frustrated with DH....vent!

kpearse99 · November 2012

I am so completely frustrated with my dh! I just don't understand how he can be more interested in his new video game than experiencing our sons first tastes of oatmeal! Seriously? sometimes i really think he couldn't care less, even though i know he does. I guess he just doesn't understand why these things are such a big deal for people....
I'm so frustrated... i took lo out for a drive so i could get away and so lo could try to nap! I just want to cry!

marleysimon · November 2012

I also think men just aren't as attentive. The other night I said "My stomach really hurts" maybe 3 times while my husband was holding our daughter and looking at the nightly news. Then he turns to me and says, "What's wrong with you?" because I guess my face visibly expressed that I was in pain. Lol- I just told you 3 times! But he didn't hear me even once.

mamayo26 · November 2012

I just think some people (mostly men) don't get that it is important to us and it is just easier for them to shrug it off.

My DH does it sometimes too, I just tell him that it is a big deal and important to me and to just do it. (Before people think that I am coming off as a total *** to my DH, that is the agreement we have...I tell him what I want and why and that way he knows, and will usually do it. He would rather me do that than to get mad at him after the fact).

Just take a breath and calm down...maybe make him the designated picture taker for these things and then he has to be involved/watch.

kpearse99 · November 2012

NSYoder26:
Just take a breath and calm down...maybe make him the designated picture taker for these things and then he has to be involved/watch.

That's the thing, I asked/told him to take the pictures and video it while I fed him and he said okay. I told him I was getting it ready and he started to play his game!!! I then said, "Is daddy ready to take pictures of you??!" and he replied with "Now?"

ugh.... So I did it myself!!

knash87 · November 2012

I'm sorry for some reason it seems like most men don't care about these things like we do. I asked my dh if he wanted me to wait to give lo her first bite of solids until he was home from work, and he said to just do it whenever and take a pic. I did wait until he was there though... I think these things are important so it's hard to imagine why they wouldn't be to someone else!

unaveragejane · November 2012

IMO it's a hormone thing...we've got the chemicals that make this stuff important to us, and men don't. It definitely is frustrating when they don't make an effort to participate after we have made it clear it is an important thing for us. Try to treasure the one-on-one time you get with your LO and hope that DH catches your enthusiasm.

tjkdlhb · November 2012

That sounds exactly like DH the first time my daughter ate solids... I was super excited and he just didn't get it. He spends hours playing on the floor with her, bathes her, loves her to bits, he just didn't get that as a big deal.

fryrat · November 2012

I agree that a lot has to do with the maternal aspect, however there is a human part of it, where any other person would not want to sit there and watch you feed a baby. I was working with my DH to get him to help with feedings, and when I asked about his lack of enthusiasm, he said he's just not as good at it as I am, and fears that she won't get enough to eat. He also went through the phase where he did not want to get her ready in the morning, or for bed. We got past that by him doing it, but me standing right there with him, telling him how I do things. Maybe if you take that approach with your DH and feeding, then he will get it. Sometimes daddy feels left out because mommy gets to have so many first moments, and feeding is something where you can definitely let DH and DS have that moment together.

MiracleK · November 2012

Let me guess...Call of Duty? My DH is the same way. It's so pathetic. I unplug the gaming box, that usually gets his attention!

kpearse99 · November 2012

MiracleK:
Let me guess...Call of Duty? My DH is the same way. It's so pathetic. I unplug the gaming box, that usually gets his attention!nbsp;

YES!!! stupid video game!! Then he didn't understand why I choose to give p his last feeding in the bed room....It was too loud and I didn't want to watch him play!!

Thanks for the suggestions ladies, I know men don't have the natural instinct and I know my dh will get more involved when lo starts doing more but I thought it was clear that the "firsts" were important! I try some of the things that were mentioned!

kristinanderik · November 2012

MiracleK:
Let me guess...Call of Duty? My DH is the same way. It's so pathetic. I unplug the gaming box, that usually gets his attention!

I wish I had the balls to do that, but DH wouldn't speak to me for the rest of the day! Why do men in their 30's still need to play video games?!

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