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Natural Birth
mrshall10210
member
Your thoughts, please... (long)
mrshall10210
member
I haven't posted much on this board but I've gotten lots of encouragement from reading here.
I'm 16 weeks with our first, and planning on a natural birth in a hospital. I go to a multi-dr/midwife office within the hospital, and see a different provider a each visit. At my last visit, I briefly brought up the subject of natural birth with the midwife I was seeing. Her answer, though brief, was basically that you won't be forced into anything you don't want, no scheduled inductions until after 41 weeks, etc. I was satisfied with that answer and didn't push the issue further.
Today, I was talking with a lady I met in passing at work who had somewhat recently had a baby. She had chosen to use a different hospital because she wanted a natural birth. She said that the hospital I am using does not allow baths or showers during labor, birthing balls, etc. during labor.
The issue I have is that this hospital is the closest to me. It is still about a 15 minute drive from my home or work. If I choose another hospital, I am going to have about an hour drive, no matter where I go. I'm not entirely comfortable with that. I would like to spend a little while after I go into labor at home if I can, and still be able to get to the hospital quickly. I don't want to switch hospitals.
I'm wondering if they can really "not allow" a patient to shower while in labor? If I want to walk around, can they really tell me no? How much control does a hospital have over how I want to labor? I can be pretty stubborn when I want to be, and DH is a nurse, so I am pretty confident that I can stick to my guns about what I do and do not want, but I'm just not sure what my rights are here. Does anyone have a similar situation and how are you handling it? Advice?
I don't think that there are doulas in my area; at least, I googled it and wasn't able to find anything. I do plan on taking childbirth classes as they are available, and maybe a Bradley class online or read a book if that isn't an option. Can anyone recommend a good book for me to get educated on the different interventions and when to refuse them? For example, I know better than to allow them to induce me too early, but there are lots of things I have no idea about.
Any and all advice is appreciated.. thanks for reading my long post 
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Re: Your thoughts, please... (long)
I am not sure if it is different state to state, but I am in CA and just had a relevant conversation with a friend of mine. I am choosing to do a hospital birth, but it is at a maternity center that is affiliated with the hospital. If I had it my way, I would do a home birth but DH is totally not comfy with that option. Luckily we have such a nice alternative.
My friend had twins in the hospital here and said that you have the right to do what you want. It was a pretty funny conversation. She said she was in so much pain she wouldn't even let them put the gown on her and that she was probably the most foul mouthed woman in labor they ever saw. But she told me that I could stay at home until the last minute and walk out after I had the baby if I wanted. The hospital is not a prison and you are free to go as you wish. Hope this helps give some answers to you and good luck!
The short answer is, no they can't force you to do anything. But they really could make your life miserable while you are there, is that really something you want to deal with while in labor? Plus how do you know they even have showers? I mean if they don't allow you to use them then they might not even be on the L & D floor. I guess what you have to consider is not just the limited mobility part, but what that is saying about the hospital as a whole. Have you asked what their c-section rate is? Sure it's relatively easy to say I don't care what your policy is, I'm eating if I want to or sitting on an exercise ball next to the bed instead of being in bed. But how easy is it to determine whether an episitomy is necessary or Pit augmentation or a c-section? When they start talking about fetal distress or maternal hemorrhaging you want to trust that the interventions they are suggesting are necessary and not just standard operating procedure at their hospital.
If you decide to stay with this hospital I would labor at home until you feel you are close to the end. Shower, eat, move around in the comfort of your own home and then when you really feel like it's time to go then leave for the hospital.
As far as recommendations on books, "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" is a good one. Good luck!
It is true that they can not hold you there against your will. But they do have some power to hold your baby there. My SIL is a pedi at a hospital and had some parents who were trying to leave soon after the baby was born. She told the nurse that if they tried to leave with the baby to call security. Not sure how that would have played out in all honesty, because luckily it didn't come to that, but they do have more authority over a minor if they think the parent is not acting in the best interest of the child.
You're right, I don't want to be a total pain in the butt and have them so annoyed with me that they make me miserable.
One nice thing about this hospital is that you spend the entire time, labor/delivery and recovery, in the same room. Baby stays with you if you want them to, and there is a couch for dad to sleep on if he stays. So I'm sure there must be a shower in the room... that's a minor issue, and who is to say I'll even want a shower. I don't know about their c-section rate. I know there is one doctor involved with the practice (who I haven't seen, and will avoid if at all possible), who is big on inductions and, as a result, c-sections...
