How do you talk to your kids about unhealthy or treat foods?

KateLouise · November 2012

Kind of a follow on from my post below, in raising my duaghters I've been unpicking how my parents spoke to me growing up around food, appearance and what have you.

I've spent most of my adult life as moderately overweight to obese. I don't blame my parents because it was me shovelling food into my mouth, but I can see how some of their attitudes didn't help me.

So in talking to my 2 yr old about food, I have not introduced the idea of being fat. We talk about not filling our tummies up with one kind of food. That you need to eat lots of different kinds of food. That some foods we only eat a little of, because we need room in our tummies for the foods that will help us grow big and give us lots of energy for playing.

The other day we were planning on getting take out for dinner (it's something we do once a week or less). DD was talking about helping her dad carry the chips from the shop, something she loves to do. My Dad piped in with, "all those chips, will go straight to your hips" DD looked at me all confused, and I basically just ignored dad's comment because I didn't want to get into chips making you fat.

In my head I was angry at my dad making those kinds of comments to a 2 yr old, but I haven't revisited it with him.

So how do you talk to your kids about food. Do you discuss being fat?

KelliLynee · November 2012

I say EXACTY what you described in your first paragraph, but the topic of
being "fat" actually came up today with my 3 year old. I just explained that if you eat more than your body needs very often, or if you don't exercise enough, your body gets heavy and you can't do things as easily. She asked "like what stuff?" And I gave examples. I also mentioned that it isn't healthy for our bodies, for our heart, etc. but I much prefer just sticking with needing various types of foods so our body grows healthy and strong. :

nosoup4u · November 2012

We talk about how too much of desserts or fries will give you a tummy ache or make you sick, but don't talk about it making you fat. I also talk to them about food that "fills you up" (i.e. not just eating fruit or bread), stuff that has fat and protein (PB, meat, veg). I think I was actually raised without an emphasis on food and weight, but we were also only given healthy options - fast food and take out didn't happen much. So I think that's what we're aiming for - only good options at home, with special "treats" and take out once in awhile.

I say this after hiding the Halloween candy the other day because my sons were having a piece a day with lunch, sigh. The bigger they get, the harder it is!

Oh, and I try to only feed them dark chocolate! I think it's good for their palettes not to have overly-sweet chocolate.

Last thing: Read up on Ellyn Satter, she has great advice about feeding kids. Basically, give them good options, and try not to battle them about what they eat. She advises serving dessert with the main meal, and it really is amazing - my older son will eat his dessert and then the rest of his food, no big deal. The whole "finish your food and then I will decide if you can have dessert" theory drives me nuts, though. Anyhoo, a link: https://www.ellynsatter.com/using-forbidden-food-i-51.html

KateLouise · November 2012

Thanks for the link. It makes for interesting reading. I've always avoided saying "eat x and then you can have y" but sometimes it's really hard to resist the, "just have one more biteful" mentality when it seems they've eaten little dinner.

I can see how putting it all on their plate could eliminate this.

i think I lack confidence that I'm offering appropriate portions when it comes to food. So if I put dessert on the plate with dinner, would I be sure it was an ok amount?

kipnus · November 2012

I'm not a parent yet, but I'm a grad student in the field of physical education, and nutrition often comes up in my classes and research. One of the most important things I think parents can do to keep their kids at a healthy weight is to eliminate liquid calories, especially those coming from juice (yes, even 100% pure, unsweetened fruit juice!) and sweetened dairy beverages (i.e. chocolate or strawberry milk).

The problem with drinking calories is that we don't compensate for them by eating less food, the way we would if we had eaten two oranges before dinner, for example. It's about satiety--feeling full and satisfied. Kids will instinctively know when their bodies have had enough food--the trick is not messing with that by giving them extra liquid calories, or making them clean their plates. I agree that Ellyn Satter is a great resource for helping kids eat healthfully.

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