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Late Term and Child Loss
Cincy/Toronto
member
How are you coping?
Cincy/Toronto
member
I am following through on promises that I made to Lillian. I told her that when she was born I would pump enough breast milk for her to have for a year, on top of her nursing. That was my goal...since she didn't get one drop of it, I am donating all of it to the Breast Milk Bank of Ohio in her name. I was looking at some friends photographs of her two boys, when I realized many more things I would never get to do with my daughter. Aside from missing out on brushing her hair, reading her bedtime stories, girl scouts...I wasn't going to be able to take those 1st day of school pictures each year, plan birthday parties, kiss it and make it all better, help with all the craziness of her first dance, wipe away the tears of her first broken heart. However, I did get some really good news to help in coping with all of this. Yesterday I was finally approved as a Breast Milk Donor! I have been pumping and storing all of Lillian's milk from the very first day that it came in. Maybe now Lillian and I can help another family, hopefully a lot of families do all the things we aren't able to do together.
I've also taken up crocheting. I took one 3 hour class for beginners at JoAnn and I learned the basic stitches and have successfully completed my scarf. Even though it isn't perfect or some great color (pea green yarn) because it came with the class, I'm never going to get rid of it or give it to anyone else. I shed a few tears while making that scarf. It was my first day out of the house without Lillian's Daddy. I learned how to be patient again as I became frustrated with learning how to do something completely new to me. That scarf helped me focus on something and helped pass large chunks of time without realizing it. That scarf is my healing scarf and will always hold a special place in my 
, even if it is broken. And for the record, I did learn how to crochet a flower from purple yarn and I attached it to the scarf and it's a lot prettier now.
So, I told Lillian we would donate milk and we have. I told her I would learn to crochet, and I did. I also told her we would get Chiropractic care & go she a dermatologist...I'm still working on those...its baby steps.
Did you promise your baby anything? Have you thought about following through on those promises?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: How are you coping?
I must say I am very impressed by everything you are doing! That is so great you are donating milk. It must make you (and Lillian) feel so good! Some little baby is getting an awesome gift from you and Lillian.
And I'm sure the scarf is wonderful. Everyone starts from somewhere!
We promised Bradley we'd do everything we could to send him to college on us. We budgeted so we could contribute $900 a month to his college savings. Now we have a lot of extra money each month... We're just going to put it aside so our next LO will have a nice jump start for their college savings.
I told Bradley after he passed that we'd make him a little sibling ASAP. I'm trying to lose the rest of my pregnancy weight so when my uterus is ready, I'll be ready. This has been my number one focus (besides grieving) for the past 6 weeks. Not sure if this is more for me or Bradley though...
You're clearly a better person than me!
Wow - you're awesome for doing all of that.
The one thing I promised Devon was that I would never forget him. And I haven't. I still talk about him, I say his name as often as I can, I take time in the morning to go to the spot we have his memory box and ashes and have a few moments with him. Honestly, I was so in shock over losing him that I didn't make any other promises but to always remember him and live for him.
Our promise to Patricia was only to love her and remember her. Like OSUWifey, we do this by talking about her often with each other and our family and friends and constantly recognizing her significance in our lives.
My promise to myself for Patricia was to stay healthy and not let her death cause anything negative in my life other than the sadness of not having her with me. I didn't want to turn to alcohol or food. I kept up healthy eating habits and DH and I began walking almost every night. As a result, I am halfway through my rainbow pregnancy and am still below what I weighed before I got pregnant with Patricia.