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Blended Families
+just+j+
member
Tell me this is normal.
+just+j+
member
To question yourself in the middle of a divorce and wonder if you are doing the right thing.
H is in another city about 125 miles away looking for a job. He may have one lined up finally. It pays decent too.
Seperation papers are being filed this week.
Bankruptcy is wrapping up and in it's final stages.
Foreclosure papers arrived this weekend.
H may be moving out in the next week or two.
Now that he's not around and I've had the house to myself and DD for three days and it's been peaceful and quiet....I'm actually missing him.
I know. Crazy. Right?
I know what it is tho. Now that we are not around each other, and we are not fighting or bickering, and I'm not having to deal with him, I'm missing the guy I wish he would be, and always believed he could be, but never will be.
Even though I am encouraging him getting a job, and moving out soon, I'm coming to the realization that pretty soon it will just be DD and me. And it's freaking me out a little.
I know I'll be okay. I know everything will be alright, but I am extremely sad. Sad that I even got myself into this mess, sad that I actually put up with all this crap for so long. Sad that I foolishly thought it would/could all be different. Sad that I'm a part of seperating my daughter from her father - who despite his jackassery about $$, really, really adores and loves his little girl.
Don't worry. I'm not changing my mind. I am just going thru a rough spot. I have a better life to look forward to. I just have to say good bye to this one.
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.
"he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Tell me this is normal.
They're right. And you're right - you miss what COULD be, not how things actually were. "A tiger never changes its stripes." You are better off without him, and you will have a much more fulfilling and satisfying life without him.
And, yes, I believe the feelings you are having are 100% normal.
Please surround yourself with family and friends. Let your guard down and cry and ask for support when you need to.
It's totally normal to mourn the loss of something, even if it is only a dream of what could have been.
I remember when I left my ex and I moved out after 4.5 years together. The silence in the room as night was crippling. I actually missed hearing him breath. I knew it was the right thing BUT it still hurt.
Try to line up lots of fun things for you and DD (maybe save for a trip to Ireland!!). What were your goals and dreams before you got caught up in the chaos.
Tell yourself every day that you did your best, worked your hardest and gave your marriage every chance. Tell yourself how great a person and mother you are and marvel at your adorable little daughter that come out of this.
You will get through this hon xxx
This exactly. I am divorced from DS's father and when he moved out and we started divorce proceedings it was a relief. Then I started thinking like you do, I missed the person he was. I missed the plans we had for our future. But the more time went by the happier I became, and the happier DS was, and I realized that this really was the best way to go. I never realized how my bad relationship with my husband affected my relationship with DS, even though he was so young at the time. Now his parents are happy, even if we aren't an "intact" family, and that's the best envirmonment for DS. Same things will happen for you too. Stay strong and everything will be fine.