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Over it.

+j+k++j+k+
in Blended Families

Okay, so my boo-hooing the other day is over.

I gave H money this past week to go check on some jobs and not only does he tell me this week that he's having to do a little side work for his friend to pay for gas to get back, he shows up here at work with DD in a nice new jacket and brand new jeans.

I comment on it non chalantly and he says, "Yeah, Teresa saw my jeans I had on and said, 'Oh no, those won't do.' and she bought me some jeans."  He left his good jeans here at home.

So he's spending money he doesn't have and/or she's buying him stuff. Last time he went, she gave him a shirt.

Teresa is a friend of his, who I became friendly with during our marriage.  She was all buddy buddy with  me but is now saying that the reason I'm divorcing H is because I probably found someone. WTF?  So she's perpetuating all this crap about me and H is feeding off of it.  I get she's his friend. I get that. I get that she's siding wtih him.  But the thing that irks me is that she has no reason at all to believe or think that is why. She is speculating from NOTHING. 

Now on the buying & giving thing - she's always been like that. She and her now ex husband used to come see us and she'd bring/buy us things all the time.  I think that's just the giving nature of her personality. Someone else speculated that maybe SHE has designs on H.  If so, I don't care really.  And if she wants to be his friend and take care of him fine.   Someone else can take care of him - just don't be making assumptions or lies about me when you know nothing about my life or the truth within my marriage.

H already is an ass about falsely accusing me of cheating on him. I don't need someone else feeding him false rumors. I am about as monogamous of a person as you can get. And that's one of the reasons I'm leaving H. He's the only man in my life that couldn't see that I was. No one's ever questioned my fidelity (for good reason) but him.

Can't an individual just be UNHAPPY in their marriage and not run off and find someone else in order to move on and BE HAPPY?  I am learning I am a rare breed.

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Re: Over it.

  • Sunday924Sunday924 member
    I believe you can be just unhappy but it's much easier for him (or anyone) to blame it on somthing like cheating then to own up and realize that it was HIM (and his actions or lack of) that made you unhappy.
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  • +just+j++just+j+ member

    Oops!  Logged in with my old account.

    That's totally what it is.  And I do kind of wonder how much he's distorting.  I haven't talked to her myself.

    But the new jeans and new jacket really piss me off.  If he doesn't have the money to look for a job, he sure as hell doesn't have money for a new jacket. Unless of course she bought it all for him.

    I just need to get over it and hope he gets this job so he moves out and I can proceed with life.

    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
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  • Karma1969Karma1969 member

    Anyone that he has in his life will be on his side and believe whatever he has to say.  Worrying about what they think or what they are chirping in the STBX ear won't do you any good.

     

    Disengage from his drama and focus on starting your next chapter.

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