Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
MommyLuvsMe1210
member
I can use some informed opinions/advice/experiences from women who have BTDT. Doctor's appointment yesterday was less than stellar. On
the one hand, I FINALLY dilated to a 1 after 5 weeks of contracting (with no progress - no dilation and/or effacement) with a soft cervix. On the
other, baby boy is still floating pretty high in there. Doc scheduled me for
an appointment next week for a final weight estimate and growth scan,
and gave me two options:
Re: Not looking for a debate, but advice/opinions & exp.
I went through the induction thing and ended with a c/s. I dont' regret for one second trying it though. It was a 28 hour labor and 3 hours of pushing, but up until the very end it was enjoyable, plesant and relaxing once I got the epi. I was started slowly with pitocin over night while I slept and then they increased it every hour in the morning and broke my water. I did make it to 10 cm and fully efaced, but I did have a little bit of an interior lip and I just couldn't get him down any further.
That being said, I wouldn't do it again for my second one (I wouln't be allowed to be induced anyway) but if it were my first again I would do it all over again.
At least you have a little more time to prepare yourself for the possibility of going into a c/s. I really didnt' expect that would ever happen to me!
I should mention too that I was also contracting like crazy for weeks before. They would be regular for a few hours and then go back to being sporatic.
BFP: 10/27/2011 | EDD: 6/30/12
DS born 6/28/12 via C/S
TTC #2: September 2018
Me: 36 | DH: 39
Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years
BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF
August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled
9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks
10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN
11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst
3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP
11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.
I also went into labor with my first got to a 10 and he got stuck (coming out face first) and he was already so far down they couldn't get him back up and they said he would have broke every bone in his face if I would have delivered him naturally plus at the very end his heart rate dropped so low I was being pumped with drugs being wheeled down the hallway it all happened so quickly and I don't remember alot of his birth b/c it was an emergency they pumped me with so many drugs to make sure I was numb I was more or less knocked out and only remember a few mins here and there. Luckily my husband and nurses took TONS of pics for me since they knew I was more or less drifting in and out of consciousness.
But that being said, he was def stuck, our dr is a BIG man, and my husband could hear him GRUNTING trying to get him out. So I'm glad I went with a c/s. This is number 3 and will have ANOTHER c/s. I honestly like it, and if I knew what I knew now, I would have just went with a c/s it was alot of pain and waiting that could have been avoided. When I just ended up with a c/s anyways. Plus I feel if we wouldn't have waited until the very last minute I could have been pumped with less drugs and remembered more of his birth.
Whatever you decide GL. In the end, all it matters is you have a happy healthy baby.
I do agree with this. I should have added, though, that nothing will be done until 41 weeks. My EDD is Saturday, so she just wants me to think about what I *would* want to do moving forward.
Scheduling is an issue at the hospital I'm delivering at because of all the traffic it gets. It's the district teaching hospital, the emergency NICU transfer point, the largest ER in the district. It's just a safety measure at this point, I'm assuming.
Do you want a VBAC? I say go for it if you want one. I wasn't interested in attempting a VBAC, so I went with what would be the best and most stress-free for me and Z. It ended up turning out well. Some people will tell you that VBAC is the only way to go, some people will tell you c-sections are the best, but in the end you need to pick what will make you the happiest during/upon reflection.
And yes, people will call you selfish for an elective c-section, but it's not their body or their baby, so who cares what they think.
Yeah, I remember over on the BMB you mentioned this. I can understand both sides of the argument, you know? I applaud you for being so brave.
I was induced at 39 weeks 5 days. After 21 hours of labor it ended in a c/s. It was a horrible recovery that included them finding 2 blood clots in my incision when they took my staples out. They had to re-open my incision and have home health come to the house for two weeks to irrigate it and re-pack it every day.
I wish I could have delivered vaginally. But, i'm 5'00" and 110 before getting pregnant. I have very narrow hips, never progressed past a 4 and they said she never would have fit anyway since she was 8.8 at birth.
If I ever do it again I will try for a VBAC. May end with the same results, but I would love to avoid the c/s if I could.
Why do you have to induce or have a c/s? Why can't you wait until you go into labor on your own? You aren't supposed to make progress before labor and you aren't even 40 weeks yet. I am confused as to the rush.
ETA: Nevermind, I should had read the responses first. I would personally try the induction first because I would want to VBAC.
I progressed VERY slowly the weeks leading up to actual labor, and then once my water broke I went from 3-10 in 6 hours. DD was not making ANY progress even though I was having contractions. They called it "failure to descend." Dr. said he couldn't even use the vacuum/forceps or anythingto help- she wasn't far enough down. So, I ended up with a C-section. Personally, I would try a vaginal birth and labor first.
Even though a VBAC is a possibility, if for some reason you are always a C-section person, having a C-section limits the amount of kids you can have (according to my dr. anyway) and there are other risks associated with it. If you have a choice- I'd at least try a vaginal birth.
