I'm worried his first word will be "no" :(

Re: I'm worried his first word will be "no" :(

• sadsadie

  November 2012

  You could try "not for..." instead. When the baby grabs for a book off a shelf, let's say, you say "Not for LO" or "that's not for you." Then redirect kiddo to something interesting that is for him saying "This is for LO" or "this is for you!"
  

  

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• TiffanyBerry member

  November 2012

  You might try pairing every no with a yes.  "No climbing on the bookshelves, it could fall over on you and hurt you badly.  But you can climb on the couch." "We don't rip up books; it hurts them. But we can rip this blank printer paper."  "Throwing hard blocks in the house is not safe; you could break something.  Here are some soft toys (or cotton balls, or crumpled paper, or whatever) that you can throw."

  It's a lot of redirection and channeling the exploring they need to do in safe ways.
  

  
  

  

  

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• mrsmonak member

  November 2012

  Honestly, from everything I've read, it is not the best idea to use the word "no" so often.  Like others have said, try to substitute short sentences instead of just saying "no".  It loses its meaning quickly if it is said all of the time.  It  could be a minor annoyance or a big safety risk, and there is no difference to the word.  It's confusing.

  But besides that, prevention is the best thing you can do to keep yourself from going crazy.  We got two extendable baby gates (Summer Infant brand - they are a beige mesh material.  We got them from craigslist) that we used to section off a large play area.  We took virtually everything out of the area that would cause us to have to redirect him.  It was a win-win, since we didn't have to take things away or turn him around every 5 seconds, and also he had the freedom to explore.  It creates a positive learning environment when you aren't correcting them constantly.  If this is at all possible, I highly recommend it.  Good luck! 

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• Girls2Boys0

  November 2012

  Redirect. You don't necessarily have to say "no" each time, especially if he's under a year. You can just grab him and redirect him to something fun.

  That won't teach him not to touch, climb, etc. but then again, if it's always "no" to every fun (in his mind) action, all the nos will become meaningless anyway. You can say "We don't do xyz" for really important things...electric outlets, grabbing for strange pets.
  

  As far as his first word being no, that wouldn't be so weird, LOL. Seriously. Many, many kids say "no" before "yes." I can't remember the psychology behind that but it's not an indicator of negative parenting or anything, so don't worry.

  Hugs, you're doing all the right things.
  

   

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• jcsumm0 member

  November 2012

  There are a million ways to convey you don't want him to do something without saying "no."  Sometimes I use a "ank!" sound--sort of like a buzzer on a game show?  I say "gentle" when she is being rough with the kitty or "we don't pull her tail."  "Don't touch" or just redirecting her to something she can do worked great when she was younger and still works often now. 

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• Mistifier member

  November 2012

  Thanks for all the advice ladies! I will sometimes say sentences like "insert item isn't for baby" but I was worried that it was too much since he is so young. I just want to make sure he doesn't get hurt. Whenever he is able to get to cords or wires he puts them directly in his mouth; I'm usually pretty fast at removing him from the situation, but I'm worried for when a time comes when I'm not. And as pps suggested, I feel I can already notice that "no" doesn't have meaning because he'll look over and give me an adorable smile accompanied with a little giggle, which is a whole new ball game! I really want his exploration and development to be fun for him, but I also want it to be safe. I'll start using sentences and redirection more so it will be more of a positive learning experience for my little man.
  Thanks so much for all the great advice and support ladies!
  
  ETA: Sorry for any errors, I'm bumping from my phone.

  

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• rubber_chicken member

  November 2012

  My SIL prefers "bad idea".  Which my nephew will now say while he's coloring on the walls hahahaha.

  My LO isn't mobile so she really isn't in to things yet, but she will grab my hair and glasses while I'm feeding her.  I'll take her hand and say "gentle please", meaning she can touch, but must be careful.  She probably doesn't get it yet, but I think this is an especially important thing for her to learn since we have a dog she's becoming interested in. 
  

  

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• chardonnay24 member

  November 2012

  My son's first word was no, and he's a happy, independent, well-adjusted almost 2 year old.

  We really, really struggled with this (and still do). "NO!" seems to be the natural thing to say when you want something to stop. However, I try to save "no" and "stop" for dangerous things. Instead of telling him what not to do, I've found it more helpful to tell him what to do.

  Our most used phrases include: 

  • "Be gentle to friends/mama/daddy/kitty"
  • "Use your walking feet"
  • "Jump/twist/dance/somersault/spin on the floor and not the bed/couch/chair/table/kitchen counter"
  • "Share with friends please"
  • "Food stays on the tray or goes in our mouths"
  • "Lamps stay on the tables, here's a ball to throw instead'

   

  We basically removed everything from the house that wasn't furniture, toys, and board books. We rearranged the furniture so that most cords were not accessible. We use outlet covers with cord shorteners and power strip covers for cords that he can still reach. We keep toys in each room to try and preempt any attemps at mischief. Several people have tried to tell us that that level of child-proofing was not necessary, but we wanted to create a "yes environment" so that he didn't have to hear the word "no" so often.

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• Mistifier member

  November 2012

  Thanks again for all the encouragement and advice ladies! The negatives are slowly being replaced with mor positives!

  

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