S/O - Female Friends as Adults

BeesMomma00 · November 2012

Hi everyone, it sounds like many of us are in similar situations. The one thing I want to say is this: Like ANY other relationship, frienships take work. I know it's hard but we all have to do better and keeping our friends.

Why? My mother has spent her life taking care of people but not herself. She shut out and lost track of many of her friends. She is now very lonely. I don't want to be her. Try, as hard as you can to maintain your female relationships. They will be very important later in life.

missyishere · November 2012

It is important to have friends for the long haul. I am also in a position where I feel I have kept friends around that are toxic. They are selfish, small minded, and irresponsible people. I've known them so long, I was just accepting them for who they were. Now that I'm a mother, I can't aline myself with those people anymore regardless if I've been friends with them for 15+ years. I have to be more choosey who I surround myself with for my own sanity and for the safety of my family. Those friends I can relate to and are loving people/parents, I will be faithful to and remain at their side as long as I live.

patchen30 · November 2012

Just curious what this post was in reference to - I don't know if I missed something...

My friendships have changed significantly since all of us started getting married/having babies. My friends who got married/had babies stopped making any effort to spend time w/ their friends, IMO. I vowed not to do the same, so when I had LO I continued to make an effort...and sadly realized my single friends didn't really want to hang out with another mom. We're all still friends, but it's not the same. I find myself having the most in common with my new "mom" friends that I've met through LO. I have a hard time with changing friendships - my good friends before this phase of my life had been good friends for 15 years.

shediva1 · November 2012

My sister and I have friends in h.s. that are also sisters, we drifted apart for about 7-8 years, and we are now just re-connecting. We are a little more mature, some of us now have kids, and we all basically just picked up where we left. We don't hang out often, maybe once every two months for lunch with the kids included. Its nice to know we all forgot about the past, and decided to go forward. In reality, I don't text or talk to them everyday, I 'talk' to you guys more. I had mentioned before, my real friend is my 50 yr old co-worker, who has daughters my age. Embarrassed LOL

I don't know the point of my post, but I guess, I can relate to all of you. DH even mentioned to me last week, that he hopes to meet new friends when J starts school. He would like to meet other parents in his future class so we can do things together with kids, I thought was cute.

mamaZbo · November 2012

I have very few friends as well, and the ones I do have really don't have much in common with me. They are single and childless. We moved around a bit, so I have no childhood friends that I keep in touch with and my Peace Corps friends are clear across the country. DH and I have been discussing how important it is for us to find some couple friends that we can start doing things with.

I am a little socially awkward as well, but I am really trying to make an effort to be friendly to the moms in my swimming class. There is one lady with a DD a few weeks older than Cora, so I am thinking of asking if she wants to set up a play date for our LOs...but I am nervous Embarrassed .

rous27 · November 2012

I'm in the same boat as you ladies. The two friends that I do have live in different states. I know that I should put forth the work to make new friends, but I feel like Jim Carry in The Cable Guy when I talk to someone new.

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