Multiples

Sick of being compared!

I am sick to death of people always comparing me to friends that are pregnant with one baby. Obviously I'm bigger. I'm carrying an additional baby in me. I realize I'm not as far along as them and still bigger.

I'm also tired of the "you'll have it so much easier than we will because you have two the same age and they'll sooth each other and they will both just lay there at the same time! I have to deal with a newborn on top of a 1.5 year old running away from me!" blah blah blah.

Rant over. Would anyone like to shed their light, I feel like I have no comeback being that I'm a FTM.
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Re: Sick of being compared!

  • I just look at people funny, nod and smile.  
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  • I think having the age difference is harder then twins somedays becasue you go back & forth so much. When I just have the twins we are doing the same thing at a time, but I know that will change once they are mobile .....but I chose this so I have nothing to complain about & neither do your friends who chose to have their children so close as well.
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  • all i know is that in the beginning some was ALWAYS crying. Someone always had to wait their turn. The neediest got my attention first. Babies aren't aware that someone else's needs are greater than theirs. It was just plain hard all.the.time.

    Now however, they do have a built in playmate. so sometimes its nice that they can play together. but they are still normal 2.5 year olds who don't want to share/wait their turn/acknowledge that someone else's needs are great than theirs!



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  • That always stinks!  I feel when comments like that are made to me, I really want to bring up the not so pleasant facts of having two at the same time but then I just seem whiny.  So instead I just smile and nod.

     

    M & M
    06/12 - BFP!!!!
    Beta #1 15dpo - 256
    Beta #2 18dpo - 1097
    6wk U/S on 07/02 ~ TWINS!!!
    EDD 02/21/13
    09/10/12 Found out it's two Boys!!!! Sam and Jake
    Jacob and Samuel born 1/29/13 at 36 weeks. photo F489900B-BB44-4C44-ACD1-ABB73509E3B2-9032-000005E7AE7EF53E.jpg Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • There's really nothing to do but smile and nod or move away (hang up on the phone) bc as far as I can tell - people always want to think either that they have it worse OR that you just need to toughen up! 

    It's about them not you so try not to let it add to your stress! We've all been there (or still are there!) 

    Raising 2 amazing step-sons while ttc since 2006. Moved to adoption 11/2011 with one more IVF attempt to go...YEA! 2 healthy heartbeats May 2012! My girls have arrived! Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I got SO sick of this stuff about halfway through my pregnancy. Ever since then my response has been "Oh, I had no idea you had twins!". When they give me the confused look or tell me they actually don't I try to look disappointed and say "Oh I just assumed since you know so much about it".

    Well, most of the time I just ignore, but in my witty/sarcastic moments that's what I do. Wink

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  • ugh so frustrating! My response is usually...."you're right we are so blessed" when you don't feed into their drama and try and one up them they usually back off!
  • I can help with at least one reply.  When they say "they will soothe each other" you can point out that is not always the case.  I have twin girls, and since birth they have fed off each others reactions.  If one cries, the other cries a sympathy cry.  If one gets more attention, the other cries.  If one has a pacifier, the other wants one.  If one gets fed, the other wants to eat (even if she just ate!). Some do sooth each other, but not always!

    I would also just mention "at least you will never have to feel guilty, you can always devote your time to one infant".

     

  • Omg i hate that! I had a medical assistant at the pediatricians office say " i wish i couldve had twins because it would be much easier than my 2 girls who are 15 months apart " i gave her the side eye and thought wth lady! Lol i said i dont think so!
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