Transitioning to SAHM

crystalknpp · November 2012

Have any of you ladies who have gone from working full time to being a SAHM full time had trouble adjusting? I won't go into detail but the short version is I conveniently was told by my employer that I was being let go shortly before going on maternity leave. Once this happened DH and I had a long talk and decided that as long as we can continue to do it financially I'm going to be at home with DS. Don't get me wrong I love being home with him but adjusting has been tougher than I thought. I've had a job since I was 15 so not having one is something I'm not used to. I'm also stressing over us adjusting to our new financial situation. My income was for all the "extras" and while we can still comfortably pay our bills with what DH makes it still makes me nervous to not have the extra money coming in.

adoxyinherear · November 2012

I haven't adjusted to being a SAHM exclusively, but I went back to work part-time and mostly from home. I only go into the office one day a week.

While I absolutely treasure this opportunity and feel so, so lucky that I can be home with DD almost every day, it's been a serious adjustment and one I still haven't made 100 percent emotionally and mentally. I get very lonely (which is probably why I spam the boards some days!) and I don't feel like the most productive member of society when I spend most of my days cleaning the house and taking care of DD. I've been trying to challenge myself in more reasonable ways, or at least, ways that work around a baby's schedule. I try new recipes or craft projects that I can tinker with while she plays or naps. The money is an issue, too. I'm bringing in a whole lot less than I was, so we're going to have to be more frugal.

I actually just cried about this to DH this morning, and he said I need to make some time for myself away from DD when he's home to take care of her. Because we're nursing I can't do a whole, whole lot that won't get interrupted by needing to pump or nurse anyway, but I think he's right.

tbone_bride · November 2012

I became a SAHM about 11 months ago. It is tough! I don't miss my job, but I miss the people, adult interactions, and responsibility outside the home. And the money of course!!! I love being home with DD and now DS. But it's tough. I still wouldn't change it for the world but its important you have help and some friends to escape with. I joined a mind group on meetup.com. That's been wonderful since it gives DD some play dates and me some adult time. Good luck!

Petunia844 · November 2012

I am still on maternity leave, but when I go back I will be part time, mostly from home. Originally I was going to do all from home, but when my mom offered to watch DS one day a week for me to go to the office I had to take her up on it. I am already going a tad stir crazy...but then if I'm away from him for a few hrs I miss him...haha. I'm hoping going into the office once a week will help. I also found a mom group locally, I haven't gone to my first meet up yet and I'm a little nervous because R is so much younger than a lot of the babes (it's a babies of 2012 group.). I have to give it a shot though!

pottermommy · November 2012

I actually went back to work after maternity leave and then after three months working full time I left to be a SAHM.

Moneywise- it is a struggle. We watch our lights and gas usage. We plan meals and use coupons and no longer eat out. I also help my aunt clean her house once every other week for an extra 100.00 and DH has picked up a few on the side computer jobs for extra money through the holidays and both kids birthdays.

Being at home with Gabriel is great, my panic attacks have pretty much stopped (excluding the one the other day after his doc appointment) and I LOVE seeing all of his milestones happen in front of me. But I have always worked full time, even through college. I miss people, I miss being with grownups and feeling proud of my accomplishments at work.

But I wouldn't trade it, it is taking some adjusting, I have been home for three months. And it comes easier every day. I am sure that with time you will get used to life without a job. I have started taking him to storytime and some community children's events to see other kids and to have some interaction with people who speak in full sentances Wink

crystalknpp · November 2012

It's so nice to know I'm not alone in feeling this way! I feel very fortunate to be able to be home with him but at the same time I miss the challenges and accomplishment I felt from working. Eventually I may look for something part time but for now I just want to try to enjoy the time I have with him. Any tips or suggestions or great coupon websites and money saving tips would be greatly appreciated! I really want to try and save wherever we can and get us on a little bit more of a strict budget until we see exactly how much extra we will have each month! This whole one income thing is my biggest concern right now.

chloebeth930 · November 2012

I stopped working when I was 4 months pregnant and haven't gone back since. I love being home with Lilliana but some days I want to pull my hair out. It is hard and not having much adult interaction is also difficult. I have been thinking about going back to work but then the thought of putting her in daycare sends me into a panic.

The best thing that I was able to do for myself with being a SAHM is to not play the role that society portrays being a SAHM as. Some days I worry that I am not doing it good enough because I haven't found 4720374 ways to entertain my 6 month old. If some days L needs to watch 2 hours of Mickey Mouse Club House then that is what happens. Just do what works best for you as a mom and as a family.

luvmyducks · November 2012

I'm not much help--I had no problem transitioning, but I also had a lot of time to prepare and think about it. We knew I was going to SAH before we even TTC. I did get very emotional when I resigned though--I was with the company for 11yrs and think of many of my coworkers as family. It was sad.

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