2nd day back and already feeling so overhelmed

IBackBevo · November 2012

I'm an attorney and today is my 2nd day back at work. My LO is 10 weeks old as of today. On top of that, he was a pre-emie and had IUGR (intra-uterine growth restriction). I had pre-eclampsia. He is in the 3rd percentile for weight currently, has colic, GERD (reflux) and possible milk allergy. And I'm still having trouble with my c-section healing.

I am supposed to only be working 3 days a week (and am being paid accordingly), but already my boss dumped on me a huge project. It is a response to an MSJ in a federal case that has been ongoing for FOUR YEARS involving numerous complex issues. The MSJ itself is 20 pages and has hundredsof pages of attachments. I know NOTHING about this case. Have never even looked at it before or even HEARD of it until this morning. It has folders full of documents and depositions that I will have to reveiw before responding. I will have to do a ton of legal research. The response is due the Monday after Thanksgiving...I am supposed to only be working 4 days between now and then due to my "reduced" schedule. However, knowing the magnitude of this project, I will have a hard time finishing this project if I work EVERY SINGLE day (including Thanksgiving and weekends) between now and then...and put in 12 hour days. Plus, I'm sitting in 2+ hours of traffic every day.

I am feeling so overwhelmed...I'm sitting in my office crying and wondering if I made the wrong decision to come back to work. Yesterday, I left at 6 am and didn't get home until about 6:30 pm. I basically came home, ate dinner, cleaned up and got LO ready for bed. I had no quality time at all with him. This would not be bad if this was only 3 days a week, but already it is looking like it is going to be more...

I was worried that what has happened might happen - that I would be given as much work as before (when I was full-time) but only paid for part-time. I am literally going to have to work on this non-stop over the next two weeks to get it done. What is even more depressing, is that now because I am only "part-time" and being paid for part-time, after a third of my income going to taxes (DH's income alone puts in 2nd to highest tax bracket) and paying the nanny, I'm only taking home about 2,000 a month. It doesn't even seem worth it. And it breaks my heart to think that instead of enjoying LO's first Thanksgiving, I'm going to have to be working on this thing. I seriously just want to up and quit.

In a way, I saw this coming...my boss did the same thing to me when I was pregnant. When I first was diagnosed with the pre-e, my doctor told me I could stay working, but I was supposed to go to a reduced schedule of just 2 days a week and my work load was supposed to be reduced. I talked to my boss about it, he acted like it was fine and the very next day he dumped a crap load of very stressful work on me. I ended up in the hospital the next day with my blood pressure through the roof, my protein levels sky high and my OB wanting to deliver at 34 weeks.

Sorry for the long vent. I just feel so overwhelmed and so like this isn't worth it...

sadie+w · November 2012

I don't know what your relationship with your boss is like, but if I were in your situation, I would talk to him and ask what his expectations are. Are you expected to continue to work full time hours? Or did he have a different understanding of how long it would take to complete the work he just gave you?

I am returning to work three days per week as well, and it is very important to me to maintain a part time work load, as I want the rest of my time to spend with LO. Thankfully my boss is extremely supportive of that and has mentioned numerous times that he wants to make sure I have a part time work load. If he wasn't, though, I wouldn't have a problem telling him that if his expectation was that I would maintain a full time workload, then the job was not going to work out.

IBackBevo · November 2012

sadie+w:
I don't know what your relationship with your boss is like, but if I were in your situation, I would talk to him and ask what his expectations are. Are you expected to continue to work full time hours? Or did he have a different understanding of how long it would take to complete the work he just gave you? I am returning to work three days per week as well, and it is very important to me to maintain a part time work load, as I want the rest of my time to spend with LO. Thankfully my boss is extremely supportive of that and has mentioned numerous times that he wants to make sure I have a part time work load. If he wasn't, though, I wouldn't have a problem telling him that if his expectation was that I would maintain a full time workload, then the job was not going to work out.

