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Baby Showers
MBush4
member
Another shower question... sorry...
MBush4
member
in Baby Showers
Sorry, I know I've had lots of shower questions recently, but I'd rather ask you guys and risk being flamed than ask my friends in real life and have them think ill of me... So several people have come up to me saying/asking, "I'm throwing you a shower" or "Can I throw your shower?" I'm very appreciative of their offers, although I really am okay with not making a big deal out it. That being said, no one has mentioned when they plan on throwing them.
My SIL who lives out of state, 6 hours away, said she wants to throw one with the people DH grew up with and their family friends. She mentioned this to DH a few times a couple of months ago but hasn't mentioned it since. The other three are in the area; one for work and two with family and friends respectively. While I know the work one will be during the work day (we look for any reason to throw a party here), I don't know when anyone else is throwing the shower other than "in January". This is fine except that January is going to be a really busy month for DH and I and I'd feel bad if it feel on a weekend we couldn't go.
Would you ask the respective hosts when they were thinking to do the showers? I don't want to seem rude or presumptuous because for all I know, maybe they don't want to throw the shower anymore (which is totally fine with me). But I don't want them to plan and then it be a weekend I couldn't participate or have two on the same day and/or same time and it be awkward. How can I be an effective go-between without coming off as pushy or whatnot? I'm also a little concerned because as I've recently learned I'm now officially a high risk pregnancy and could/could not be put on bed rest soon and with the showers being close to my due date or with me being on bed rest, I honestly don't know how to handle the timing of stuff without being pushy. I just don't want to come off as one of those "entitled" FTM.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Another shower question... sorry...
Ok, we're two months away from January, it doesn't sound like anyone is actively planning anything for you right now. The next time someone says something about a shower in January, I think you'd be totally fine asking them if they had an idea of when because you know its going to be a busy time. Or better yet, tell them "we have plans on these days, any other day is fine by me."
The bed rest thing is a sucky issue. Depending on your individual situation, maybe your doctor will give you a free pass for a couple of hours one afternoon as long as you follow some guidelines, or the shower will simply have to be put off until after delivery.
You feel these 4 offers were all pretty firm? If so, I'd contact each of them (maybe have your DH deal w/ your SIL) and say "Hey- I feel weird asking this, but in looking at my calendar, I need to get everything in front of me. You had offered to throw a shower. Now- if you no longer can, that's completely fine! I have no problem w/ that. But if you were still planning on doing it- I'd like to start looking at dates. My weekends are already starting to fill up through January".
If you want to, mention that you're now high risk too.
From this, hopefully you can get the ball rolling on getting dates set. And honestly, I'd probably try do to it through e-mail. Only in that if they actually need to bail on throwing a shower, it's easier on them to say no through email than over the phone/in person when you're saying "we need to pick a date". KWIM?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Sound advice. Thanks! That's part of the thing. I don't want to act like my shower(s) are the most important things on their calendar because they aren't. Shoot, laundry comes before it I'd say. It's just that with the holiday rush and stuff I'd rather get an idea ahead of time. That plus with the bed rest thing... Yeah.
And an email sounds great to me! I know I'd feel more awkward if someone asked me about this in person whereas in an email it's less confrontational (even though this really isn't a confrontational issue, just... yeah, I'm going to shut up) Thanks!