Mother in Law Request?

stidd · November 2012

So, my mother in law texted my husband this week asking for us to add to the registry for extra items for them to keep at their house...ie extra car seat/ pack n play/ high chair...etc. Is this normal? It seems a bit excessive to me, and I'm not totally comfortable doing this unless it's normal.

SPK926 · November 2012

No, it's not normal. A registry is for things that YOU need or want for baby; not for the grandparents. They can buy their own items or borrow from friends.

Nericole · November 2012

That is weird. If she wants those extra things at her house she should buy them herself.

AimeeL85 · November 2012

It's normal for some grandparents to keep those things at their house, but honestly pretty rude of her to ask you to add them to your registry. If someone buys a $150+ carseat just for her to keep, that's $150+ worth of things you need that you won't get....not to mention all the other things she asked you to put on there. I'm not sure what a good response would be, but I definitely would not add duplicates of those things.

Mama-Bear · November 2012

Ditto the others. If your parents/IL's want gear at their house, it's their place to purchase them.

downtown80 · November 2012

Are you planning on your child being at their house often? If its something where she is going to watch baby while you work, that's one thing. But if its for an occasional visit, it's not that difficult for you to give her your carseat, pnp, or whatever else for the day!

groundedwife · November 2012

I did register for doubles of things for my parents house and I got them. People will 2 of items and probably realize the star is for the caregiver / grandparents and make their own decision on whether or not they want to buy it. The way I see it... The more I can get them now, the easiest it will be for when we visit. I won't have to bring a bunch of stuff.

Do you see yourself spending a lot of time at the In-laws? If yes, then I would add the items to your registry and see what people do.

skychick312 · November 2012

SPK926:
No, it's not normal. A registry is for things that YOU need or want for baby; not for the grandparents. They can buy their own items or borrow from friends.

Exactly!

saturdaynightdoubletree · November 2012

I wouldn't register for grandparents... If her friends want to throw her a shower then whatever. Most things we had at grandparents houses were either hand me downs or yard sale an consignment finds.

jobiann · November 2012

NOT normal for "extra" items for grandparents to be on the registry.

Fun story...My MIL's friends (8 ladies) threw her a suprise grandma shower (it's her first grandchild) she didn't create a registry obviously, but they did get her a super cute diaper bag, a grandma tshirt, a grandma's sippy cup that is actually a wine glass, a rock n play, some books to read to baby, a really cute baby blanket, some bibs that say "I love Grandma", some baby toys and a gift certificate for a grandma and daughter (in law) mani-pedi! It was really sweet!

Kingston54 · November 2012

SPK926:
No, it's not normal. A registry is for things that YOU need or want for baby; not for the grandparents. They can buy their own items or borrow from friends.

Agreed x100. Unless she is planning on being your full time "daycare" when you are working, then I wouldn't do it.

this decaf life · November 2012

Not normal.

Usually grandparents buy their own items for their grandkids or you just bring everything with you if they're going to babysit or anything.

AnnabellW11 · November 2012

this decaf life:
Not normal.Usually grandparents buy their own items for their grandkids or you just bring everything with you if they're going to babysit or anything.nbsp;

This.
At this point just worry about the things you need.

choppinbroccoli22 · November 2012

It's unorthodox, and I have to say, I'd be uncomfortable with it.

Tell her to call local consignment stores to see if they have what she needs. They have great deals on stuff that's in good condition.

Chocodoxies · November 2012

A baby shower is a party meant to shower the parents to be with gifts to start their new lives as parents. As such, it doesn't make sense that she should ask you to add gifts for HER since she is not becoming a parent.

sugargal · November 2012

Very strange to me. I'd be uncomfortable with it as well. Shouldn't they be buying YOU those things? I personally wouldn't do it and I wouldn't be impressed if I bought someone a gift off their registry to find out it wasn't really being used by them..

laureneliza13 · November 2012

Agreed with all the PP...although at my baby shower we did end up getting doubles of some things and instead of taking them back I gave them to my MIL (a playmat, boppy, etc). She is going to be taking care of them during the day when I go back to work though.

