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Late Term and Child Loss
Artemis0685
member
*Starburst*
Artemis0685
member
First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss!!!
I feel like I can relate to you so much and after reading something you wrote I just have a few questions for you if that's ok.
I don't remember if I've read how you lost your son, but do you know the cause? Did they tell you at an appointment or did it happen during labor?
Also, we have just decided we want to try again in like 4 months. When are you going to TTC? Do you sometimes feel guilty for wanting to try so soon? I do sometimes for some reason...I don't want to replace him, but I think that having that 3rd baby I always wanted will help me heal.
My son had passed inside me 2 days prior to his birth, and one thing that I really hate is that I never got to see his eyes. I will always wonder what they looked like, so when I read what you just wrote on the loss check in...it really touched me.
Hugs to you, I'm so sorry.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: *Starburst*
No problem!
I lost my son on September 28th. I was due the 21st of September. Since he was past due I had a doctors appointment on the 26th, we had an NST and Bradley was PERFECT! Two days later when we went to the hospital to be induced they couldn't find a heartbeat. The night before we went to the hospital I felt him moving around as I was going to bed. We had absolutely no idea Bradley was sick, and was not even considering the outcome we experienced. The autopsy found nothing to be wrong with him though. The doctors have no idea why his heart stopped. He died sometime between 10 PM on the 27th and 5 AM on the 28th.
We are TTC now (and my doctor is 100% supportive)! I'm not currently ovulating, but I think I did last weekend, so hopefully sperm found my little egg! We have two types of ovulation kits (digital and non-digital to track my ovulation) that I use every day. Since my PP period isn't back yet, I am just anxiously awaiting that so we can really buckle down and get serious about my ovulation. I don't actually feel guilty at all for wanting another baby so soon. Bradley is still my first born child and although he is not with us, he is still a large part of my life. My DH and I read many stories to him every night, talk to him, plan special things for him at this grave... I feel like having another baby is not replacing Bradley at all, he will always be a distinct child. Any possible guilt I could feel is overcome by my desire to give Bradley a little brother or sister to watch over and to come play with here on earth. I can't help but think that since I am so at peace with TTC so soon, Bradley must be okay with it, and excited to be a big brother. You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting another baby! (I know, easier said than done...)
I'm so sorry about your loss. It really sucks for all of us to be here. We never got to see Bradley's eyes either. We actually tried to open them, but they were shut pretty tight and we didn't want to hurt him.
Can I butt in? ((HUGS)) to you both. It is totally normal to want to ttc again as soon as possible. Many women here have, whether their angel was their first or third baby. I know we are not replacing Patricia. She will always be our first, and the big sister of the future children we hope to bring home.
Our Patricia's story was similar to both of yours. She passed away at 31 weeks but we have no cause. Not having anything to "watch out" for, not having any control, makes this pregnancy difficult but I am at peace knowing there was nothing I or anyone could do to save our girl.
Also, I wanted to mention that we were not able to see Patricia's eyes but the ME did note in the autopsy report that they were brown like mine. I was not able to read the whole report but my mom did and shared with me.
Thank you both for sharing with me. We also tried to open his eyes but they were shut tight and didn't want to mess with them too much. I'm starting to get excited about the idea of having another baby after talking to a few people about feeling guilty. Like I said, so far the plan is to start TTC in March.
jbranden, congrats on your pregnancy, I wish you the best of luck!!!!