I'm not flaming you, but I think it's more of a convenience than a safety issue for them. I would hope that any hospital with an OR has the ability to do an unplanned c/s at any time.
If only given the choice between the two, I would attempt an induction, but in all honesty I would push back and not do anything but wait for labor to start on its own. Is there a reason you have to choose by 41 weeks? Having NSTs every few days past 41 weeks is a viable option, too.
Are you planning a VBAC? If so, you can still safely go past 41 weeks. I had a VBAC with my second son, and have no regrets. I also went past 41 weeks with him. One of the biggest factors in my decision to VBAC was the fact that we might want to have a third, and I'm personally not comfortable with having three c/s.
hth and good luck!
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
Sounds a lot like my first. I didn't dilate at all and when I was finally in labor, she hung out so high they asked me to push a little to get her down before the broke my water (in hindsight, as labor was progressing, I wish they hadn't as it was unnecessary, but I didn't know any better at the time. They were in a hurry because they had a LOT of women in labor that night). I was 6cm and she was still at -2 position at the time.
I didn't contract at all until the night I was in labor. At least, not that I felt. I felt my first contraction ever 8pm. My daughter was born, complication free (other than coming out sunny side up), at 8am.
I personally, would schedule an induction with the understanding that it may end in a cesarean and prepare yourself to be okay with that.
In the meantime, lots of walks, lots of sex, and maybe climb a few flights of stairs just in case. ;-) There are lots of ways to encourage labor, though your body won't do it until it's ready without actual medical intervention.
After having 30 hours of induced labor that ended in a c-section due to a stalled labor, I would TOTALLY schedule an elective C-Section if I had to do it again.
For me, the c-section was cake and recovery wasn't too bad either. The 30 hours of labor, on the other hand, was awful.
As you know it's a very personal choice. There is no right way to go in my opinion. Everyone has their own opinion and preference. You have to do what you and your dh are comfortable with.
With that said, even though ds1 was measuring big and I had PTL from 24 wks on I never made it past 1cm. My ob practice lets you go to the day you turn 41 wks then will schedule an induction unless there is a big medical reason to do a c/s they will not do them. My water broke with major meconium at 40w5d. Even with pitocin I couldn't get past 1cm and he refused to drop at all. I opted for a c/s at the 9 hours mark and I never have regretted it. He was 9bs 12oz with a huge head. My pelvic area just wasn't wide enough for him. I've had two more c/s since then with no regrets either. I had easy recoveries with all and no complications. Good luck!
Oh and my office makes you schedule the induction at your 40wk appt too. It's just a date mainy for the hospital. Plus for me it was a way that I could get the ob in my practice that I wanted.
This for me too. I never made a "birth plan" because really, you don't know what will happen (unless you schedule a C). When people would ask, I would say my plan is to "go with the flow" and have a baby. I ended up having an emergency c-section because of DS' head compressing the cord (it was over the top of his head) and dropping his heart rate way down. This was discovered at a NST at 39w 3days and they sent me to the hospital via ambulance. If I had gone into labor naturally, it would have ended in an emergency c-section anyway and DS could've been worse off.
We plan on having 1-2 more. I am going to schedule c-sections. I don't even care to try for a vbac. I am not at all hung up on having a vaginal birth and would feel zero disappointment. My c-section recovery overall was pretty good, no complications, and my scar healed great.
I wasn't dilated at all at my 40 week appt, either. My doctor didn't discuss effacement or anything like that.
My labor started on it's own at 40w6d. I would never just opt for a c section, you never know what will happen.
Good luck!
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
I also went through an induction and ended, after 30 hours, in c-section. I can't tell you what to do; I think it's different for everyone. For me, my c-section was incredibly painful due to crappy anesthesia and the recovery was really difficult. Also, my boys were in the NICU for a short duration of time and because I had a csection and catheter, I wasn't able to see them for almost 36 hours. Since I didn't really have a choice about the c-section, I didn't feel as guilty or bad about it as I might have had I chosen it. Given how poorly it went, if I had elected to do it I think I might always have a "if only I'd just delivered vaginally" thought in my head. Keep in mind, I'm not one of those granola "vaginal is the REAL way" people; before delivering, I was totally equal either way.
All that being said, my induction was obviously also a tremendous waste of time, energy, and resources. Because my water was broken for 17-18 hours, I developed an infection and both my boys and I had to be on antibiotics. By the time I got the c-section I was so physically and emotionally exhausted that I'm sure it didn't help make my recovery any easier.
So...I'm sure this is totally not helpful. I guess I just think that c-section recovery is hard and if you can avoid it you might as well. But I feel you on not wanting to go through the 30 hours of induction I went through. It was stressful and anxiety-inducing not only for me, but also for my family and friends.
Lost our first little peanut on 1/17/2012 at 9 weeks and 5 days. We miss you little blessing, but we know you were too perfect for this world.
My multiples/parenting/pregnancy/miscarriage blog