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Losing faith in myself

farmerpinkyfarmerpinky member
in Natural Birth

Hi. I'm an April 2013 mom. I have 3 others (13, 11,9). My birth experiences with the older lot were horrible. I was convinced my body couldn't go into labor, so I was induced for all of them. I didn't know I had scoliosis, so my dura was punctured with 2 of 3 epis.

After my 3rd child,doc said I could do no more epis. I'm okay with that now. I am more in tune with my body and confident with it's abilities...until this weekend.

I have a kidney infection, kidney stones and more pain than I ever thought imaginable. I've refused morphine(!) but they have me on another I've pain med that's not as extreme. 

I only have 20 weeks until my due date. How do I get ready? My mw suggested a book! I think I'll need more than that. The birthing center classes are really medicated birth option heavy. I don't want to be drugged for this birth. I know if I'm prepared I'll be okay. I just can't manage this pain. I need to get on the ball.. 

If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.-Douglas Adams
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Re: Losing faith in myself

  • RMS112611RMS112611 member
    I don't have a ton of advice, but do realize that kidney infections, kidney stones and such are NOT natural for your body to go through!  Your body was not made to go through that, something is wrong with your body and that is why you are in pain.  Your body WAS made to go through labour!  It is something completely natural that is supposed to happen, pain with a purpose, and it IS something you will be able to manage.  Being able to get up and move around and switch positions will be a huge help,  having a midwife/doula/hubby that can apply counter-pressure to your back will help, and realizing that each contraction is bringing you closer to your baby will help.  Your midwife knows what she's talking about, I'd take her up on that book suggestion!  Good luck!

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  • robyn2201robyn2201 member
    I have had kidney stones multiple times in the past and the pain was horrendous. I never though labor was that way. Yes it was very painful, but it was manageable. Contractions come and go. I focused on one at a time. The pain from kidney stones felt never ending and like I had been stabbed in the side with a knife. Definitely different types of pain.
    Ivy: July 2010  |  Stella: Dec 2012  |  BFP#3: MMC at 11Wk's, July 2017 | Wyatt: April 2019 | BFP#5: Twin Girls due Sept 2020

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  • PansyPantsPansyPants member

    Having been through labor and also having very painful injuries in the past, they're nothing alike.

    Everyone says labor is a natural process your body knows how to deal with and after a while that starts to sound like a load of bullship; it isn't.

    Your body has all sorts of fancy chemicals that it knows how to create, during the progress of labor your uterus contracts sending signals to your brain that you're going to need a little more go-go-happy-juice. It works, it really does, and even though you still feel the intensity, you still feel something that can be called pain, but it happens in a way that makes the pain not feel scary and makes it manageable.  

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  • farmerpinkyfarmerpinky member

    Oops

    If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.-Douglas Adams
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  • farmerpinkyfarmerpinky member

    Thanks ladies. I guess I was equating all types of pain. I need to have faith in my body's abilities. I got scared by my initial reaction to this pain. I will look into some books as I sit here in the hospital. I've got nothing but time.

    My mw wanted to transition me out of here sooner with an at home care plan, but her back up doctor stepped all over her and took over my case. I'll be lucky if I'm out tomorrow(day 5). He wants to keep keep for a full ten days! I'm pushing to go home because I feel much better now that the antibiotics are working. 

    If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.-Douglas Adams
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  • mystranamystrana member
    I have heard time and again from friends and family members that said they would much rather give birth naturally than deal with kidney infections/stones. I know how scary it is to feel pain while pregnant and start panicking, but you are strong and your body is honestly and truly designed to give birth in a way that it is NOT designed to deal with kidney stones.
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  • BLPL101BLPL101 member

    imagemystrana:
    I have heard time and again from friends and family members that said they would much rather give birth naturally than deal with kidney infections/stones. I know how scary it is to feel pain while pregnant and start panicking, but you are strong and your body is honestly and truly designed to give birth in a way that it is NOT designed to deal with kidney stones.

    My mom said the same thing. She had two natural childbirths and thought kidney stones were worse.

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  • choppinbroccoli22choppinbroccoli22 member
    If they are an accredited birth center, they can't actually administer any pain medication to you. You would need to be transferred for it. So, if their classes to contain information on them, it probably is to educate you, vs. to try to convince you to get them. Their classes are also probably empowering with knowledge of other techniques, and confidence-inspiring reassurances.
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  • farmerpinkyfarmerpinky member

    imagechoppinbroccoli22:
    If they are an accredited birth center, they can't actually administer any pain medication to you. You would need to be transferred for it. So, if their classes to contain information on them, it probably is to educate you, vs. to try to convince you to get them. Their classes are also probably empowering with knowledge of other techniques, and confidence-inspiring reassurances.

     They are the women's hospital "birth center." 

     I love my mw, but she will only deliver at the hospital. She is amazing and really advocates for women and natural birth, but the medical community here fights tooth against losing any part of the women's healthcare market. She has to take great care to be considered "legit." It kills me!  

    If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.-Douglas Adams
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  • aprilcarrollwestberryaprilcarrollwestberry
    I too am giving birth at home for the first time and have kidney stones along with pubis dysfunction ( my hips keep going out on me).  I found it hard to get past the pain aspect of it but after watching some home birth videos it really helped! Documentaries like 'Pregnant in America' and 'The Business of Being Born' were a real help to me too.  Also realizing that the pain your body goes through is all for a really good purpose and there a are many different medical reasons your body goes through pain too. Pain helps your mind focus and different levels of pain cause your body to release its natural pain relieving hormones. I also try to meditate on it and accept the pain and instead of focusing on the birth so much I try to focus on the prize afterwards.  And the prize not just being my baby, although that is the big one, but also the satisfaction that I did it and my body and mind conquered it!
    Westberry
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