We discussed it and he was fine with my only working 60 percent time (3 days a week) and accordingly he is only paying me 60 percent of my original pay. But already he is giving me just as much work as when I was full-time. Even if I was full-time, I would feel like he was taking a giant crap on me by giving me this last-minute project right before Thanksgiving. What it comes down to is that he didn't do this response (even though he has had almost a month to work on it) and he is going out of town for the entire week of Thanksgiving and doesn't want to mess with it...so he is just passing it off to me without regard for the fact that it will take non-stop work between now and then for me to get updated on the case and get it done.

If I am going to review all of the documents and pleadings and depos and do any sort of quality work on researching and drafting a response, I am going to be having to work on it everyday between now and when it is due for pretty much every waking hour...probably even including Thanksgiving. And even then I don't know how good the response is going to be because I am just not familiar with the case. He has had 4 years to get acquianted with the case and I'm supposed to do it in 4 days...and research and draft a MSJ response.

Honestly, my boss isn't the type I can talk to about things like this. He gives you the work, expects it done, expects it done on time and expects quality work. Even if I were to talk to him about it, nothing would change. Honestly, this was my fear all along when we worked out the "part-time" deal...that I would get the same amount of work, but just get paid less. I knew I could not have a kid and keep up my pre-pregnancy work schedule/hours because it was just too much...so the 3 days a week was the compromise...but apparently the compromise was just pay me less for the same amount of work and same amount of stress.

shakinros · November 2012

Ugh that sounds terrible. Wen though you don't have a good communicative relationship with your boss, I think you need to speak up on this one. You can't reasonably get it done in that amount of time. Say what you can get done and be realistic for yourself. If you set up the expectation that you'll still do full time work while getting paid 60 percent it will never get better.

Also, you'll only take home 2000 a month? Did I read that right? I am only asking home about 250 a month. I'm working for the health insurance and because I like my field. I think if you have the financial freedoms to say 2K a month is no big deal, you can give yourself permission to do work that makes you feel fulfilled and not miserable.

IBackBevo · November 2012

shakinros:
Ugh that sounds terrible. Wen though you don't have a good communicative relationship with your boss, I think you need to speak up on this one. You can't reasonably get it done in that amount of time. Say what you can get done and be realistic for yourself. If you set up the expectation that you'll still do full time work while getting paid 60 percent it will never get better. Also, you'll only take home 2000 a month? Did I read that right? I am only asking home about 250 a month. I'm working for the health insurance and because I like my field. I think if you have the financial freedoms to say 2K a month is no big deal, you can give yourself permission to do work that makes you feel fulfilled and not miserable.

Yes, after taxes and paying the nanny, I will be bringing home about $2k a month. My husband is a physician and makes a good living so we could live off of his income alone. Plus, we have a good amount in savings. By no means do I think $2k is chump change, but my reason for working is not because we need the money to pay bills. My main reason for continuing to work is because I am afraid that if I leave the workforce completely that I will never be able to re-enter it again in my current field...or, at least, it would be very difficult.

Thanks for the advice. I am just going to have to talk to my boss. I am sure alot of my feelings are also related to missing little one and feeling guilty, too. I worry about him constantly. I do not know going back to work would be so hard...and it feels even harder when you come back and it feels like your boss just dumps on you.

kirac · November 2012

You definitely need to talk to your boss and try to make the change. If he doesn't change, then I would look for something else part-time. I have several lawyer friends that had to make adjustments post baby. Go off track, go in house or become a consultant to get some flexibility. GL

kirac · November 2012

Also, outline a plan before you talk to him. Show how many hours you had before and what that covered. Estimate how many hours it should/will take you and say but I only have this amount of time, so I suggest not doing this project or whatever. Present the solution not just the problem (I can't make this work). He's not going to help you come up the the solution.

IBackBevo · November 2012

Thanks again for all of the advice. I talked to my boss and basically said I didn't see how I could get this done in the six working days I have until it is due and he said, "Sure you can." Then I said, "Well, I can't work longer than the three days a week and I just don't see how that is enough time...there is alot to do here. This is quite involved." He said, "Well, I will help you if you need it." So I guess that is something at least.

lach1137 · November 2012

IBackBevo:
Thanks again for all of the advice. I talked to my boss and basically said I didn't see how I could get this done in the six working days I have until it is due and he said, "Sure you can." Then I said, "Well, I can't work longer than the three days a week and I just don't see how that is enough time...there is alot to do here. This is quite involved." He said, "Well, I will help you if you need it." So I guess that is something at least.