LaurelBee · November 2012

EFF that. Very very odd.

Bride-hilda · November 2012

That's an idea! But it's pretty tacky. If I brought something to a shower, I'd want the MOM to have it, not the grandparents. If they want an extra high chair at their house for your baby, they can buy it themselves. Sounds like she wants to be really involved in your baby's life, which is awesome, but adding that stuff to your registry... I mean, you could get two car seats instead of something YOU need. That wouldn't be cool.

mejane123 · November 2012

At most I'd say add stuff to the registry AFTER the shower for the completion discount, but it's kind of rude to ask guests to buy for anyone but mom and dad. That way they or you and dad can get what they need after you see what you get at your shower.

The ONLY thing I'd say would be ok to add is a base for your carseat for them to put in their car, but I feel like even that sets a bad precedent and would make her think it's ok to add other stuff. Either way, a whole separate carseat is an unnecessary expense, IMO.

ETA And that's only if she's going to be your main source of childcare. If she's talking about just having stuff for when LO is visiting or she wants to bring him or her to the playground, then definitely no way.

KatieKim0815 · November 2012

Omg! Don't do it! It is rude to think that they should benefit from your shower like that! Aso hate it when Mils think that they should have a Hugh of stuff at their place. When we leave ds at their place we bring stuff too. He is not around often enough to justify them getting gear.

velazquezk1 · November 2012

We didn't. We bought some stuff, and registered for others. For example: we won't need a PNP and an Arms Reach AND a changing table at my house and my Moms. At least for now. So she bought me a PNP with the cuddle cove/changing table and we are keeping it at her house. We got 2 swings. One at my friends and family shower and one at my work shower. We sent one to her house and kept the other at ours. We didn't specifically register for 2 of everything but if we get doubles we can use it.

I wouldn't register. I think its tacky. We are buying her a 40 base for our infant seat and when baby is getting just to that point where we need to switch out we will buy her a convertible for her car. That's all she needs, really.

MelissaRae1525 · November 2012

Whether or not she's going to be your full time day care provider, I don't think that's what a registry should be used for. If I saw two high chairs, boppys, strollers, etc, I'd definitely side eye it.

Bethbsn06 · November 2012

saturdaynightdoubletree:
I wouldn't register for grandparents... If her friends want to throw her a shower then whatever. Most things we had at grandparents houses were either hand me downs or yard sale an consignment finds.

My mom did watch dd1 one day each week on her day off and everything at her house was used. Heck, most of our stuff (swing, bouncer, play mats....) was used!

Bugaboo149 · November 2012

If my mother in law would have asked that I would have told her she was crazy and laughed at her. That list is for you and Im sure the people buying off the list would not feel the same buying for someone else's house. Nice try MIL. But tell her to try again.

Alex17 · November 2012

Wtf. ThAt is weird.

doggiemom4 · November 2012

SPK926:
They can buy their own items or borrow from friends.

This.

RissKay · November 2012

That is just weird. No, I wouldn't add anything to the registry for "their" house.

My MIL basically made a nursery in her house; paint, crib, swing. We live 9 hours away, and we have told them from the beginning that our LO won't be staying over night at their house because of the loud dogs and other reasons.

Some inlaws are just WEIRD.

Rosebean · November 2012

If she wants gear, why doesn't she look into buying from a previously loved, like new, consignment store? I agree with PPs... It is not up to you to provide and outfit her home as she sees fit...l especially with brand new things.

stidd · November 2012

Thanks for the response. I WILL not being doing that. I've never heard of anyone doing that before, and I just wanted to make sure that it wasn't what I should do. My MIL is driving me crazy and is pretty high maintenance. Thanks again for all the solid, normal advice Smile

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