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Another Bedsharing Question - not sleeping deeply?

RioG1978RioG1978 member
in Attachment Parenting

I read in the "snacking" thread that babies who bedshare don't sleep as deeply as solitary sleepers.  Is this seen as a good thing? 

 We're not formally bedsharing, but we do co-sleep, and more often than not these past few weeks baby ends up in bed with us because I'm tired and prefer to night-nurse lying down.

But am I doing her a dis-service?  Is she getting the sleep she needs?  I was always under the impression that she slept better when with me.

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Re: Another Bedsharing Question - not sleeping deeply?

  • Emerald27Emerald27 member
    She does sleep better with you! Your instincts are correct. Babies' heart rate is more steady in sleep when they are next to mom, and when you go to sleep and your breathing becomes slow and rhythmic, your LO's will match it! Babies are so cool!

    But, no! You are absolutely not doing a disservice to your baby. On the contrary, you are letting her sleep as nature intended! Baby sleep is very different from adult sleep, and they are meant to sleep more lightly and eat more often...we just commonly expect them to conform to our habits and schedules. In fact, it is in the lightest stages of infant sleep that the most brain development occurs.

    It may seem strange, but the cosleeping arrangement is very natural and promotes the most natural babysleep possible...which is light sleep and frequent nursing. :
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  • RioG1978RioG1978 member

    oh phew - thank you for taking the time to reply.  Every ounce of me knew that she slept better with me, so it was very odd to read that my instincts might be wrong.  I didn't know babies were meant to be light sleepers.

     The plan has always been to move her to her crib at 6 months, but the longer she sleeps with me, the more I think that date will get pushed back. :)

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  • ncbellencbelle member

    Ditto to the above! I'd also add that some sleep researchers (James Mckenna's work in particular) have really interesting things to show about how mothers and babies sleep "in sync".  One reason that co-sleeping (as in room sharing) is advocated as a SIDS prevention measure is that it's thought that babies may sleep too deeply - dangerously so - when they sleep alone.  We definitely were not meant to sleep alone, particularly as infants!

    FWIW I bed shared with both of my kids full time until about 16 months - even when they still woke multiple times a night to nurse, they always acted very well rested (even though their sleep totals are on the low side of sleep average ranges) - so clearly they were not harmed in the sleep department!

     



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  • boogerbearoriginalboogerbearoriginal member

    Something else to keep in mind, the notion of separate rooms for everyone is a modern one that was made possible by whole house heating, among other things. 



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  • RioG1978RioG1978 member
    From a purely practical standpoint, I plan on letting her night feed/comfort nurse as long as she feels the need.  I won't be "weaning" her until she's ready.  The thought of getting up in a cold and dark house and even just taking the few steps across the hall to her room... blech.  Much nicer in a cozy bed. 
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  • Emerald27Emerald27 member
    The practicality alone of bedsharing is convincing enough to me! The only reason we did not originally intend to bedshare was because we were both told how unsafe it was and that if we started letting him sleep with us, we would never be able to get him out of our bed. My mom is still super worried about his future...Blah blah blah misinformation blah blah...

    Once I did some independent research and discovered all the wonderful benefits of cosleeping, I knew it was for us!

    I plan to let my DS wean himself as well. He'll know when he is ready. Sounds like you have great instincts and are following them! Good job, Mama!
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  • DCMergedDCMerged
    On the other side of the coin, I've found that I don't get the restful kind of sleep I need probably because I'm in sync with baby. I'm willing to sacrifice that for his benefit, but I don't know how long I can last (I work full time).
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  • RioG1978RioG1978 member

    imageDCMerged:
    On the other side of the coin, I've found that I don't get the restful kind of sleep I need probably because I'm in sync with baby. I'm willing to sacrifice that for his benefit, but I don't know how long I can last (I work full time).

     No, I totally hear this.  I'm in Ontario and get a full year mat leave, which I acknowledge is one of the reasons I can do things like this. 

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  • DCMergedDCMerged
    imageRioG1978:

    imageDCMerged:
    On the other side of the coin, I've found that I don't get the restful kind of sleep I need probably because I'm in sync with baby. I'm willing to sacrifice that for his benefit, but I don't know how long I can last (I work full time).

     No, I totally hear this.  I'm in Ontario and get a full year mat leave, which I acknowledge is one of the reasons I can do things like this. 

    SO SO envious

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