I guess I just feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, here. I don't feel like I have any alternatives but this hospital. I will definitely stay home as long as possible but I want this to be a good experience, and as natural as possible.
Thank you for the book recommendation. I will definitely check it out.
Does your hospital offer maternity/ L&D tours? I know your friend gave you her opinion, but the hospital policy may be completely different than what she's heard/experienced. I know our hospital has a 90-ish% epidural rate, but during our hospital tour with DD, the nurse showed us the labor tubs, birthing balls, squat bars, and discussed all labor options. They may be more open to your labor wishes than your friend thinks....just nobody usually uses them.
Definitely try to get a tour, or a talk to a nurse on L&D to ask about policies, what's available in the rooms, etc.
This. The majority of my friends didn't know they were able to shower & move around because they went straight for the epidural (and couldn't). I am pleasantly surprised with the natural birthing options my hospital offers.
All of the suggestions about a tour sound like a good idea. I guess I thought that was something I should wait to do until closer to the end, but if there's any chance I'm going to be really put off by it, I should find out sooner than later. Maybe I will bring this up at my next appointment. I'm also seeing a new doctor at this visit, so maybe I will ask her some questions about policies, too.
I think maybe I'm just afraid to find out that things aren't like I want them to be, because I don't feel like switching hospitals is an option. It's sad we have to be so focused on making sure we get the kind of care we want while giving birth.
Is the other place that's an hour away a better fit, besides the distance? I drove an hour to my birth center. It was NBD. I enjoyed driving to my apts- made a good cd and brought a snack for the drive. And during labor the car ride wasn't awesome, but it wasn't that bad at all. I would honestly check that place out and if it's going to make you more comfortable, I'd sacrifice a little convenience.
Ditto the tour idea as well.
Loss #6 2014 Loss #7 (chemical) 2014
~DS Born! 2009~
~DD Born! 2013~
You should be able to take the tour early. Ours were every Monday evening at 6 pm and it didn't matter how far along you were. My DH and I went around 6 months and were by far the earliest couple there, but it helped me get a handle on their procedures. I will say the nurse giving it seemed very strict to hospital policy while in front of everyone, but when I addressed concerns with her privately, she did say that they are more lenient with patients (regarding IV's, walking around, constant monitoring, etc) on a case to case basis. Because our hospital has over a 90% epi rate, their "policies" are in place for medicated births. As long as there are no complications, she said they try to really work with you as long as we agree to intermittent monitoring and a hep lock iv "just in case."
First, I would tour the hospital. Yes, there are times when they do the "bait and switch" and tell you you can do things when you can't or they prefer you not. But I got a very good feel for the hospital we chose by seeing how comfortable the nurse giving the tour was with answering the questions and by asking what was "normal" for them.
I'd question where this lady got her info--did she share how she knew? If she heard from someone else what their birth experience was like and passed on that info, it could be outdated or not the same circumstance. For instance, if you have an epidural, you can't walk around--so if she heard her friend couldn't walk around but didn't share that she had the epi, you're getting only partial info. And a person's practitioner makes a difference, too--if your MW sends the hospital orders that you can move around, use the birthing ball, etc., they should respect that--just like if someone else's OB sent orders that the person had to be on the monitor all the time so couldn't shower or walk the halls.
Also, ask your midwife. If she delivers at this hospital, she'll be able to tell you if they're usually cooperative or not.
And, if all signs point to "not a good fit"--we were 45 minutes from our hospital and I was fine with that drive. We didn't have much of an option since we live out in the middle of nowhere, but as long as your labor isn't precipitous (and, heck, 15 minutes might be too far in a real time crunch!) you should be fine. No, it was not a fun car ride, but it's doable!
Have you talked to anyone who has given birth at this hospital? If not, I would try to do that.
I also think your provider is potentially more important than the hospital. If your provider is okay with you showering, being up and walking around, birth ball, etc. than I would not worry too much.
Don't be afraid to ask questions/research. You may come to the conclusion this hospital is not right for you. However I would not let one person who did not even deliver there scare you away at this point.
The tour is for Q&A, no matter when you have them! I did mine when I wasn't showing, and so did my SIL. It was important in making my decision. So what if everyone else was 9 mo's pregnant on the tour, people make decisions differently.
My hospital was an hour away with #1. We moved since then, and this time, the birth center we chose is over an hour away into potentially heavy city traffic. I labored for 44 hrs with #1, so it really was not an issue.
And yes, there was even a blizzard. It does get to be a pain in the neck when your appointments are every week, but for us, we just want what we want, and we make it work.