I say take his advice, and outline what YOU will be responsible for, and what specific help HE needs to be responsible for and by when for you to reach this deadline. He can't crap on you like that, that's just not fair! Hopefully that will help him see how involved this project is that he just dumped in your lap.

Starbear06 · November 2012

I didn't read all the pp responses but IMHO you are being screwed on your part time hours and pay. I know salary pay you do what you got to do to get the work done but you have to be realistic about the workload. The workload should meet the expectation of your part time schedule. Do you work for a small practice? Is there an HR dept to talk to? I would start with your boss and go from there if nothing changes.

lujain · November 2012

I don't have any answers for you; I just wanted to sympathize about your crappy situation. I am also an attorney, working 3 days a week. (Occasionally I do work more than that, but I am paid on an hourly basis, so I get paid more to work more.) I also had severe pre-eclampsia, IUGR, and an emergency c-section. Kiddo was in the 1st percentile at birth. She is 3 years old and is doing great now, but I remember how scary it was to have such a teeny tiny baby. And I've also had my share of horrendous bosses who dump their own work on you at the last minute. That is insane what your boss is asking you to do. An opposition to an MSJ is a huge project, and it sounds like your case is particularly complicated.

I would definitely ask your boss for specific instructions as to exactly which pleadings, deposition transcripts, discovery responses, etc. he would like you to review so you can use your time wisely. Do you have paralegals or other associates who can assist you? I would try to farm out the legal research to other associates, if possible, and have a paralegal summarize depositions.

racampbell1 · November 2012

lujain:
I don't have any answers for you; I just wanted to sympathize about your crappy situation.nbsp; I am also an attorney, working 3 days a week.nbsp; Occasionally I do work more than that, but I am paid on an hourly basis, so I get paid more to work more.nbsp; I also had severe preeclampsia, IUGR, and an emergency csection.nbsp; Kiddo was in the 1st percentile at birth.nbsp; She is 3 years old and is doing great now, but I remember how scary it was to have such a teeny tiny baby.nbsp; And I've also had my share of horrendous bosses who dump their own work on you at the last minute.nbsp; That is insane what your boss is asking you to do.nbsp; An opposition to an MSJ is a huge project, and it sounds like your case is particularly complicated.nbsp; I would definitely ask your boss for specific instructions as to exactly which pleadings, deposition transcripts, discovery responses, etc. he would like you to review so you can use your time wisely.nbsp; Do you have paralegals or other associates who can assist you?nbsp; I would try to farm out the legal research to other associates, if possible, and have a paralegal summarize depositions.nbsp;

Great advice and what I was going to suggest. I am so sorry you are dealing with this right when you came back to work. FWIW, part time lawyering in the private sector was like that for me too. This won't help in your immediate situation, but consider looking for a government postion pronto. I made the switch while on mat leave with DD2 and have never been happier. I am working fewer hours at a full time position than I did on my supposed eighty percent schedule. I do think it is very hard to reenter the legal world once you have been out for a while, my lawyer frien had to do contract work for over a year to get her foot back in the door. Best of luck, and I really hope your boss sticks to his word and helps you.

IBackBevo · November 2012

Unfortunately, I do not have anyone else who could help me. I am the associate...and the paralegal I share with my boss is not capable of doing research or trained to do research. Plus, she is usually already busy with things for my boss.

I really don't think I want to look for another job. The one good thing about this job is that our office is moving in a month and our new location will be within 20 minutes of my house...commuting to downtown from my house (where most law firms are located at) is over an hour commute in bad traffic each way. Honestly, the way I am feeling right now is that if this doesn't work I am just going to be a SAHM. I am just filled with dread about going to work tomorrow...I am not even enjoy my evening with my LO because I am just sick to my stomach about going in tomorrow and stressed about how I am going to get all of this done.

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