregnancy ) DH could not be less interested in babies and pregnancy. The only time HE will bring up our baby boy is when he's talking about him playing sports or something. Thats it. Never asks me how im feeling or anything. Its like im not even pregnant. Granted, he does go to appointments with me and what not but thats it. Its just like everything is the same as if it was before i got pregnant. I just dont get it? Any ideas or imput on why he could be acting like this? im not harping on him or giving him a bad time or anything, im just concerned i guess. it is our first baby for both of us and we arent super young or anything (28) so i just dont know what his deal is!
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Re: questions for dads-to-be from a FTM
Your about to the stage where he will be able to feel the child kick, hopefully then he will start asking more about how you are doing. For a lot of men, it doesn't really sink in until you can feel the baby move.
Wulfgar has a point.
I know that when my wife was pregnant, I tended to project into the future to where he was able to do things like play sports, etc.(not to say I wasn't looking forward to his baby stage) while my wife was more focused on the short term and having a baby to hold. For me at least, when he arrived, my focus obviously immediately shifted to the now and I loved having a baby.
He could be dealing with issues, either worrying about fiances, or that everything will change once your son gets here. Or it could be, that despite going to the appointments, it just hasn't sunk in that it is really happening. At this point you are likely only starting to show in the past couple of weeks, or maybe not even showing yet and he can't feel your son moving around.
How considerate is your husband normally? If he's not overly considerate (i.e. asking how you are), then it isn't really much of a departure for him.
Thanks guys. He is usually very considerate which is why i find his behavior a bit strange for him. Im not showing yet ( which is so frustrating considering how im almost 5 months and know the sex! ) and i have not felt the baby move so i will take that into consideration. it is finally just sinking in with ME that im going to have a baby. i guess I'll just let it ride out and not worry about his lack of interest in the pregnancy. *sigh* I hope he will come around once my belly "pops".
Yeah, 18/19 weeks is still pretty early. I'm sure you feel very different, but for him the reality has far from set in.
I wouldn't stress about it.
Remember, we don't experience the physical changes and the bonding that comes with having a child inside your womb. We have no basis to understand that.
Third Trimester is a good mark of where we, as fathers, really start to kick into father mode. We start to see things in our house that need to be addressed. We start to get the baby room ready by painting, carpeting, or whatever else mom requests fo us.
And he goes to your appointments with you, and you are complaining about him not being interested?? I went to all my wifes appointments, and from what I saw very few men were following my lead. All of my wife's friends were shocked that I refused to miss an appointment.
If I were you, I would show him how much you appreciate that he is doing that for you. The majority of men out there certainly don't do that, and for you to say he is not interested in the same post where you acknowledge that he goes to your appointments seems a little harsh to me. He actually deserves your praise and some oral fun as well, in my opinion.
Seriously, give it some time and before you know it he will be spending hours with his hand on your stomach waiting for one small kick or flip.
Getting off work for an hour in the middle of the day can be tough. I made it to the first Ultrasound and the last, but ended up missing some appointments.