Does anyone else get upset/jealous when they hear people they know have successful deliveries that didn't have to end in a c/s?? Not in a mean way, but in a "ugh.... why couldn't I?" way....
Everytime I am at peace with how things happened with me, someone I know delivers a baby that is bigger than what DS was and had no complications, pushed only a few times...etc.... and I'm left thinking about mine all over again, wondering if I could have done something different.
Oh well! Just a blah day for me, I guess! Anyway, I am very happy my co-worker had a successful delivery and her baby girl is perfect and healthy! It just makes me wish and wonder and think about how the next time will end up being.....Just needed to vent!
Our TTC Journey
TTC #1: May 2011
BFP: 10/27/2011 | EDD: 6/30/12
DS born 6/28/12 via C/S
TTC #2: September 2018
Me: 36 | DH: 39
Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years
BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF
August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled
9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks
10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN
11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst
3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP
11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.

Re: Anybody else?
I am happy how my delivery went (recovery is another story). After laboring for 30 hours and getting to 3cm I was so happy just to finally see DD and know she was healthy and safe.
What really gets me upset is when ppl say "Im so sorry! How awful not to get to deliver your baby..." Um...what? Thats really the only time where I have felt any kind of sadness about it. Its hard to hear that having major surgery to deliver your baby is something to be sorry about!
We Made A Wish....
And You Came True!
This is EXACTLY how I feel! word for word! Thank you for sharing, crying is what I wanted to do all day! I'm Better now and I too focus on my time with my ds, it's just gets to me when anyone I know goes into labor....
BFP: 10/27/2011 | EDD: 6/30/12
DS born 6/28/12 via C/S
TTC #2: September 2018
Me: 36 | DH: 39
Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years
BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF
August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled
9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks
10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN
11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst
3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP
11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.
The worst for me was watching those darn Huggies "Enjoy the Ride" commercials in the hospital - I was there extra long, and watched the hospital's baby channel quite a bit.
The lady in the commercial had a vaginal birth, of course, and then was all glowy and happy afterwards - it was like a slap in my face every time I saw it.
I don't watch any birth shows anymore, even over a year after.
I try not to, but sometimes I flip through the channels and "A Baby Story" comes on and I can't turn it off... then I get all depressed haha stupid stupid show!!!!!
BFP: 10/27/2011 | EDD: 6/30/12
DS born 6/28/12 via C/S
TTC #2: September 2018
Me: 36 | DH: 39
Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years
BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF
August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled
9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks
10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN
11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst
3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP
11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.
AGREED!!!
Very powerful words... thank you so much for that!
BFP: 10/27/2011 | EDD: 6/30/12
DS born 6/28/12 via C/S
TTC #2: September 2018
Me: 36 | DH: 39
Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years
BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF
August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled
9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks
10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN
11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst
3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP
11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.
Amen!
It's been a year and I'm just now coming to terms with my cs. I felt robbed of my birth experience. I feel like I made the wrong decision about allowing them to induce me. I will say the one thing that makes me feel better about "giving in" after 15 hours of labor is that my DS's umbilical cord was tied in a knot. The OB said we probably would've gone to an emergency CS if I tried to deliver him vaginally. Either way, he's healthy, I'm healthy and that's all that matters. It just gets depressing sometimes.
I'm sending you internet hugs
FWIW, I meant a mama who vaginally delivered a footling baby (like mine), and though LO is fine now, she basically went through days of hell. It's terrible of me, but focusing on that story makes me feel better.